One Thousand Words of Pride

Corrabell Blues

Making my way through town, I tried not to look left and right too much. Most of the buildings here were empty, many wasting away. No jobs to be had anywhere, so all the younger folks moved away. Those who could, anyway. Those left behind grew embittered and old by themselves. I couldn't blame them.

This being late summer, the sun bore down on the cracked asphalt and my clothes were damp from sweat. I never liked the summer months this far up north, and I couldn't wait to go back to the capital again. Fall wouldn't be too far away when I did.

There weren't many young people in this town. One specimen stood on the curb as I rounded the corner walking towards the greyhound stop. Her clothes were a bit sparse, and she went ahead flaunting her rear towards whoever did or didn't want to see it. I definitely belonged to that second group of people. Nonetheless, she trudged right up to me the moment I got in sight.

"Hey, honey," she greeted me, trying to sound at least somewhat seductive. "You look like you could use some company."

I didn't so much as look at her, though I tried a mumbled response as I tried moving past.

"Yeah, I don't think so."

She forced a smile as she took a step closer, bringing me to a stop. I could tell behind that facade she was enjoying this as little as I was, and the poorly covered-up bruise below her left eye told the rest of the story.

"Fifty bucks, and I'll make it worth your while," she said. "I can tell you're not one for talking, so that's my offer."

I sighed.

"Lady, no offense, but you don't have what I'm looking for."

"That's what they all say," she retorted. "You're not some queer, are you?"

She was straight to the point, alright. But I couldn't tell whether she just guessed that about me, or whether I gave it away somehow. Unlikely as the latter was, the prospect alone made me feel almost paranoid, all of a sudden.

"If I were, I'd be very much offended by what you just said," I told her, sounding as neutral as possible, and knowing how saying anything more to her at all was probably a bad idea. She seemed unimpressed.

"But you're not, so..."

"I suggest you keep that talk to yourself," I cut her off, raising my voice. "I don't want to hear it."

I don't know where my sudden outburst came from. Maybe it was just because after almost a week of having to put up with the same kind of homophobic rhetoric from my parents, I just couldn't take it anymore. When I wagged a finger in her face during my last sentence, she flinched back with a whimper. And I suddenly became all too aware of the broad-shouldered man who'd been watching the both of us from the nearby hotel entrance.

He took a step towards us, and I knew I should probably go.

"There a problem here?" he grunted.

"Not at all," I told him, carefully backing away. "I was just a little offended by something the young lady said. But I think it's been cleared up now, so..."

"I'll tell you what I think," he cut me off. "You are a queer, ain't ya? Well, tell you what. We don't need your kind here. I'd appreciate if you could stop wasting my girl's time and get lost."

He was calm and collected as I'd ever seen anybody, and it scared me more than any violent notion he could have made towards me. He could have yelled in my face, and I'd have been less aggravated. In any case, I knew when not to pick my fights. Backing off, I headed down the road, hoping they wouldn't mind me for long.

My bus was leaving in an hour. But I already didn't like the prospect of coming back here in two days. An uneasy feeling told me there might be more of his kind waiting here for me. Making my way up to the station building, I already started thinking of alternate routes through town, leading to my parents' house from the bus stop.

The greyhound station had an overly zealous AC unit, and a gust of cold air blew all over me the moment I set foot into the small waiting room. I cursed myself for not bringing a coat all of a sudden; not an issue I ever thought I'd face down here, especially in the summer. With the sweat on my skin and clothes cooling me down significantly, I started shivering in less than a minute's time.

The handful of passengers scattered around the room were mostly on their phones or engrossed in some magazines I'd never heard of before. They paid me no mind. The elderly lady sitting behind a counter at the back of the room craned her neck to see me the moment I walked in. I remembered knowing her, but I couldn't place her just then.

"Hello, sir," she said with little enthusiasm. "Need a ticket?"

"I have one, thanks," I told her. "Leaving in an hour."

If she witnessed any part of my earlier encounter down the road, she did her best not to show it. In any case, she could see the place from where she was sitting.

"Suit yourself," she mumbled. "Hope you enjoyed your visit."

I stared at her a bit perplexedly, but it gave way to some relief when I realized she probably didn't recognize me either. Wiping the sweat off my brow, I responded with a halfhearted nod, but she wasn't even paying attention anymore.