if i was in buzzfeed unsolved {platonic}

How I Would Act In "The Puzzling Disappearance of Agatha Christie"

I know it's been the hottest minute, but I figured "why not?" So here we are. Enjoy!

- "OMG SHANE WE ARE BOTH PARTIALLY BLONDE THAT'S FUN"

- "You haven't solved shit, Ryan"

- "Shane, we should go skull stomping as a bonding exercise!"

- Agatha being understimulated kinda resonates with me, I won't lie

- "Shane...why would you be an abusive father?"

- Okay, but I actually really like Agatha Christie

- "A fun little lesson, now go fuck yourself"

- WE BOTH HAVE DEAD MOMS TWINSIES

- "HE CHEATED???? NO WAY!!! FUCK THAT GUY!!! She's too good for him"

- "What a sick fuck"

- "I hope Archie runs into another plane and he's the only one who dies"

- Ryan: "...Increasingly desperate strategies."

Me: "It is quite unfortunate that was the first thing they did."

- "Hmmm, we have no leads. Let's ask the scooby doo equivalent!"

- "This case has been handled so badly that it is making me cringe."

- "Ryan may or may not be a murderer"

- "ARCHIE. Stop causing problems or I will beat your ass dude."

- "My guy needs to stop fucking the shit up"

- "This bitch does most DEFINITELY NOT pass the vibe check."

- Shane knows funny songs and I love that for him

- "Hmmm, where did she say she was going? Yorkshire? Where did they find her? FUCKING. YORKSHIRE."

- "Get those fucking magicians now!"

- "If you go Yorkshire, your ass is DONE."

- "Count your days, Shane. Count your days."

- "I may not have an exceptional memory, but it isn't THAT bad."

- "That is called 'Highway Hypnosis' my friends"

- HE HAD TO COME OUT ABOUT HIS AFFAIR LMAO

- "Good for her! Finishing a relationship AND 2 best-sellers? Pop off!"

- "New relationship pog?"

- no need to dwell on it

- "She doesn't really seem like an attention seeker to me though?"

- "Can you tell the authorities I'm far too much a lady? Thanks, take this 100 quid. Treat yourself!"

- "TT Trailblazer"

- "Counter counter counter counter counter counterpoint: Maybe you are both wrong, you're usually wrong anyway"

- "SHE KNOWS DUDE"

- "I have always wanted to go to the United Kingdom, I have a friend in Scotland."

- "Shane is having some sort of crisis, but idk"

- "Sir...please stop doing British accents IMMEDIATELY"

- "I have insomnia too girl, I get it"

- "NO SHE GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT"

- "THE CAR ACCIDENT MADE HER LOSE HER MEMORY???"

- "Why would you LET James Patterson kiss you?"

- "I disagree with that statement Mr. Madej."

- Bestie, Shane and Ryan were out of pocket with the British accents 

- Asking Ryan why he would want memory loss

- Wondering why Shane also wants to do LSD

- CAN YOU GET A LOAD OF THIS STUPID BITCH LMAOOO

- "Fuck the Irish Times, that was so mean of them."

- Okay, but seriously, she has memory loss, of course her entire story isn't exactly accurate

- "I agree with her because she is the only one who knows what happened when she was gone"

- "THE ONE CRITIQUE WAS THE MUSTACHE WASN'T LUXERIOUS ENOUGH ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????"

And that was the episode! I hope you laughed at this and my commentary, see you in the next chapter :)

Total Word Count: 517