Harriet's Arrangement

The Wedding

Harriet padded slowly back down the corridor, heart thudding, half-expecting to meet Malcolm coming the other way at any moment. She wasn't sure if she'd succeeded in making anything better at all. Would Jennifer now immediately make Malcolm aware of what Harriet had just done? Or would she never hear from her again? What would happen if Malcolm found out that Harriet had spoken to his wife? His wife. She still couldn't quite comprehend that part. Her head kept spinning back to Thursday evenings, imagining Jennifer sitting upstairs, forbidden to leave the bedroom perhaps, hearing sounds from downstairs, knowing exactly what was happening. Or perhaps having no idea what was happening, but wondering, tormenting herself with images of what those noises might be translating into. And Harriet thought of the times that she'd sobbed, or screamed even. Had she heard all of that?

Her jumbled thoughts carried her back down the soft carpeted stairs and almost straight into Eva and Lily, who were hovering anxiously waiting for her to reappear. She gave herself a little shake, threading her fingers through Eva's as her friend reached out a hand to her. She shrugged a little. "I tried," she said, quietly.

"Did she let you speak to her?" Lily asked.

"No, but I told her where she could find me if she needs to," Harriet said, sighing, "She knew, I think, who I was."

Eva squeezed her hand. "You did the right thing, Hattie," she said, as they all moved away from the foyer, Harriet aware that either Jennifer or Malcolm would likely appear at any moment.

"I know," Harriet said, "Lils –"

"Shush, you," Lily said, linking her arm through Harriet's and steering her back into the bar, "I'm buying you a stiff drink, you look like you need one."

Harriet smiled. "And then this is all going away so we can get back to the actual reason we're here."

She meant it, and as Lily handed her a vodka and tonic ("Mostly vodka, Hattie, be careful," she warned as she passed it over, laughing), she did everything she could to bring her focus right back to the wedding, and the evening ahead of them. She'd tell Tom about it tomorrow, and deal with everything else another day: Malcolm wasn't taking this away from her.

Eva seemed to understand the way Harriet's mind kept threatening to slip out of the present moment, though, frequently linking her fingers back through Harriet's in a way that was so reassuring that it reminded Harriet of Tom, which made her wish he would be waiting for her when she got into bed. Conversation was light, full of excitement and anticipation for the following day. Lily's mum was giggly and Harriet was sure she'd never seen her this happy. The joy from this little family was tangible and contagious, and at times Harriet felt she didn't even need to try to laugh or smile along with everyone else.

Lily bid everyone goodnight and Eva and Harriet walked her to her room. The three embraced. "You're getting married tomorrow, Lils," Eva whispered, "I'm so fucking happy for you."

Lily laughed through a sudden wave of tears. "I'm so fucking happy I get to share it all with you two."

"We're so honoured to be here with you, Lils," Harriet said, also biting back tears.

"That was far too polite, Hattie," Eva said, laughing.

"Sorry," Harriet said, laughing too, "I'm so fucking happy to be here with you guys."

They hugged again, and Lily pulled away. "I need sleep," she said, "See you at 6!"

Eva groaned, but it was (mostly) in jest. "Love you, Lils. Sleep well." She pecked her friend on the cheek and Harriet did the same, suddenly remembering the card that Adam had given her for Lily, and tugging it out of her handbag.