I get anxiety sometimes
And sometimes
It feels like a million eyes are watching me...
You can tell I have low self-esteem
Because I don't feel like royalty 👑
Like a million eyes should be watching me💁
Instead I panic...
I panic at the thought of me being noticed...
That someone notices how I walk
And how I occasionally look everywhere
But your eyes
I panic at the thought of me falling
So therefore, I take caution with each step or stride
As if I were walking on a landfill
I panic...
I panic at the thought of me looking nervous😬
So, I scream in my head
That I'm fine, Bre it's all okay
But truthfully, I'm just hoping I could fade away
I just get anxiety...
I don't know if I was born this way
Or life made me this way
I'm overwhelmed with thoughts
That won't leave my mind
Every relationship I'm in my mind tells me it's a lie...
I'm bombarded with hate by my appearance
And if I'm considered clingy
That's why you never really get to see me
Because my anxiety likes to tell me
That you never needed me
And so, I get depressed...🥺
I'm to the point I don't want to wake up or get dressed
I'm fighting my instincts
That say to give up
I'm slipping into an abyss
I'm falling through your clutch
But you don't care...
At least that is what I think🤔
You see every time you tell me you love me❤
My mind tells me its fake💔
And I hate it
Because truthfully it was never you
But it was me
It's the fact that I feel like no one could truly love me
And so, I push you away
But inside I'm pleading, begging you to stay🙏
So, you see
I'm conflicted in my mind
Of whether to keep fighting or give up and just die💀
I guess I get anxiety sometimes🤷♀️...
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Authors Note: Hiyah! Umm so this is the first time I'm writing on Wattpad... I'm not fully 100% nervous about it because in a way I'm not expecting to receive any views/likes/comments so this is more so a collection of my writings for myself? But if someone does like my words then thanks bby!😊 Let's see how this is going to go!
P.S I'm writing all of this on my phone so excuse any errors 😬
YOU ARE READING
A Shout Into The Void
PoetryJust me ranting a poetic song into the void... "I hope one day when I am gone, someone, somewhere, picks my soul up off of these pages and thinks, "I would have loved her" ~ Nicole Lyons" * * * * * * * * * This is just a book filled with most of th...
