Pieces of Nine

3. Morning Butterflies

My morning started bright and early, with a chirp from my phone. Instantly, my face lit up with a smile. One of my boys was texting me! North had stayed the night with me and I tried my best to roll out of bed without disturbing him too much.

Silas: Good morning, Aggele Mou. I’ll be spending the morning preparing things for our date later this afternoon. Be ready to go by 3 p.m. Gabriel should be coming over sometime to help you get ready. I cannot wait to see you!

My smile threatened to split my face near in half. Silas was excited for our date this afternoon! He would be here in a little over 8 hours to pick me up. Suddenly, my stomach was filled with butterflies. I would be spending the afternoon, and possibly the evening, with Silas… alone. Alone! I’ve spent time alone with the boys before, but this was an entirely different situation. What was I supposed to do on our date? How was I supposed to act? What was I supposed to wear? So many questions! I thought I was going to be sick. Maybe a nice bath would help calm me down. I picked a comfy pair of pink lounge shorts and a fitted white t-shirt to wear this morning. If Gabriel was coming, then I knew he would want full control later. In fact, I wouldn’t even bother to wash my hair. He’d for sure want to do that, too. I headed to the bathroom on shaky legs.

I filled the tub with water and began going about my morning routine. In the middle of washing, there was a gentle knock on the bathroom door.

“Good morning, Sang Baby. I’m just going to head down and make myself something to eat. Can I fix you anything? What would you like?” North’s voice was still rough with sleep, and I liked the way it sounded.

“I’m ok, North. I’m just going to have a yogurt and maybe some toast. Thank you though.” I went about trying to finish my bath. I heard him huff in irritation.

“Baby, that isn’t enough. You need to eat something substantial, like eggs and bacon. Are you feeling ok? Is something wrong?” His voice sounded a little desperate towards the end. I heard the door knob start to turn.

“North, I’m fine. Maybe just a little nervous about later. That’s all. I’m ok, really.” I was worried that he might come in and see more of me than I wanted at the moment. I was hoping the tone of my voice would let him know that he didn’t need to come in but he didn’t listen and popped into the bathroom before I could stop him. I quickly turned my back and pulled my knees to my chest, but it didn’t matter because his eyes were closed.

“Sang. Everything’s going to be fine. What are you nervous about? Tell me what I can do to help.” North leaned back against the sink.  With his ankles crossed and arms folded casually against his broad chest, I couldn’t help but think how attractive he was.

“Well, for now, you can keep your eyes closed. I’m finished with my bath and need to get out.” Slowly I stood up from the bath and watched as North squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that his entire face scrunched with the effort. Slowly, North swallowed and I watched his Adam’s apple move up and down his strong throat. Was he nervous? What did he have to be nervous about? I was the one standing in the bathroom as naked as the day I was born. Quickly I grabbed a towel from the closet in the bathroom and covered myself.

“It’s ok now. You can open your eyes, North.” When his eyes opened, they were trained on me. I felt like he was measuring me. Looking for something, but what that was, I didn’t know. There was a darkness to his eyes. It wasn’t mean, but something else. Something I didn’t have words to describe, but I couldn’t look away.  Abruptly, he straightened up and stiffly walked from the bathroom straight downstairs where I heard him opening the fridge and banging pots and pans around.

After I had changed and pulled my hair up into a messy bun, I stumbled down the stairs and made my way to the kitchen. There sitting on the counter next to North was a plate of eggs, bacon and toast. North was busy finishing up the last bite from his own breakfast and nodded towards the plate- indicating it was for me and to get eating.  Something seemed a little off with him. Hesitantly I walked over to North and looked at him questioningly. I didn’t like it when any of my boys were upset, especially if they were upset with me. North’s eyes softened and he gave me a little smile to let me know that everything was ok. That little smile filled me with so much happiness, and I wanted to let him know.  Carefully, I reached my hand up and placed it on North’s shoulder to steady myself as I stood on my tiptoes. Without breaking eye contact, I moved my face close to North’s jaw, closing my eyes at the last second and gave him a soft kiss right where his jaw and neck met. I heard him take in a short breath, and he stopped moving. Slowly, I moved away to look him in the eyes once again, asking with my own if that was ok.

He answered by turning towards me and gently cupping my face with his large hands. He made me feel so tiny. I grabbed his wrists to keep myself upright. The look in his eyes told me that my kiss had been more than ok. It was welcomed and treasured. North traced his fingers down my cheeks until his hands were resting on the sides of my neck. It felt good. It made me feel safe. His hands were warm and tender- things one didn’t usually associate with North. Keeping his eyes on me, little by little, North lowered his lips toward the corner of my mouth. There he lingered, and I could feel his warm breath washing over my skin. It made my heart race, and my skin tingle. It was wonderful. I felt his lips press to my skin, and I was on fire. My eyes closed in the pure bliss of the moment. Gradually, he lowered his arms to wrap them around my waist and naturally, I reached up to wrap myself around North’s neck. As his face was pressed to my neck, I heard him inhale. It sounded peaceful. Content.

North pulled away enough to sigh. “Sang Baby, what am I going to do with you?”