Harriet's Arrangement

"I've got you now."

She didn't look up at Tom as she started to speak, but she started at the beginning. She started with the scheduling mistake, and the first spanking, and the way she hadn't had any idea what to do or whether she could or should say anything, or if she'd even wanted to. She told him everything: the straps, the paddle, the belt, the cane, the corner time, the punishment desk. She told him of the threats Malcolm held over her if she was to ever tell anyone, or the things he would tell people that would put her job in danger, and simply the knowledge that he could fire her in a heartbeat if he wanted to. She told him how he touched her, how he teased her and made her sob as he threatened to make her come, how once or twice he had actually followed through on the threat, how ashamed and humiliated and small it made her feel, and how he punished her for not wanting him and how even then she felt guilty, and confused.

"And the cane... oh, I don't really know how to explain it," she wasn't sure why she was going into this much detail, but now she was talking, she had to just get it all off her chest. The very fact that he hadn't balked as she'd begun, that he seemed to be taking it all in his stride made her think that maybe if she explained it right he might get it, "It was simultaneously the most awful and most wonderful thing. I felt so empowered once I'd found that rhythm, even though it hurt like hell... and I really thought things might have changed... but he just... nothing changed."

Tom listened, and held her, and wiped her tears away, and when she finished and just sat with yet more tears rolling down her cheeks, he pulled her close. "I'm sorry, Hattie," he whispered.

They sat in silence for a while until Tom decided to speak up. "Harriet," he said, quietly, "I don't know how much you know about BDSM or Dom-Sub relationships... but this isn't how they're supposed to work. Consent and trust are the most important parts of any relationship, and well-functioning BDSM relationships are no different."

She looked up at him, shocked. "You... you think..."

"You've just described an entirely involuntary – on your part – dominant-submissive relationship," he said quietly, "You've been forced into submission through threats and effectively blackmail. The man sounds completely sadistic. That isn't how these things are supposed to work. Of course, it's possible to have the dominant-submissive part of these relationships without the sexual part – and honestly, sometimes they're completely separate. And if it had continued how you'd described it in the beginning, I think you'd be in a different place. But he's abusing his position of power and your willingness, or your need, to submit. And that's the worst thing any dominant can do."

"Do you... are you...?" she wasn't sure how to frame the question, but her curiosity was piqued and he could tell.

"Yes," he said, carefully, avoiding answering the question, "And from what you're saying, Hattie, I think submission suits you – but the confusion you feel around that in this instance is completely understandable. The little respect that Malcolm was treating you with has gone completely; you have no real control, and you know the consequences are very real if you don't do as he says – you have no choice but to submit, and there's no real reward for doing so, other than the odd smile or kind word – but ultimately, the only reward is him not making good on his outrageous threats."

"Reward?"

"Discipline is fine," he said, trying to find the right way to explain, "It's good, it's healthy – and in these sorts of relationships, be it sexual or otherwise, it keeps the balance. But once a submissive has been disciplined, her dominant must show her love and respect – aftercare restores the balance, and shows her that she is forgiven. With no aftercare, and if it is simply the promise of more discipline – even if on some level, as I can see, you enjoy that discipline – that is all that keeps things going, then that creates an enormously unhealthy environment full of fear ... and submission for all the wrong reasons."