One Thousand Words of Pride

Last Bus to Budapest

The rainbow flag supposedly still flies over the town hall entrance in Budapest, but László wouldn't know. He won't be moving to the capital for almost another month, and out in the country, its influence seems far away sometimes. For better or worse.

He's waiting for the bus, smoking a cigarette. Some old, imperial-era buildings line the street opposite from him. An engraving over the entryway on one of them reads "Erbaut 1877." He can't say for sure why it is in German. The monarchy worked in its own ways back in the day, and some of them he thought were best described as curious.

Somebody joins him while he waits, a young man who is maybe twenty years old. László briefly glances over to the boy who cut his hair extremely short, making him look like he serves in the army. He has a hard face with clearly defined cheekbones and a challenging glare that he returns László's looks with once he catches him peeking.

They both quickly look away, and László frowns, mostly to himself. Why some complete stranger would intimidate him like this, he doesn't know. Things shouldn't be this scary anymore, now that he only passes for a man and nothing else. Some people around here know about his past and his secret of course, which is part of the reason he's moving to Budapest. But he's never even seen this boy before, so there's really nothing to worry about.

Before long, both their eyes wander up the opposite building's facade, and László can tell the boy sees what he's seeing. There's a faded European Union flag tied to the railing of a third floor balcony, its frayed edges ruffled by the chilly October breeze.

The boy mumbles something to himself, causing László to look up.

"I'm sorry, were you talking to me?" he asks, trying to overcome his own anxiousness. The boy stares at him.

"I said, I wonder who paid them to put that up," he says. "I wasn't necessarily talking to you."

László takes a nervous look around, but there's nobody else nearby. He takes a moment to compose himself and ask his next question.

"Put what up?"

"The flag. That damn flag!" the boy says, pointing up at the balcony. "These people want to take away our independence, along with all those other globalists and homosexuals."

László has to stop himself from laughing. He's rarely ever seen a case this lost. Everything the boy just said sounded like a talking point right out of the television or in any of the newspapers. They keep spouting the same things every day.

"Come on," László says, reassured by his own deep voice. "You know most of that is made-up nonsense."

"Is it?" the boy asks. "My father told me the gays want to take away our children. And do god knows what to them. Everyone says that."

"Everyone you know," László adds without thinking. He briefly considers mentioning his husband, the person he's moving in with in Budapest, but then he decides against it. It would require explaining how they managed to get married in the first place, and that would only alienate the boy.

According to his official documents, László isn't even his real name. And he's supposedly a woman on top of that. While being a woman on paper makes marrying a man much easier than it would otherwise be, said papers still grossly misrepresent a reality that everyone who even so much as looks at him should recognize quickly enough.

"What's your name?" László asks.

"My name? It's István," the boy replies. "Why?"

"Just curious. István, do you know any gays?"

"Not personally, no. Nobody who admits it, anyway."

"Then why make such a big deal out of it? They obviously don't bother you!"

"You don't know that!" István tells him. "They're already all over Budapest, and western Europe and America, anyway. They could be anywhere and anyone..." he breaks off for a moment, thinking. "Mister, are you gay?"

István is obviously aggravated at the thought. He takes a step away from László, who avoids looking at him, unsure of what to say. There's not much time for him to think about it either, as the bus they're both waiting for rounds the corner just then. László can tell they're both waiting for this one, since it's the only line serving this stop.

The bus slows and stops in front of them. István quickly moves towards the back door. A number of boys his age greet him inside, and they're obviously friends of his. All the while, he's casting several nervous glances back at László.

"What's the matter?" István asks, eventually. "Aren't you getting on?"

"I'm not done yet," László simply replies holding up his cigarette. He surprises himself with how calm he sounds while saying it.

And István doesn't seem to mind. He still looks at László confused, but the door slides close between them a moment later, and the bus drives off down the street. Out of László's sight but not necessarily his mind.

He watches it go with a sigh, then wearily glances towards the schedule to confirm what he already knows. The next bus won't be here for another hour. He takes another drag off his cigarette before extinguishing it on the side of a nearby trashcan and flicking the butt inside. Lying on top of the trash pile, it glimmers for a moment then goes out.

He looks around. There's no taxi nearby that could take him along, and he wouldn't be able to afford it anyway. Hands stuffed in his pockets, László turns and heads down the street. There's some light rain starting to fall now.

He'll live in Budapest next month of course, and life will be different. Despite trying to save up for moving, László considers joining his husband there for the weekend. It would be a nice change of pace, and prepare him for things to come. Maybe.