The Stars and Us [ by Midnight-Drawz ]

Chapter Eleven: Doubts

[ Posted on July 14th, 2021 ]

"...are you sure..?" Ink mumbled, unsure as he stood in front of Error, who had opened a portal for them. They both had discussed the option of speaking with Sci, of talking over the idea of finding some way to help bring Ink's memories back.

Sometimes Ink didn't want that.

He adjusted the sleeves that were having low below his wrists, fidgeting with his hands idly as Error sighed. " Yes... if there's any chance... I want to bring your memories back..." The glitch said.

Ink gripped his hands together a bit- no one really thought over his feelings on the matter. It was usually just all about getting his memories back... He knew it probably wasn't a common thought- Since he doubted anyone would want to lose their memories and have it stay that way. But the more he saw, the less he wanted. Ink could tell he- or, well, his pre-amnesiac self has gotten involved with many different things... it felt overwhelming..

"...fine..." Ink mumbled, sighing quietly.

Error looked over at the artist, narrowing his sockets a bit, the multi-colored eyelights flickering slightly as he blinked, soon going to speak, adjusting the scarf around his neck, " Ink... are you okay...?"

" I'm fine..." The shorter responded, looking away as he thought more on the matter.

" No you aren't, you're lying..."

" Error, I'm okay, let's just go to S-"

" No, don't do that with me. I know you well enough to know that you can't hold eye contact when you're upset and hiding it... please..." He said, glitching a bit as he stepped forward, leaning a bit to try and get Ink to look at him.

" Look, can you just screw off. Let's go talk to Sci, let's get this over with and see if we have a way to get my memories back-" Ink was getting frustrated. He didn't want to upset Error by telling him the truth, going towards the portal. Error caught him by the arm and pulled him back, gently yet slightly short-tempered.

" No, Ink, talk to me. Stop hiding." He said, and Ink released a frustrated noise, trying to get free of his grip, " What's wrong-?" He repeated, raising his voice a bit.

Ink managed to get his arm free, releasing a noise again, " I'm not in a hurry to get my memories back, okay?! " He shouted, quickly covering his mouth, glancing over at Error, " Look, I don't-..." He may as well explain, " The more I see... the more I learn about myself... the less I want to go back to that... I don't know who I was outside of how you all describe me, but what I've seen, I-... I can't believe you..." He said.

Error was silent a moment, thinking it over before he sighed, " You did a lot of bad stuff back then. Maybe in the shadows, who knows... But I know you... and I know you're hesitant, but if we do get them back, then maybe you can make up for that...?"

" Error, I want things to stay like this! I like spending time with you, I like being with you! You're great, Dream is great, Blue is great, Nightmare is... tolerable- But it doesn't matter! All of that is meaningful, do I really have to go back to being whatever the hell I used to be?!" He asked, desperate as he looked to Error with that same emotion in his eyes.

" Ink...-"

" No! You know what, no! I'm tired of everyone else wanting to get my memories, but what about me?! What about what I want?!" Ink said, at a small distance from Error as his breathing seemed to pick up in speed, " It's all about those stupid memories! Why? Is current me not enough for all of you?! I'm happy like this, I'm happy being me!" He said, " I just-" Ink choked back his tears a moment before they gushed from his eyes and slowly dribbled down his face. He was crying. " I don't want to lose myself when I get those memories back..." He said, " I don't-... I don't want to hurt any of you... you deserve so much more..." He didn't really notice he was crying until that moment, laughing and wiping his eyes, " And n-now I'm crying- Stars, I'm so sorry, Error, y-you're probably sick of m-me-" He stuttered, sobbing quietly.

The glitch was silent throughout this, watching the artist cry and wipe his eyes desperately to stop them. If there was one thing Error learned, it was that cooping it up never helped. Error took a breath before going over to his friend, wrapping his arms around him and wiping his eyes himself, " Let it out..." He said, "...let it all out, Squid..." Error held him close, feeling the artist give in and lean into him, clinging to him as he sobbed into his chest, trembling. The glitch holding him rubbed the back of his skull, forgiving every apology that escaped the hurting artist in his arms. " No matter what happens... you will never lose yourself... Your memories don't change who you are, and if you really believe this is your 'better self' then recover your memories and prove it.. Decide to yourself who you are..." He said, continuing to rub his back gently.

It was ironic, really.

The one with no soul, who supposedly had no emotions, was the one crying into the chest of the 'heartless destroyer'... Opposites really did attract, after all.

About ten or so minutes passed before the artist calmed down. He pulled back when he did, and Error beat him to wiping his eyes, flicking the top of his skull playfully, causing Ink to make a noise before snorting and laughing, " Hey-!" He said, shoving the glitch in the side, causing Error to stumble a bit but laugh slightly afterwards, " We were having a moment-!" He said, laughing a bit as Error smiled a bit from under the scarf.

" A smile suits you better then a frown, Glitchy-"

' Oh, Ink... You have no idea the difference it makes when it comes to you...' Error thought to himself, his cheeks brightening as he admired the other during his laugh, though soon snapped out of it, clearing his nonexistent throat.

" So, where to, Squid...?" He asked, the now cheered up, yet puffy-eyed, skeleton in front of him smiling.

"...I think I'm ready to see Sci..."

" Alright..." Error reopened the portal, "...there's no pressure here, Ink... you don't have to do this if you don't want to..." He noted, and the other nodded.

" I know... I know that now.. let's go. I want to decide for myself who I am... Just like you said.."

Error smiled a bit at that, " Then let's go make sure you can do that, alright...?"

Ink nodded, a more determined look in his face, " Last one there's a babybones-" He joked, running through the portal, snickering as Error shouted in protest, chasing him through.