1. Claude Phoebe(ManxMan)

•Chapter 29

Being back home, where I was born, where I grew up and lived and loved felt surreal with this new heart of mine, this new body.

I stared at my palm like it was foreign, like I hadn't known it to look this way before and I smiled at my father's grave stone. His body may not be beneath the ground but he was truly gone this time.

Footsteps hit the earth and I could feel the vibrations of its force beneath me where I sat, I didn't move as his scent hit me and I felt relaxed. Papa.

The snow white Wolf came to a stop as he neared and I felt his warm wet tongue slid over the side of my face and I made a face.

"You have wolf breath, Papa." I wiped furiously and watched the wolf give what was close to a laugh but almost threatening. He sat across from me, beside dad's headstone and I sighed. "I can't believe your here, right now." I spoke softly watching his fur flutter gently as he tilted his big head and I chuckled. "Can you even understand me? How far gone are you?"

I'm not gone, Claude. I blinked, my lips parting a bit more at his voice in my head. The sound alone had felt so new and yet so familiar that my eyes stung.

Papa? I shot back through the link I had assumed broke years ago, his wolf stepped closer, licking it's about and sat down, laying onto its stomach, and barked.

"I thought..." I inched closer to him and touches his large paw, he licked my hand and I laughed.

I'm sorry, baby boy... I'm sorry I took so long.

I began shaking my head as he spoke, sniffing as tears streamed down my cheek. He whimpered and sat up, closing in on my face to lick away my tears and I laughed.

"No, I'm sorry, I can't imagine how hard it was for you." He sighed into my head, his voice was just a deep and fatherly and warm as it had been. We were silent for a moment, I ran my fingers through his fur before he stood to sit beside me, his wolf body leaning into my side all heavy and I laughed pushing against him.

We both stared at the headstone.

I resented him, you know. He began softly and I remained silent, knowing he probably wanted me to understand and that he needed to let it out, at least once. For leaving me here, for dying but not dying and then finally dying. He gave a snort.

"I know... I think we all did, at one point."

What killed me was that I waited for him. All my life I dreamt of the day I'd finally get to live like everyone else... I'd finally be loved by someone. He shook out his fur and laid down to his stomach. Just when I was about to give up, he showed up and just when life got a little quiet for us he goes away.

I thought about his words, the sadness lingered but there was acceptance too.

I wasn't built for grief, Claude and I hope one day you and your siblings can forgive me for not having been strong enough to be there. He turned his head to look at me, his eyes sunset yellow faded into green for a mere moment. I only wish I was there for you guys, raised you properly, been more present and that will be the one thing I never forgive myself for. I'll never forgive him for.

I ran my fingers through his back and pursed my lips. There was no turning the clock back to make things right or better, there was only moving forward.

"You're here now, Papa, so just stay, for as long as you can hold on, just look at us." I told him because telling him that it was okay wouldn't make his guilt any less nor would it fix anyone. All I could do was remind him that at least he was still here now and there was still time to be with us as best as he could.

At the end of the day, we understood him. His pain and we couldn't deny that most of us wouldn't have fought as hard as he did to see the light of day.

I shifted and we ran together, playing along the way, I'd tackle him, growling playfully sneezing to remind him it's all fun and games. We arrived back at the pack house and was joined by others. We played until we were exhausted. All of us like a litter passed out and panting.

A few days later I found myself infront of Theo who was relaxed infront of his garden, watching his flowers.

"This may seem late, but..." I stared at his peaceful face from the side and he offered me a smile. "How much do you know about dragons?" He gave a soft chuckle and leaned towards his flowers, brushing his finger overall yellow petal.

"What exactly do you want to know about them?"

"Everything." I fiddled with my the grass beneath us, a pang in my chest.

"The only people who can tell you that are on an island." I sighed and ran a hand over my face and leaned back.

"I'm aware... I guess... I just wanted the unbiased view first."

"Well, not sure if I count for that," he laughed lightly, brushing the strand of white hair that escaped his pony tail off his face. "Most of what I know is what I got to hear about, since they were gone by the time I was 15..." His brows furrowed and he scratched his head. "They were a fierce group, not very social, lonely and powerful, and the first to expose themselves to the humans."

My brows went up and I leaned forward.

"During their time in the world, dragon shifters barely got to live their lives human, their shifting abilities often forced a full shift around pregnancy and a lot of them were making babies too soon." He laughed. "Basically, it wasn't unheard of, for dragon shifters to disappear into the mountains, a lot of them were always stuck in full shift and they can't undo that. Half shifters only ever lasted until 16. They probably got pregnant so fast because of the death toll."

"Pardon me?"

"Basically, they were cruel to one another. The males often felt threatened by their offsprings and killed them during infancy so a lot of fighting between mothers and fathers, that's why a lot of them never knew their fathers. Anyway, as much as they were human, they were more dragon than human in that sense. Mates were rare, still are. Which actually makes the more dominating of the couple fight a lot to kill offsprings because they don't want to be challenged."

"How do you mean?"

"Dragons can mate to a single individual. Meaning, if a dragon were to see you perchance and recognise you as his mate it may not be a true mating." My brows furrowed confused. "Any dominating dragon of the generation can be your mate so all of them flock you to claim you then they fight each other to the death for the right to claim you."

"What?"

"Very interesting. Sometimes the one who was truly meant for you dies and you get stuck with a false mate. The signs point to yes but the feeling is different. It's not easy to spot if you don't get to spend individual time with each of them to find this difference and they don't want you to know the difference."

"That's weird."

"Yes, so when an offspring presents they could challenge the parent for the role of mate."

"Is that why my grandfather wanted to kill dad?"

"Sure. He's the most powerful for shifting back and forth thus the most instinctual."

"Wow. okay, anything else?"

"I don't know... That's the most interesting thing I remember. They don't travel or stay in packs or groups because of the challenging of dominance and very territorial and bloodthirsty too."

"Well then. Noted." We laughed and I shook my head. "Am I going to kill my children then?"

Theo looked at me, his eyes squinted. "I don't know... Your part wolf, part dragon and there's a little bit of magic somewhere between all of that, so really, that question is up to you."

We stared at one another and I nodded. I wouldn't, I couldn't and I was a bit of everything to know that for a fact.

A\N
3 November 2021