Fear to Let Go

Chapter 9

After Hanta left that evening he suddenly found Iva walking around outside on a little bridge, actually on the fence of the bridge. Concerned he ran up to her, asking her what she had been doing, to which she only replied with a look at him. As if she'd look right through him. He reached out his hand to her.

„Come down to me, hm? Can you do that for me?"

It took her a while to react, taking his hand and jumping back down to him, to which he sighed a bit relieved, worried she'd actually hurt herself. It sure wouldn't be the first time she did so, she was only lucky to heal real fast, so her scars wouldn't last long. Suddenly though, Iva was willing to get back up on the fence again. Of course Hanta wouldn't let her. She got a little upset, but then only looked numb again. As if she'd be too tired to even act emotional. Gently he was leading her back home, even though she tried to pull back a few times.

„Hanta, let me go to him..."

Quite concerned yet also serious he disagreed as she kept begging.

„Iva, he wouldn't want to see that, now would he?"

„Well he doesn't...!"

She was already loosing tears once again. Hanta was hugging her.

„Iva, I'm sad too, I really am. But giving up is not an option."

„Why not...?"

„Because Waira never gave up either. So we're staying strong for him."

After crying for a while, she exhaustedly fell asleep in his arms. Hanta kept holding her, too worried she'd do something awful to herself.
As the new day was rising, I woke up next to Iris who was still asleep snuggling onto me. Nervously I blinked fast, blushing quite a lot. She was looking so adorable. Carefully I came closer to her as I felt my heart beating loudly. Why was I always so nervous around her? Gently I gave her a kiss on the forehead as she suddenly looked at me with a grin and I backed away, which made her laugh.

„Woah, Scyaram, calm down~!"

„I-I wasn't..!!"

Fast I looked away as I kept blushing a lot, hiding my face. This moment was so embarrassing. I felt her hands moving up on my back, over my shoulders and onto my chest from behind as she moved up on me close. I moved away a bit and I got up, looking at her.

„I- I didn't try anything..! Just- Just so you know.."

Iris tilted her head, not quite believing me. Then she got up, looking at me, holding onto my hands again.

„That was a very beautiful evening, Scyaram. Thank you."

I nodded as a sign of acceptance. I wasn't quite sure what to say, since I was still embarrassed of myself. Gently she held onto my face, nuzzling me as it made my nose feel funny and I sniffled a little. She chuckled, looking at me again. The moments when our eyes met were always rather scary, because my heart was almost begging to try for more, yet my mind wanted to refrain. It was so confusing, yet she was so beautiful to me. She kissed me, real gentle this time as I was doing the same. It was feeling better that time, even though I was still real nervous. As she put her arms around me though, I stopped a bit uncertain, yet she kept coming closer to me again.

„It's okay, Scyaram."

We looked at each other a little before going on with the kissing. It felt good and I didn't really want to stop either. My experience with love was zero and I didn't want to mess it up, just wanted it to work, and even so my mind was still doubting. But I didn't wanna doubt! As she then left back home my heart was so sore. Without her. I didn't want to be alone in that moment, but also not making her uncomfortable. After letting my thoughts move around for a while, I had to admit that this evening had been quite pretty indeed. It didn't feel forced at all, easy, despite my nervousness. The thought of her slowly took over everything I could think about. After I as well got back home, slightly smiling, I heard a noise coming from my kitchen. Skeptically I got there, yet nobody was to be found. Strange. Even thought no one was found, something was and I had to remove those immediately. The little black animals came inside. Everyone used to usually underestimate these creatures, called Derevas. They were extremely dangerous though, since if they came in groups which was almost always the case, they could devour a whole virus if they wanted to. While I was cleaning and focused on my work, someone was unnoticeably looking at me from the closet I had in the kitchen...

Hardworking senpai. Give up this little filthy woman and just come to me already~. I promise to take care of you, love you forever and moreover again, in the next life even!

„Senpai...~"

Fast I shook and turned to the closet. There was nothing though, yet I was getting pretty concerned. I sure believed in ghosts, however this house never had any activities before. Rather quickly I finished my task and then left upstairs, falling in my bed. As soon as I was calm again however, Iris's words and laughter captured my mind again as I was blushing. Such motivation, empathy, love. Such a strange feeling in my stomach and that unhappy moment she had to leave me. Was this what it was supposed to feel like? Being in love. Being nervous around that person, almost aroused? I held onto my heart and closed my eyes, seeing her face in my fantasy. Iris. I was blushing more, slowly moving my hand somewhere it wasn't actually supposed to go. All those pictures of her in my sight were messing with me however, I didn't want this to stop. I wanted her back again, with me.

Senpai stop!!