~promises~ (zukka AU)

chapter 6

●*12 years ago*●

zuko's POV

"zuko, zuko, look what i did today!" sokka shouts from a distance, as he's running towards me enthusiastically.

he trips, stumbiling on his own feet and almost falls, but he regains his balance quickly. when he stops running, he kneels beside me, on the ground, with a paper roll in one of his hands.

"i-" he begins talking, but stops abruptly once he notices. "what happened to you?"

he grips on my arm, taking a closer look at the violet patch that makes me shiver even by simply knowing it's there. he brushes his tiny, warm fingers carefully on the bruises on my hands, legs and finally, on my face. he cups my jaw, staring at my black eye with a sickening expression, full of worry, that makes it too hard for me to keep the tears inside.

"who did this to you, zuko? did you get into a fight? were the kids at school mean to you again?"

he awaits a response, but i only bite my lower lip to stop it from trembling. i can't repress my sadness when he looks at me like that.

"my dad-" my tongue stumbles in my mouth, but it's enough to set the tears free.

i nuzzle my cheek into sokka's palm. he's the only person that has shown me affection since mommy died. except for uncle iroh, but he's always busy with his job and doesn't have time to take care of a stupid kid like me.

"your dad did this to you?" sokka questions me and i nod with my head down, unable to look at him.

i throw myself in his arms, almost knocking him to the ground, but he hugs me tightly while i cry my eyes out.

images of my father pop up in my mind, forcing me to relieve those horrific moments. i see him holding a belt in one of his hands, laughing heartily while striking me with it. my thin skin cannot stand that much pain, so it begins to sting and bleed, to the extent where my body starts to become numb to everything. to his heavy palms hitting my face despite my relentless begs for him to stop, to his pointy shoes digging their way into my ribs, and even to his cigarettes being put out against my skin, just like an ashtrey.

"he- he said that it's all my fault t- that mom died, and that- that i should have died instead" my words muffle into his shirt and i choke on quivering sobs. "maybe- maybe he's right"

i pull away from sokka and look into his eyes, that are filled with worry, as well as anger.

"my mom didn't deserve to die! it should have been me!" i shout, letting my emotions burst out. "but she did die, only to save an useless kid that's good for nothing! it would have been better if i was dead!"

i mean- that's how my father described me all my life, especially after mom's death. he used to be violent before, but now that she's not here anymore to bear his fury, it's all fallen onto me. i guess i somehow deserve it, though. if it wasn't for me, she would have been alive and well.

"zuko, don't say that!" sokka shakes my shoulders desperately. "it's not your fault that your crazy father burned down your house! you did nothing wrong, so you better stop blaming yourself!"

"b- but-"

he doesn't let me speak, because he covers my mouth with his fingers.

"besides, i would be really sad if you died" sokka adds sincerely.

he fixes me with a serious expression that makes me want to cry even harder. i- i don't want sokka to be sad... and more importantly, i don't want to be the one causing him that sadness.