Under Our Care

Chapter 12

I winced at the loud sound of a car horn. There was a lot of traffic that day. We had been stuck on the same road for almost an hour. We moved again at snail's speed before coming to a halt. On any other day, I would have been frustrated but at that moment relief, even if it was for a second, washed over.

There was a tense silence throughout the ride, I could feel Chris's eyes on me every now and then but he averted them as soon as I looked at him. It was a bright sunny day, even though we were on the brink of a harsh winter. I rolled down the window a bit to let the cool air inside and sighed as the whistling wind provided some relief from the sun.

Usually, Chris would admonish me for letting all the cold wind inside but not today, I could see the worry all over his face. He pressed his lips together, a sign of anxiety or concentration, in this case, most definitely anxiety, we all inherited from our father. I would have tried talking to him if my own anxiety wasn't gnawing at me.

We were pretty late when we reached the hospital and the doctor had already left for scheduled surgery. We were told to collect the reports and choose between staying or leaving and coming back later. We chose to stay as the doctor would most probably be done with the surgery before we even reached our home as it was a small one as told by the nurse.

Chris collected the reports and came back to where I sat in the lobby. He decided to check the reports and see if he could understand anything but I saw his face and immediately knew he didn't understand a thing in it. He offered it to me but I immediately denied it. I didn't want to know what was written in it. If the doctor had called us, it was definitely bad.

Staying optimistic is easier said than done and I was the least optimistic person on this planet. I made assumptions before giving it a second thought and believed them till it was proven wrong several times.

It had only been five minutes since we sat but it felt like an eternity. I looked at Chris to see him already looking at the clock. I knew he felt the same.

I stood up to walk around because I didn't think I could make it past another minute if I sat there.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, I am just going to walk around to clear my head," I told Chris, he nodded.

"Just don't wander off far, it's a pretty big place."

I walked around looking at the walls which were filled with positive quotes and general awareness about health and diseases. I focused more on the positive quotes which were unknowingly calming my heart. One quote particularly piqued my interest.

It said, "It's okay to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really really brave."

Something about that quote strung the chords of my heart. I was about to move forward when a voice called over.

"Hey!" I looked back to see a young lady, not looking more than 30, sitting behind the inquiry desk calling over.

I never really talk to strangers but this lady had a kind smile on her face which wasn't creepy and didn't instantly repel me. I hesitantly walked over to her, after all, what harm could she do sitting across the glass window.

She gave a wide smile as I reached. I wonder how people can be so happy about absolutely nothing and in a place that loomed with sadness and death.

"I heard you are waiting for Dr. Katowski." She waited for my affirmation but it never came because I didn't exactly know the name of my doctor. "He is from the oncology department."

I winced at that, it was sort of too early and I just wanted to forget why we were really here. The lady looked at me apologetically.

"I am sorry about that, I am a nurse here, and it kind of slips my mind that these subjects can be sore for normal people."