Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the mansion, not a devil was stirring, not one that I can mention.
The fire was dying, and in bed they were all lying, but in the moonlight, I was given such a fright!
On the rooftop above arose such a clutter, I sprung from my bed to see what's the matter!
Up the stairs and onto the snowy tile, I saw a sight that really was quite vile.
"Before you start"
"What the fuck did you do?!"
"Before. You. Start!"
"Oh my Satan"
"Would you care to hear my side of the story?!"
"Oh yes, Y/n. Go ahead and explain why Santa is lying on the ground with twenty bullet holes in his chest!"
"Twenty eight! And he startled me"
"He startled you?!"
"Hey, I was just lying on the roof, and then some red motherfucker came up behind me, I was startled!"
"You did this on purpose, didn't you? You planned this since the skin balloon!"
"Oh you just won't let that go will you? I said I was sorry! Why don't you just trust me?"
"Master, the sleigh has been secured. However, the reindeer are feisty"
"I knew it!"
Over the roof came an android cloaked in red, only covered by the hat on her head, and a Christmas cloak as she tread.
Behind her walked a vampiress, who too was scantily dressed. In a costume of an elf as the cold threatened her health.
"Okay, cool, the pussy wagon is secure. Now onto step two!"
From the cold corpse, he pulled of the coat, and into the air the reindeers did float.
"Time to save Christmas" he said with glee "Come on you two, you're coming with me!"
Before he set off, he searched through the sack, and what he found made him turn back.
"We're the last ones?" He said disappointed, "well fuck"
"Was it worth it then? Killing Santa for this?"
"Killed me? You must be taking the piss!"
The jolly man stood on two feet, and the devils made a slight retreat.
"I break into every house, once every year, do you think you could end my cheer?"
"I guess this means no presents" Y/n said, looking down.
"If you didn't deserve them, why'd I come to town?"
From his sack, he pulled out a box, with a ribbon and a bow, tied up like fort Knox.
"How does he get a gift after all of this?!"
"He had good intentions, and he looked after you kids"
"But he shot you!"
"Yes, that much is true. But he rounded up my reindeer too!"
"He was going to steal your sleigh to use it to get girls!"
"What do you think I do for the rest of the year? Let it collect dust?"
"Jesus Christ Santa's a pervert"
We took the gifts, and under the tree, we placed them all, and went to bed with glee.
When the sun finally dawned on a new Christmas day, my peerage arose, and had much to say.
"You met Santa?"
"Yep, where do you think we got the extra gifts?"
"There's no need to lie about some last minute shopping" Akeno said as she picked up a gift
*Bzzz*
"Yeah thats exactly what I expected"
With their presents finally opened and their gifts revealed, the dinner was served, it was a wonderful meal. Sausages, pizzas, and snacks galore, it was a brilliant buffet, of that I was sure
However, a question arose from the many mouths, a whisper, a question, then an all out debate
"Why are we celebrating Christmas when we've only just done spring cleaning?"
"That's a good question. Why are we doing it now, Y/n?"
YOU ARE READING
DEVILS WILL CRY
أدب الهواةY/n was a normal high school student. Average grades, antisocial, human. That was, until he walks into the wrong building at the right time, and was attacked by a stray devil
