𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐀 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐀

So This Is Goodbye

Last night was incredible. We had never connected like that before. Everything we had ever disagreed on has been put to peace, everything we have ever wanted to declare to each other has been declared and now were just, well in love. I've never been so in love. I don't even know what love means, but i know it's the way I feel for Damiano. We're still cherishing every last moment. We stayed up till 3am, despite getting up at 6am. It's 7am now and I just can't believe he's about to go. What am I going to do with myself for all this time? I'm going to miss him so much. I can't even describe how I'm feeling and he hasn't even left yet.

I'm sat on his sofa, I'm watching him run up and down the stairs, carrying piles of clothes, shoes, all sorts. I've offered my help so many times but he's told me I should just 'relax'. I don't know what to do, I don't want to watch Tv, I don't want to go eat, I just want to sit here. I wish I was distracted from this pain but at the same time I just want to sit here listening to my thoughts whirl round my mind.

"Ok, well I'm all ready to go" Damiano says, as he stands his suitcase up next to the front door. He looks just as sad as I am feeling.

"I don't want you go" I admit, already wanting to cry, knowing that within a little while, I'll be here all alone. By myself.

He walks over to me, he looks more sad now. His eyes look teary. He takes my hands in his after tucking some hair behind my ear.

"I'm usually excited for tour and I mean so excited. And I am, excited for the tour but really, deep down in my heart, all I want is to be here... with you. I'm going to miss you so much Lena" he tells me, his voice failing to hide his emotion. I love it when he shortens my name to that.

"You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you, Damiano. Will I see you in between dates or will it be the full 6 months without you?" I ask, in slight fear of the answer.

"It's unlikely I'll be able to travel back in between, but if I can I really will. As much as I can. I don't care if it costs a lot, I don't care if I'm tired, I will try everything I can to bring us together. I don't think I can go 6 months without you now..." He admits, leaning forward kissing my forehead, his arms wrapped around my waist tightly. "I don't want to loose you again. I've gone too long without you, it feels like it's happening again"

"Damiano, we will get through this. I love you. As long as we both remember those three words, we will be ok. I promise you" I reassure him, putting my hands up on his shoulders, comforting him.

"I just don't know what I'll do without seeing you everyday"

"Neither to I" I tell him. I really am trying to stay calm. It's hard. "We're going to FaceTime and call every single day, many times. Then we can always talk" I tell him. I could really cry right now. In fact, how am I not crying? Im sure I will be very soon anyway.

"Yes, I really am going to call you whenever I can, even if I can only call for a minute. I will make that time for you, I really will" He says, leaning back into my body, holding me closely.

We share a hug for a while. Neither of us talk, instead we just take it all in, the pain, the emotion of being separated once more.

Then the time finally comes. A car horn is beeped from the driveway outside. I try to back away, but Damiano only holds onto me tighter.

"I don't want to leave you here alone" he says, beginning to cry.

Then I start to cry. I saw it coming. I sniffle, trying to get the right words out.

"I don't want you to leave" I cry, no longer able to stay strong.

Damiano's phone starts to ping. It's Thomas.

'Damiano!!! Come on, we're in the car outside! We need to get going' It reads.

"I better go" he says, despite still holding on to my body.

The car beeps again. We finally part our bodies. My god, this is difficult. I didn't expect it to be any easier, but wow, this is almost as hard as breaking up with him, and that's saying something.

He walks over to the door. I'm frozen for a second before I finally join him, opening the door for him.

"Mi amore, please just know now, before i go. I would never hurt you, so if anything ever is released about me, ignore it. I love you, like I've never loved anyone before"

"And I love you" I say, leaning in kissing him passionately one more time. I hold the sides of his cheeks as I pull him in for a rather tight kiss.

"Goodbye, I'll see you soon. I promise, I'll find a way" he tells me, as he picks up his things and begins to walk out the door. "I've got to go before it gets any harder" He says, wiping a tear off his cheek.

"I love you!" I call out him, the pain clearly shown in my voice.

"I love you so much, bambina" He says, sobbing as he does.

He gets in the car, taking a look back at me as he does. I stare at him as he gets in with the band, they all look over to wave at me. But i can only focus on Damiano. He's sat next to them, his arm resting on the car door. He puts his hood up, I know he's crying when he does that.

I smile at the band, drying my tears with my corner of my t-shirt.

"Bye, Marlena!" Ethan calls out the window. I know Damiano will be fine with them. He will be fine tomorrow. I hope. I hope I will be too.

The car starts to move, Damiano looks at me, making strong eye contact, as he begins to drive down the road.

Our eyes are joined, until we physically can't look at each other anymore. And there he goes. Now he's only a tiny dot in the distance