Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 16

Sixteen.

I was unlucky with my parents, but I was lucky with Lolo and Lola. They made me feel like I was the most precious person in the world. I was seen, valued, and loved by them. Sinasaktan man ako nina Mama, takot naman sina Lola na masaktan ako kahit kaunting kirot lang. I was taken care of. Ayaw nilang kumikilos ako sa kanila. It was like I was a princess and my castle is their mansion.

If I had to choose, I'd rather live here with my grandparents. It's just that, my parents don't want me to have this kind of life. They want me to suffer until my last breath. They want me to taste their wrath as long as I'm living with them. Kung sila lang ang masusunod, matagal na nilang tinigil ang pagtustos sa akin, ngunit ayaw nilang mamantsahan ang kanilang mga pangalan. They want to show to everyone that they are one of the best parents.

Girl, fuck them. They're the worst parents.

"Elvira..."

I put down my comb on the vanity mirror and look up just to meet Zavion's eyes. Hindi ko pa rin makalimutan 'yong mga salitang sinabi niya kina Lola kanina. That made my heart flutter and I was thankful. Thanks because someone admires me? Sa ngayon nga lang, hindi ko alam kung paano umakto lalo na kapag magkaharap kaming dalawa. Nangangapa ako sa mga salitang dapat kong sabihin sa kan'ya.

Nothing have changed, of course, but now that he had admitted his feelings for me, parang ang hirap paniwalaan? Galing ako sa toxic and failed relationship and hearing someone confessing his feelings for me, tapos alam mong isang kagaya pa ni Zavion 'yon, talagang 'di ka maniniwala!

You'll question everything like— is this guy pulling a prank on me? Wala ba siyang magawa kaya ako ngayon 'yong trip niya? And many other questions.

It's really hard to trust again. It's really hard to risk again.

But okay, it is his feelings. Ayaw ko lang mapaglaruan ulit. Ayaw ko lang maniwala ulit sa mga bagay na dapat hindi ko na lamang pinaniwalaan sa umpisa pa lang.

"C-can't sleep?" I look away and look at my reflection through the mirror instead.

"Yes," he answered shortly.

"Wala ka bang gagawin?" My forehead creased in confusion. He said he was doing something so I didn't bother him. His laptop is on the bed, the papers are also scattered.

"A-are you going to avoid me after this?" There's a hint of fear in his voice.

"Huh?" Umangat ang aking tingin at matagal ko siyang tinitigan sa mata. "Hindi ako gano'n, Zavion."

I heard him sighed. Inayos niya ang magulo niyang buhok at binasa ang kan'yang labi. Napatingin muli siya sa akin at doon ko napagtanto na namumungay ang kan'yang mga mata, marahil dahil sa pagod at antok.

"I mean those words, Elvira..." He said slowly, his breath hitched in his throat. "Everything I've said earlier to your Lola, that was all true."

"Hindi ko naman tinanong."

I put a face mask on my face. Ramdam ko ang pagsunod ng kan'yang mga mata sa akin, pinapanood ang aking bawat galaw. I don't know how I could chill like this knowing that I have a lot of schoolworks to do. Everything is stressing me out so I'm taking a rest for a while. Tamad akong gumawa pero masipag naman ako magpahinga.

Parang noong mga nakaraan lang, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kailangan kong magsipag para patunayan ang sarili ko sa mga magulang ko. The fuck, I don't need a validation from others. Sapat na 'yong kilala ko ang sarili ko at nasa maayos akong pamamalakad. As long as I'm pleasing myself without hurting others, I'm satisfied with myself, I don't need other's validation.