Touch Me [sakuatsu]

Day 8

The next day at volleyball practice, Atsumu was off. He was sluggish all day from not sleeping well the night before. He spent a good portion of the night berating himself for being an awful friend, no, a horrible, pervy friend. Another large chunk of time was spent fantasizing about his friend and the things they were doing in his fantasies were far from wholesome. Cue the horrible, pervy friend thoughts. And so, he was caught in this cycle for most of the night.

He had almost fallen asleep in his classes and couldn't concentrate on anything that was being said even when he was awake. Then came practice and he was not playing well. He alternated between watching Omi-kun closely and then doing his best to ignore him altogether. It was so bad that the team and coach noticed he was having a bad day and he added that to the list of things to worry about.

In the locker room after practice, he and Sakusa were again the last ones to leave. Sakusa finished dressing, closed his locker and turned to Atsumu. "About yesterday..." he began.

Atsumu was sitting on a bench in front of his locker with his elbows on his knees and his head hung low. He didn't respond for a couple of heartbeats, but then answered "I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore."

Kiyoomi was unfortunately not surprised. He figured that Atsumu didn't want to touch him anymore. The setter had made that crystal clear the night before. He had thought about it a lot last night and had decided what he would say.

"Miya-san," he said to Atsumu's back, "I know that touching me was weird for you and I ..."

"It wasn't weird," interrupted Atsumu.

Kiyoomi paused, "What?"

"It wasn't weird. It was just ... I just ... Listen, I'm sorry I'm a horrible friend, but the guy ya like is goin' to need to take it from here. I'm sure if he's as great as ya think, he'll be more than willin' to take things slow."

Atsumu had still not looked up from the floor. He appeared to be finished so Sakusa tried to continue.

"I just wanted to thank you for everything. I know you don't think of me that way so I know it must have been a sacrifice to do what you did. I just have to say one more thing and then I promise I'll never mention it again. It's you. It was you. All along."

Atsumu's head snapped up and he turned to Kiyoomi. "What?"

Sakusa was a little irked at having to repeat himself, but he had come this far and he would not back down now. He looked directly at the blonde and said it again. "It's you."

Sakusa noticed that Atsumu looked strange and he figured that having a close friend confess to you was disconcerting to say the least. He tried to get everything out before Atsumu ran away and decided to never speak to him again.

"I felt like you should know and I had to get it out in the open. I know it's weird and I'm sorry." Atsumu stood up and was still pinning him with an odd look that Sakusa could not decipher. Was he mad? Embarrassed? Disgusted? Sakusa couldn't tell, so he continued.

"I know it will be awkward but I was hoping after a while we could go back to being friends."

Atsumu had walked towards him. They were a half-meter away, facing each other in front of Kiyoomi's locker. Miya still had that strange look, which was making Sakusa very nervous. He didn't expect this reaction, so he stuttered on a little more.

"I appreciate everything. You made me feel normal for a while and ..."

Atsumu closed the distance between them and lifted a finger to Sakusa's lips to quiet him, "Shhh," he whispered.

Sakusa was confused. He looked into Miya's warm brown eyes searching for some clue to the setter's feelings. He thought he saw, what? Desire? No, that couldn't be.

Atsumu was now staring back into Kiyoomi's dark eyes. He felt like screaming with joy. It was him? It was him! He was so relieved and happy and surprised. But overall, relieved that he wasn't the only one thinking there was something else between them.

His finger was still on Sakusa's lips. Kiyoomi seemed to be frozen on the spot, afraid that he was reading the situation wrong. Atsumu moved his finger from Sakusa's lips and trailed it along his jawline to the back of his neck and then, much to Kiyoomi's surprise and joy, leaned in the last few inches. Atsumu pressed his lips softly to Sakusa's, giving him plenty of time and space to pull back. It only lasted a couple of seconds before Atsumu moved back a few inches to study Kiyoomi's face.

Kiyoomi was flustered to say the least. Why did Miya-san just kiss me? I thought he didn't want to touch me. I thought I disgusted him. I'm so confused.

Miya must have seen the confusion in Sakusa's eyes. "I did want to touch ya. Too much. I wanted to touch ya everywhere and I figured that was weird since I was just supposed to be yer friend."

"So, we both .... want to touch each other?"

"Yes, Omi-omi. I want to touch you. I like you. A lot."

Sakusa felt lightheaded at the admission. He had thought about his moment for so long, imagined how it would feel, and his imagination did not come close to the elation he was experiencing right now.

"Can we ... kiss again?" His question came out as little more than a breath. Miya smiled that one sided smile and didn't respond but leaned in again for another gentle kiss. This one lasted longer but it was still light and soft. Sakusa felt a little weak in the knees.

Atsumu pulled away and again gave him that wry smile. "Let's go back to yer room, okay?" Sakusa managed a nod and they picked up their bags and headed to the dorm.