Harriet's Arrangement

Jennifer's Story

Harriet tried very hard not to react in any negative way to this announcement from Jennifer, but inside, her head was screaming that this was too big, too complicated a problem for her to be able to solve. Jennifer was still looking imploringly into her eyes, willing her it seemed to tell her what she needed to do. She swallowed. She needed to say something.

"Oh, Jennifer," she whispered, "I'm so sorry he made you go through that before."

Tom had stood, cautiously, but purposefully, and Harriet looked over at him, hoping he might have some idea of where to take this. He crouched down next to Harriet, looking up at Jennifer. "Jennifer, listen to me" he said, in a voice that was gentle, but carried enough authority to encourage Jennifer to look at him, "You've been very, very brave telling us this today. And I'm going to echo Harriet's commitment to helping you. But you need to understand how dangerous that could be for Harriet, and that if we need to do things a certain way, that will be why. Do you understand?"

Jennifer nodded.

"How would you like to handle this?" he asked, "If it was completely up to you, what would you do next?"

Jennifer kept her eyes on his, and Harriet sat quietly watching the two of them, feeling a twinge of something as she was reminded very slightly of the first night she and Tom had spent together – his gentle tone, the one that made her feel like she could bare her soul to him and he would take it and protect it and keep her safe always. Without breaking eye contact with Jennifer, Tom subtly put a hand on Harriet's knee, and she linked her fingers through his, swallowing any hint of jealousy that had been trying to rear its head – he knew that watching him do this with someone else would be hard for her, she thought to herself. And the jealousy immediately dissipated into awe as suddenly all she could do was once again admire the way he was handling the situation.

"I would keep the baby," Jennifer whispered.

"What about Malcolm?" Tom asked, gently.

She was silent for a moment. "If he could change... then I'd keep the side of him that adores me and looks after me."

Tom nodded his understanding, and waited, feeling that she wasn't finished.

"But..." Jennifer went on, "He won't change. I will never be free of the side of him that needs to dominate, control, hurt. It's so strong that I know I'm not enough for him. I've never been enough for him. But... but he loves me, and I don't think he loves the others. Not in the same way at least."

"The others?" Tom asked gently, as Harriet's heart plummeted.

Jennifer looked stricken. "Harriet... Harriet wasn't the only one," she whispered, deliberately it seemed to Harriet not looking in her direction, "But she was the only one who he made to come back so many times."

Tom nodded again, soaking in the information with seemingly no reaction. Harriet felt like there was something roaring in her head, and she felt Tom's hand on her knee tighten a fraction, encouraging her to come back to herself. "Do you want to stay with Malcolm?"

It was a big question that Tom had chosen to ask, and Harriet caught her breath, watching for Jennifer's reaction. A painful look flashed across her face, and she did drop her gaze at this point. "I... I don't think I can," she said, in a voice that was breaking with tears once more, "I can't keep going like this. And I can't lose another pregnancy."

Harriet moved her hand back to Jennifer's, and this time she gripped it, tightly. "I'm sorry, for everything he did to you," Jennifer whispered, "When I say I know what it's like, you must trust me."

Harriet said nothing, just squeezed the tearful woman's hand tightly. After a minute or so she looked up, at Harriet this time, rather than Tom. "I think we could press charges, if we went for him together," Jennifer said, in a voice that was much steadier than Harriet had been expecting, "And that's the other reason I wanted to see you. I don't know how else I will manage to leave."