Harriet's Arrangement

The beginnings of a new world

By the time Harriet went home that evening, she felt as though she was on the edge of a whole new world. She was seeing everything through new eyes, and suddenly even just knowing that there was someone she could call when Malcolm was done with her made all the difference. They had talked about anything and everything: family, friends, university, travel aspirations. They'd circled back to Tom's novel; she'd admitted how heartbreaking she was finding it that she hadn't written anything for so long. She told him how disconnected she had started to feel from her two closest friends, her inability to share the thing that was affecting her life the most at the moment making conversation difficult whenever it strayed towards her. He sympathised: he shared how he and his brother had drifted apart when his brother had gone through what ultimately led to a difficult divorce.

"You'll get back on track with the girls," he had assured her, "And you'll share this with them when you're ready to. My brother and I are fine now: we were so close when we were kids, it was impossible that we wouldn't eventually. And I reckon planning a wedding with one of your best friends gives you a great excuse for not burdening them with anything else."

They hadn't spoken much more about Malcolm, nor specifically about how she would end the arrangement, but she came home knowing for certain that she would – even though she also knew it would take time. You can't rush it, Tom had said on the one occasion they had briefly touched on the subject, I know you're desperate to get out, but he sounds dangerous: you need to be careful.

And she knew he was right. Malcolm was dangerous: he'd shown her that much. And as she sank onto the sofa and kicked off her shoes (which incidentally, she had discovered were not the best shoes to spend hours wandering around London in, even if they could manage a night out), some of the safety blanket she had felt when Tom had been with her began to seep away, and Malcolm's warning about his presence at the upcoming conference came back to her.

She took a breath and tried to distract herself by sending Tom a text to thank him, again, for everything he'd said and done. He replied seconds later: *Anytime. I mean that. You have me now x*

And as she peeled her dress and underwear off and stepped under a warm shower, she filled her head with thoughts of how his hand felt in hers, and how it felt to be in his arms... and dared, just for a moment, to wonder what it might feel like to be over his knee, safe and secure in the knowledge that she had allowed him to put her there.

***

"Lily, oh my goodness, you look stunning!" squealed Harriet, grabbing Eva's hand as their friend appeared from the dressing room in a sleek full-length ivory satin gown that hugged her gorgeous figure. The three of them, along with Lily's mum, were at a bridal shop, viewing the dress that Lily had chosen with her mum the week before. Harriet was feeling happier than she had in weeks, the memory of her time with Tom the previous day still fresh in her mind.

"You seriously do, Lils," Eva said, biting back tears, "There won't be a dry eye in the house, girl."

Lily bit her lip and uttered one of her delighted little screams. "Thanks girls," she said, "I just... me and mum both saw it on the hanger, and it was only the third dress or something that we tried... but it's just perfect, isn't it?" She turned to gaze at herself in the mirror. "I can't wait to see Adam's face."

"You aren't going to show him before the wedding are you?" Harriet asked, appalled at the very idea.

"God no," Lily said, laughing, "Calm down, traditionalist."

Eva laughed too. "You are funny, Hattie," she said fondly. "Lils, oh my God I can't stop staring at you you gorgeous thing."

"But it's your turn now! They've picked out a few selections for you to try so we can see the bridesmaid's dresses next to mine: go try!" Lily said, ushering the two of them towards the dressing room, where they saw a number of lavender dresses in a variety of fabrics hanging up ready for them to try.