My train of thought, gone. My will to fence, gone. Everything that I have known about fencing, gone. I unplug myself from the machine, and run up to Renjun who has just finished a bout with Jeno. He turns around and sees me, and freezes. "You," I start to say, a bit out of breath. "You're that guy, the guy I saw years ago, do that lunge flick on that one boy on our team. You're that guy who I couldn't forget all these years." Renjun looks at me before speaking. "I was wondering when you were gonna figure that out." Then he turns around and walks away from me, heading towards the exit. I look at him stunned. I had just found the guy who had mesmerized me all these years just to have him turn away from me and walk away. What happened to the boy with the sweet smile? The boy that would talk to me like we were close friends? I've been getting silent treatment, and he's barely talked to me, let alone at fencing practice. So many thoughts swarm my head that I can't even think. I un-suit and head towards the stairs that will take me to the balcony of the building.
I arrive at the balcony to have my breath taken away from me. You know, the one thing about buildings that have a beautiful exterior, it's that they also have a beautiful view from the balcony. It was the perfect place to unwind and relax, to just get everything off my mind for the time being. I know that I'm supposed to be practicing, but I just can't after figuring out everything today.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I let the breeze run through my hair and hit my face, full force. Peace has finally come to me once again, and the silence of the world is comforting. I was so spaced out that I didn't even hear someone walk up behind me. "Hey." I jump at the sound of someone else and turn around to see Justin, once again. "Look, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to call off the bout and run away, it's just that I finally figured our who you are, who Renjun is." Justin laughs a little bit. "I figured that that might've been the reason," he says. I give him a questioning look before he continues, "You must've been shocked when you watched him fence for the first time am I right?" "How did you know?" I say in shock. "I could tell by the look on your face all those years ago." I look down in embarrassment. "You know," Justin starts again, "he was also very shocked when he saw you fence for the first time. I mean you completely destroyed our women's team." Renjun, shocked with me? No way. I let out a sigh. "I just really don't get him sometimes," I say. "One minute he's all nice and smiles, and the next, he doesn't talk to you and becomes so cold towards everyone." "Yup, that's Renjun for you," Justin says. "However, that usually means that something's really bothering him." I nod my head while listening to Justin. I mean I guess that makes sense. But what if I try to reach out to him? Won't he just shut me down and ignore me again? As if he heard my question, Justin says, "However, I think you may be able to open him up." After a few more minutes of enjoying the view, we go back inside.
As we walk back inside, my team sees me and Julia immediately runs up to me. "Girl, what the hell? Where were you?" "Sorry," I say, "I was just getting some air. I wasn't thinking straight." "Are you okay Aria," Minnie asks. I nod my head as a yes and tell them not to worry. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Renjun sitting on a bench near the corner, looking at us. "Well hopefully you and Justin are cool with this, but Coach Lay ordered some food for us to eat here," Mark says. I nod my head as a yes. I'm actually really hungry right now to be honest. After waiting for about 20 minutes, the food finally arrives.
After we all finish eating, we get bored, until Haechan suggests that we all play a game. The boys from Renjun's team decide to join in as well. We play truth or dare, and go around the circle until Renjun's turn comes up. It's Justin's turn to give him either a truth or dare. "Dare," Renjun says. Everybody starts to get hyped up. Justin clears his throat and says something that made me almost choke on my tea. "I dare you to stay in the locker room with Aria for 20 minutes." Renjun looks at Justin, with what looks like a "what the hell" look, looks back at me, and then stands up and heads to the locker rooms. "Go on," Julia says with a smile. I roll my eyes and make my way over to the locker rooms.
I close the door behind me, and Renjun and I sit in absolute silence. Should I ask him if he's alright? Should I ask about classes? What about fencing? Is he mad at me? I had so many thoughts go through my head until Renjun interrupted the silence. "I'm not mad at you." I look over at him. His arms are on his knees and he's looking at me. "What?" I say. "I can read your body language and your face," he says. "I can tell that you're trying to ask me if I'm mad at you, but I'm not." I nod my head and look away until I ask a question. "Then why have you been ignoring me?" I ask. He looks at me with a blank look on his face. "Why do you barely talk to me anymore? I keep asking myself, did I do something wrong? What happened to the boy that would always smile at me, who would always talk to me?" I look at him for a response, but get nothing. Renjun lets in a deep sigh and looks at me again. "I'm just frustrated. Frustrated that I didn't comfort your first. Frustrated that I didn't approach you first. Frustrated that I didn't get to you first." What, the hell?? What's that supposed to mean? I was so confused, and I look to him for a longer explanation. He sighs again and says, "I saw you kiss Mark that day when we had to fence Jack's school." Ohhhhhh. Wait what?! I didn't even know what to say. "Renjun look," I say. "That kiss confirmed that it didn't mean anything except for friendship." Renjun gives me a confused look. "Mark was just trying to comfort me, and after that kiss, I knew that I didn't like him more than a friend. I swear." Renjun's face softens a bit, but still looks unsure. We sit in silence again until I speak again. "I was just scared that you hated me."
"I could never hate you, I just don't know what to do around you. I guess that, I dunno, I get nervous around you..."
What, Renjun gets nervous around me??? "It's just that," he starts, "ever since I first saw you fence, I was so impressed. You were so good and you were so talented. When we both transferred to Neo High School, I immediately recognized you. I was scared that if I talked to you too much, I would come off as annoying, or impulsive, and that wasn't something I wanted." He takes in another deep breath.
"I got to know you better, and...I really like you."
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YOU ARE READING
A Bout for Two // NCT Renjun
Fanfiction"You know, I never hated you, I was just scared that you hated me." "I could never hate you, I just don't know what to do around you. I guess that, I dunno, I get nervous around you..." . . Renjun Fencing AU coming soon!