Death Rush

Chapter 4: What Happened?

That night, Remi couldn't sleep. He stayed up all night texting her and calling her, in the hope that she would have eventually responded.

It was all useless. The realization kicked in.

At first, he tried to give an explanation to it. He thought she was fine and that she would have eventually came back home. Maybe she was tired of her father and had decided to run away. It wouldn't have been something uncommon for her. He thought about every possible way to deny the fact that she probably would have never came back to him.

Secondly, he became angry at her parents. He told them that they couldn't do their job properly and protect her. While telling them that, he had showed an anger mixed with pain that was very unusual for him.

In the end, he gave up. There was nothing he could have done about it.

Six months passed by. There still was no sign of the girl.

Remi had lost interest in everything he once liked, especially drawing and studying. It was as if he had lost motivation in all things. He spent days either sleeping or crying. He wasn't the same anymore. Also, he had lost weight. He didn't lose a lot though, since he was already very thin. He lost hope in the world, almost as he knew he couldn't make it out without her. It felt like the only thing left to him was suicide.

He was on the 4th stage of grief.

He always refused to think about suicide despite his life being very miserable and pathetic. He never thought about it because he knew it would bring pain to all the people he knew. Although he only cared about himself, he didn't want to cause any psychological harm to his parents. Maybe that was a reason he hadn't done it yet.

His parents hated seeing him like this; he was failing all his classes, he felt guilty for what had happened and he wasn't able to enjoy anything at all, not even walks at the park with them. He would have never amounted to anything in life if he kept going like this. 

Even though they knew how awful he was feeling, they did nothing for him.

"Why.. why did it happen to me?" thought Remi as he was laying on his bed with all these questions that had yet to have an answer.

"What could possibly have happened to her? Is it possible that she's.. dead?"

His eyes widened.

There were so many possibilities, he didn't know what to think anymore.

"Maybe it's about time I move on. Maybe I have to change a little bit and find some friends.. but it wouldn't be the same thing. I want her. I miss her so goddamn much"

He started to weep as he started thinking about their meeting 6 months ago.

While he was deep in his thoughts, he noticed that the house was strangely quiet.

He was home alone. 

As he realized that, he started to grin.

"Is there anyone home?" shouted Remi.

"Mom? Dad?" shouted Remi again. Nobody responded.

His grin became a terrifying smile, then an hysterical laugh.

He ran to his kitchen, opened the drawer and looked at the knife, without taking it yet.

"I'm sick of this. I'm so goddamn sick of living with all of this happening to me" said Remi with a loud voice, almost as if he was shouting, weeping and grinning at the same time.

"There is NO reason for me to go on. I'm too selfish to care about the harm my death will cause to everybody, even to my parents who did NOTHING but criticize me this entire time" he shouted again, but this time with a louder voice than before.

He slowly got closer to the knife with his right hand. He still didn't know whether to take it or not.

"Am I really that selfish though?.. Is this really what I should be doing?.." Remi started to think.

"What if the police finds her and I'm no longer alive?"

He stopped there. He stood completely motionless.

"What the hell am I even thinking about? At this point, I'm 100% sure she will NEVER be found and she will NEVER come back. I don't care about my parents' feelings since they didn't care about mine in the first place. They didn't even bothered asking me how was I.. how can you be such terrible parents?!" he said with a frightening and loud voice. Any person, listening to it, would have had chills down their spine.

He quickly took the knife and brought it to his room. If he had to do it, he didn't want to do it in the kitchen.

Once he was in his room, he had plenty of time to think about what to do, or so he thought, untill..

Someone or something touched his shoulder.