DEVILS WILL CRY

The Return of the Wacky Woohoo Pizza Man

After I cleaned up the hall using my bullshit demon magic, we were going to leave the hall, but before we could, the doors opened revealing two figures

"Why do I hear boss music?"

Two men walked into the hall, one wearing red, the other wore blue,both with white hair and combat ready clothes

Of course, just seeing them I knew who they were. The one in blue was Vergil, the Dark Slayer who wielded the Yamato.

The other, of course, was my father, Dante. The pizza eating, badass son of a Chad.

To say the least, I knew my priorities.

"Where the fuck is my child support?"
"Aren't you super rich?"
"Shut up Issei"

"So this is your son. He's as powerful as Nero"
"As powerful? I think he's a bit past that"

The two cambions looked around at the damage caused by Y/n, before looking over to the boy

"So, how're you doing kid?" He asked awkwardly
"Pretty good, I've got a train"
"I've got a bike"
"So have I"

"You wanna race?"
"Let's fucking go!"

"Hold it!" Rias shouted

"What?"
"You can't just leave, it's open house!"
"Yeah, you're right. We should wait until tonight, there's this brilliant bridge that I put like two million dollars worth into fixing"
"Sounds good. So, how about a tour of the school?"
"There's not much to see, but sure"

We went on a quick stroll, but soon enough, we ran into someone

"Ah, Rias, I was wondering where you were. And you must be Y/n, correct?"
"Yeah, that's me. This is my dad Dante, and my uncle, Virgil"
"The sons of Sparda? It's an honour to meet you both"
"You must be Lord Gremory, the feeling is mutual" Vergil said as he faced the lord
"So who is this guy?"
"He's the dad of Rias"
"Who?"
"My devil girlfriend" I said, pointing towards the red head
"She's a devil?"
"She doesn't look like one, does she?"
"I would expect a devil to be more agile" Vergil stated
"Hey!"
"Alright we should probably stop before she disintegrates us"
"Yeah good idea"

After we stopped teasing Rias, we invited Lord Gremory and Sirzechs to Home Base. Needless to say, we got drinking pretty quick

"This is nice. Back in hades, no one would dare to treat a guest as an equal"
"Hades? Is that where you're from?"
"Yes, its-"
"A city in Europe, right?"

Oh right, Issei's parents came along too, which was a bit problematic.

"So, Y/n, why do you have so many women living with you?" Issei's dad asked
"He-!" Before Issei could say something along the lines of 'he's got a harem with them' I interrupted
"They're paying rent. Since their boss got involved with some shady shit, they've been needing somewhere to stay while they find another job, so they've been staying here for a while. It helps me pay for food and the bills"
"Do you even get bills this far from the town?" My father asked as he ate a slice of pizza
"Well, not from the town, but I buy a lot of things. Mainly swords, I'm a big fan of those"
"I can see! You got quite the collection" Issei's dad said as he looked over to my collection, which, unfortunately, didn't have any Excaliburs.

I took another sip of my cider as the adults went through the videos they took of Issei and Rias.

"This sucks" Issei said as he watched a video of himself
"I'm just glad no one got a video of me"

As I said that, the clip of Issei's sculpture exploding showed on my TV. With me in view snapping my fingers

"That was you?!" He shouted as he jumped at me "That was my masterpiece!"
"That was my girlfriend you fuck!" I pushed him off, before looking over to my cider, which had spilled over the floor "Son of a bitch. You're getting a towel for that before it stains"

Issei grumpily got up, before leaving the room in search of a towel

"You really did that in class?" Koneko asked as she saw the video
"Of course I did. I wasn't gonna let him perv on one of my lovers"
"It's a shame you didn't do it to him instead"
"Well, I think I may have been investigated if that happened. Heads don't usually explode on command"

"The way I see it, it's a father's duty to embarrass his daughter at school"

I looked over to the adults again, this time seeing a video of Rias in class. However, while everyone else seemed happy, Rias didn't look pleased at all.

"I'm going to my room!"

She ran off upstairs, slamming the door behind her just as Issei walked back in

"What'd I miss?"
"Embarrassing videos. The worst thing a girl can experience. Can you clean it up while I go talk to her?"
"Sure man, no problem"
"Thanks. Back in a bit kitten" I said as I gave Koneko a quick kiss.

I then made my way upstairs, before finding the crimson princess curled up by a door in a dark hall

I sat down next to her, before reaching over and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"You wanna talk about it in my room?"

She got up, and made her way down the hall without saying anything. I followed her, but as soon as she entered my room, she collapsed on my bed and buried her face in the pillows.

"Look, Rias. I know you're embarrassed about you dad and your brother, they are being arseholes. But it's not that bad, I mean, they're getting along great with my dad and Issei's parents"
"No, I know it's not" she admitted "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Are you happy you met me?"
"Well, let's go through the negatives. I threw away my humanity, I'm hated by the church, and my first friend/girlfriend still won't talk to me"
"..."
"But, on the positives, I stopped being awkward and made some friends, I got my own mansion, my own train, I threw away my virginity, and I learned that there's actually something special about me. But..."
"But?"
"It's nothing. I just keep getting a weird feeling"

Before I could say anything else, I was pulled into a kiss. It was... Nice. A much more calming way of ending the conversation.

"I knew it! You're always with him!"

I may have been wrong.

"Jesus Fuck!"

Because of my shock, I accidentally invaded Cuba, and by that, I mean I jumped out of the window.