DEVILS WILL CRY

The Bishop

"So this is where your other bishop is?"
"That's right. Last night, my brother insisted for me to release the seal and allow the bishop to leave this area"
"Seal? That's just a lock, I can break it!"
"Y/n don't!"

As I drop kicked the lock, I was sent flying by a red seal, which was invisible until that point. After crashing through three walls, I got up, and made my way back to the others

"So how do you break a seal again?"
"Like this"

Rias raised her hand to the seal, and upon touching it, it shattered into red shards, leaving the door unprotected

"Shall I get the fireworks so I can fill the chaos meter for today?"
"Absolutely not"
"You need to let loose more. You're so boring"

As Rias reached for the door, I was quick to kick it open. Regrettably, I wasn't able to blast All Star due to the quick timing and lack of a speaker, however, I feel the kick was enough.

"Y/n!"
"Sorry, old habits"

Inside, we saw nothing but darkness, and so, I went in. After a short search, I came back out carrying the bishop by their collar

"Congratulations, you've got a bouncing baby dhampir in your peerage"

As the half vampire tried to get away, I finally gave in and placed them on the ground. Not too roughly, I wasn't that mean, but I didn't treat them like a baby.

"Woah! Are all bishops cute blonde haired girls like Asia?!"

It was at this point where I realised there were two options.

I could let the pervert know of the 'girls' lack of a second X chromosome, Or I could let him figure it out himself.

So I went with the latter. Because it was funny.

"Issei, you do know that-"
"It's a dhampir. A half vampire"
"Yes, and also-"
"A computer nerd by the looks of it"
"Yeah, but-"
"She's not too used to people, since by the looks of it, she's got a sacred gear strong enough to require sealing away"

Kiba gave me a strange look, like he hadn't figured out what I was doing. But after I gave him one of my "trust me, it's gonna be great" looks, he went along with it.

"The child is a boy"
"You really don't know how to have fun, do you Rias?"
"Wait, what did she say?"
"It's a trap"

Needless to say, there was a bit of screaming. Though personally I would have liked to have waited longer to really shock him. But the fun had to end too soon.

"Everyone, say hello to Gasper Vladi, my other bishop"
"Gaspering on deez nuts!"
"Oh for... Can you at least try to take this seriously?"
"I mean, I am, but it's just way too easy. It's like leaving chocolate on a table and not expecting someone to eat it"
"He's got a point" Koneko agreed

"Anyway, he's a first year student, and before I turned him into a devil, he was half human, and half vampire, like Y/n said"
"Wait, so vampires are actually real then?" Seras said from the back of the crowd.
"Aren't you a vampire?" Gasper said as he turned around
"No, I'm a demon, right? I have been getting sunburnt easily, but that's just a demon thing right?" Seras turned to me, but all I could do is shrug
"I've been a demon my whole life and I've been to Spain about three times. Not a single burn"
"Wait, so I am a vampire?!"

"Personally, I have no clue what's going on anymore. This demon shit is confusing"
"Can't you just talk to your bird?"
"Bird?"
"Yeah, the one that looks like one of those old aliens from the predator movies?"

As Seras proceeded to mimic a predators mandibles with her fingers, I finally realised who she was talking about.

"Oh! Griffon!"
"Yeah, that's the one! Why don't you ask him?"
"Plot reasons"
"Why did I even bother asking?"
"Because the writer dictated it"