TW: Suicide mentioned!
A/N: This is just me writing down some of my intense feelings in the moment. This "poem" discloses the topic of suicide. Not too in-depth but I don't want to trigger anyone🥺 so I'm putting a TW just in case. I know I personally have trouble reading about it. But writing it down is the only way I can make sense of how I feel. Again TW below🥺 read at your discretion.
It's always been my voice...
It's always been my voice you know?
That voice that told me I wasn't good enough
That I was ugly
That I'm annoying
That it's all my fault
That I didn't deserve to be loved
That I should just go and kill myself
And that the world would be better off without me...
It's always been my voice saying that shit to me
No one else's but my voice spewing hate at me
And you know it's not like I can turn it off
It's not like I can say SHUT THE FUCK UP
Because it's always there
I can't control it...
It's like it's me but it isn't...
I think that some part of me got broken to the point of no return along the way
And that part of me just wants to die and leave this brokenness behind but it can't do it without killing me with it...
And so it lingers in my ears
Telling me to just go and do it and it would all be over
It's hoping that one day I'll listen
And take us both from the pain we can't escape...*
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Authors Note: So I'm not really sure if this qualifies as poetry??? But I consider anything poetic if it has meaning. I wrote this at a low point I experienced sometime last year (2020). I came to the conclusion that I allowed myself to only find happiness in others and the second they left me... the louder my "voices" grew, and the more I didn't want to "be around". After writing this I started putting myself first... it's something about writing down your feelings that puts it into perspective.
YOU ARE READING
A Shout Into The Void
PoetryJust me ranting a poetic song into the void... "I hope one day when I am gone, someone, somewhere, picks my soul up off of these pages and thinks, "I would have loved her" ~ Nicole Lyons" * * * * * * * * * This is just a book filled with most of th...