Chapter 21

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Chris's pov

The first time I had seen my mother pray heartbreakingly was when Aliyah was born. She sat by her newborn's side in the NICU holding her little fingers, whispering prayers with tears falling from her closed eyes. Thirteen years old me just wanted her miseries to end and my sister to be home. The sight stuck from there I guess and it kept replaying today.

The moment I saw her standing in the flimsy hospital gown, wearing a charming smile, I knew what I had to do. She had already won a part of the battle and the only thing she needed was our presence and support. Ours and theirs.

As her guardian, this was the hardest thing I had done. The only thing running in my mind was that she did not deserve what she was going through. She was meant to be in school right now, or anywhere other than a hospital but I knew I couldn't dwell on those thoughts, we were here now and what mattered was the reality.

We sat in the waiting room in silence. I could not help the tapping of my foot, it was an annoying habit but it kept me sane. It hadn't even been an hour since the surgery started and I shuddered thinking this was supposed to be a few hours long. None of us was calm, even though the silence said otherwise. We were chaos waiting to reign.

Within the few minutes we had been here, Maverick had gone twice to smoke but had come back without smoking. I knew he was trying to keep his promise to Aliyah however hard it was being. He thought I was unaware of his unhealthy habit but I had known it all along. It's not usual for someone to suddenly develop an obsession with mint and fresh breath.

"How long has it been?" Ezekiel asked.

"Just fifteen minutes more than the last time you asked," Isaiah said disdainfully.

Isaiah had been more snarky than usual which was his way of showing distress. It was hurtful and in no way justifiable but none of us had the energy or will to check him. We were his brothers, used to his ways and we're just rolling with it.

"Come, let's take a walk," I told Ezekiel, patting his back. He had once told me how he felt in situations like these like something heavy was weighing on his chest, making it harder to breathe, an unsettled stomach like he was going to throw up any moment. The inability to do something or anything to better the situation made him feel like that. In moments like these, he liked to be occupied, like he had done the day before but sitting in the waiting room was all that he wanted to run away.

We walked out of the hospital, the change in the air immediately made it easier to breathe. I saw Ezekiel taking a deep puff of breath. It was unnaturally cold that morning. With little to no ray of sunshine, making the weather bleaker.

We walked for a bit until Ezekiel stopped abruptly.

"This isn't working, we can walk miles but my mind won't shut up." He said, frustration clear in his voice.

"Is there anything else that can make you feel better?" I asked softly. I was a total amateur at this. Ezekiel never asked for help, the moment I grew up, he grew too, when I took control of things, he naturally stood beside me. It was like second nature to him, we worked as a team. He had never felt like a younger brother to me, I would even call him my twin if not for our age difference.

"Yes, Aliyah coming back from surgery would definitely make it better." He said rubbing his hands to bring some warmth inside. I mimicked his actions, as another chilling gust passed through us.

"Believe me all of us want that but you know that won't happen for a few hours," I said laughing softly. He sounded like a child, who wanted something from the store that his mother had denied.

"I didn't know this would be so hard. It's getting harder every passing minute. It is mildly suffocating." He said, the anguish in his voice breaking my heart. I knew all of us felt the same way, it was mortifying and subduing to think that Aliyah was suffering and probably fighting for her life. Brain surgery was far from safe. Critical was the first word you read if you searched the word craniotomy. Lethal was a close second.

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