A Sensitive Arrangement

Chapter 26

The week passed in a blur. I had never been so grateful for school in my life. It gave me the structure I needed to keep going. Otherwise, I'm not sure I would have even been able to get up and get dressed. 

Julian's sweatshirt had been moved from its place in my closet to a box under my bed. I had successfully been able to resist its temptation so far. But I couldn't deny it brought some sort of inner comfort to know it was there, always in reach, just in case I needed it.

Being back in school was strange. Christmas break hadn't even lasted two weeks. But somehow it felt like an entire lifetime had occurred in that brief period. Julian and I had gone from contractually someday, to consensually soon, to realistically maybe never. It was a lot to process.

Luckily I had Luke. We'd been texting almost non-stop all week. I hadn't told him anything about what had happened on New Year's Eve yet. I figured I should probably mention something about the kiss with Ava. It's not like he and I were anything official. But I guess honesty is always the best policy. If only I could be honest about Julian. But hopefully, I would never need to be. Julian was in the past, for now anyway.

I had made up my mind. If Luke asked me to be his girlfriend, I would say yes. It's not like I would even see Julian for another year. And by then, who knows what will have happened.

I wasn't going to shut down. I wasn't going to feel numb. I wasn't going to let the loss of one 'what if' stand in the way of all the other possibilities. Or at least, I was going to try my hardest not to.

On Saturday morning, I hopped out of bed with a renewed sense of hope and purpose. Luke was picking me up for our volunteer shift in an hour. And then we were going bowling. It wasn't exactly the most creative date in the world, but it was the best I could come up with.

I rushed through my morning routine, throwing the outfit Olivia had spent hours deliberating on into a bag. It would probably be a bit wrinkled by the time I put it on. Oh well, what Olivia didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

The dining room table was filled with the usual Saturday breakfast spread. This time I happily loaded my plate up with some pancakes and eggs.

"You seem chipper." Ella observed with raised, knowing eyebrows.

"I get to spend the day with puppies. Wouldn't you be?" I shrugged, knowing Ella would leave well enough alone.

"And one of those puppies is named Luke." I heard Olivia's cheeky tone from behind my shoulder.

"Since when do you wake up before noon on Saturdays?" I was genuinely gobsmacked to see her not only awake, but showered, dressed, and looking like her usual flawless self.

"Since my best friend has a hot date." She remarked as if it were obvious.

"So you needed to dress up?" I asked, still unsure of what could possibly be so noteworthy that she had actually pried herself away from her regular twelve hours of beauty sleep.

"First impressions are important." She smiled sweetly, and I could feel the panic take over.

"First impressions of what?" I didn't like where this was going.

"Of your new boyfriend obviously. Or rather his first impression of me." She was acting as if there was some sort of plan for them to meet. When I was absolutely not aware of any such plan. And then the doorbell rang.

"Please tell me that's not him. He was supposed to text me when he got here." I groaned.

"Yeah well plans change." She shrugged it off as if she hadn't just schemed with my... whatever Luke was to me, behind my back.