One Thousand Words of Pride

What My Reflection Shows

That day she learned how the right kind of makeup could bring out anybody's feminine side.

Emily stared at her reflection in the mirror, and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She was grinning from ear to ear, and the girl staring back at her did the same. It was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen.

Her eyes looked larger than usual. A fine black line around them made sure of that. The eyebrows were more pronounced, underlined as they now were. And the pores and pimples on her face had all but disappeared, both acne-scarred cheeks now covered by a barely visible layer. They looked perfectly smooth. Emily could not for the life of her recall the last time they'd done that.

"Look at you! You look beautiful!"

Putting away the last of the mascara, Sara smiled at her with excitement, but Emily couldn't get herself to return it. Even though they had been friends since they were little, and even though she'd been out to Sara for over a week now, she still felt strangely vulnerable in this new skin of hers.

Sara was the only person Emily trusted at this time. Enough to talk to her about her new identity as a trans woman, anyway. Maybe it wasn't even about trust, and she just needed to build up the courage to tell everybody else first, but she couldn't say for sure.

"It's...I look okay," she mumbled. Emily could feel herself blush, but a glance at the mirror told her it was barely visible. One more thing that would take time getting used to.

Sara gave her a mock pout.

"Aw, come on. After I worked so hard!"

"I'm not..." Emily sighed. "You did a great job. Just as you, uh, just as you always do when it comes to makeup."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Sara commented, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I guess it's me," Emily went on. "I look disgusting. And you fixed it...a bit. But not completely. That's not even possible."

"You know my thoughts on that," Sara said, opening the bathroom door and stepping out. "Let's sit down. My feet are killing me."

Of course she knew Sara's thoughts. Emily spent years talking about how she hated her face, but especially to Sara and especially during the last few days. It was all she could think about while shopping for supplies today, and only on their way home did she realize how much it probably bothered Sara. So she stopped.

They went to sit at the kitchen table, and Sara poured them both something to drink. Emily had the cup halfway to her lips when she hesitated.

"Can I drink anything right now?" she wondered. "With the lipstick, I mean?"

"This one shouldn't come off so easily," Sara said with a shrug. "Just try it, we'll see."

"But it's not, like, a health hazard?"

"You think I put some poison into that pretty mouth of yours, girl? You don't know me at all."

"I..."

Emily's blush was much harder than the last, and this one she felt Sara probably could see. There was no need trying to defend herself. Sara was just kidding, and it was a stupid question anyway.

"Don't call me that," she added, coyly. "Not yet."

"Girl?"

"Yeah."

"You liked it though, didn't you?"

Emily looked at the glass in front of her.

"Maybe a little."

"It'll grow on you."

"That's the plan."

They sat in silence for a while, both pondering what to say. Sara was the one to speak up in the end, like usual.

"You know the new season started, right?"

"What sea..." Emily stopped herself mid-sentence. She was talking about RuPaul's Drag Race of course, something that became part of their Saturday routine long ago. They binged through every episode already and were now desperately waiting for something new to come out.

"Wanna binge through it later?"

"Binge through it?"

"Or we could just take a peek for now."

"That's more like it."

Sara leaned back in her chair, arms folded. Emily looked up a moment later, realizing she was studying her in some way. There was a self-satisfied smirk on her lips, something that made Emily uneasy. It usually meant Sara was going to be a tease about something.

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing," Sara said with a waive of her hand, but her tone suggested otherwise. "I was just thinking, I mean, I can't believe you're the same person like the gu..." She coughed in her hand. "...like the girl from half an hour ago."

"Nice save."

"You know me." Sara rolled her eyes. "Anyway, imagine going out looking like you do now. Cute boys from all over town would flock to you, I can tell you that."

"I would have to be a lot different from this," Emily said, crestfallen. "And I don't think I'm going out in public all done up. I don't want that...now."

"It's okay," Sara said. "Some other time then. You make the call."

"Probably not until I actually look like a girl," Emily added with a sigh. "Assuming I ever will."

"Of course you will!" Sara replied. "You'll be the prettiest girl in town, and they'll be all over you. That's not negotiable, cause I'll kick their butts otherwise. Among other things."

"Jesus, what is this? Sappy Saturday?"

"It's always sappy Saturday with just us girls," Sara said, standing up and putting her glass into the sink. "I'm gonna go start up Netflix. You coming?"

"Sure," Emily said, getting up. Sara gave her a skeptical look for a moment.

"You'll tell me when you want me to take that off, right?" she said, motioning towards her face. Emily nodded.

"I will, but, uh..." She looked at the floor, hoping this next blush won't be too visible. "I want to keep it on a bit longer. It...it makes me feel...pretty."

"And rightfully so," Sara said, heading into the hallway. "There's some pretzels on the shelf. Grab those for me, will you?"