Beyond The Fury

Chapter Twenty-Eight

(Song- sHe by ZAYN)
————
Ivory's POV

'Dear Diary,
At my age I should not be this tired. While Hardin is sleeping beneath a different sky I sit alone missing him. It hurts so bad but I won't speak of it.. I don't want to hurt anybody else. The pain he has caused is so undeniably deep.. I'm struggling to heal. I had hope for us. I had hope that he would come around and tell me something.. that he would show me anything that proves he truly does cares about me.. but he never did. I hate him. I hate him for everything he has done, for all of the lies and all of the secrets. Hardin makes me angry- he makes me angry at the world and at myself. He fuels a furious fire within me but he fails to see it as just that. He is blinded by the amber hues and all he feels is the warmth. I want him to get burnt- I want him to be afraid of me. Of my anger.

The difference between Hardin and I is.. everything. We are nothing alike and even though I am consumed by pain and suffer I won't ever allow myself to be like him. I won't be a monster. I won't be a killer and I definitely will not let anyone hurt the ones I care about. Not like he did. He claimed to care about me and yet he left me. Maybe it's time I move on..

Maybe it's time I found someone who wants me- who loves me and doesn't make me question it. Hardin is just a chapter in my story- but the ink he marked me with, the words we created together and the small story we shared.. it's still me. It's all part of me. And I'm not sure I'll be able to move on from that..'

I fold my journal closed with a heavy sigh and take in the strong scent of coffee and freshly baked goods. The smell ignites a deep hunger in the pit of my stomach and I cringe as a loud rumble sounds from my tummy. I haven't eaten anything all day and I'm beginning to taste smells..

On my way to beg Bruce for my job back I made a small stop at one of the local cafés. My belongings are at Tina's apartment for now until I manage to find a place of my own. I know I have to do it quickly but what can I do with no money?

The café I'm seated in isn't popular at all and I know that I'll have my privacy here if I sit for an hour or two.

Elongated lightbulbs hang artistically from the ceiling panels and clean vintage armchairs and sofas are littered all across the space of the store. A large patterned rug is settled on the creaky wooden floor and I find a sense of joy in the packed bookcases near by my table. This is the perfect place for me to unwind and collect my thoughts. I don't think ever want to leave..

"Ma'am?" A waitress stands before me and I raise both eyebrows in surprise as she rests a cup down onto the table in front of me.

"Oh.. I'm sorry but I think you've made a mistake.. I didn't order anything." My eyes look between the waitress and the cup of coffee but she seems absolutely certain that it is for me.

"That gentleman over there paid for it.. he told me it was for your table." She softly smiles and gives me a light shrug of her shoulders before exiting back towards the coffee bar and I look across the room to find..

Liam?

Liam's smile quickly fades when he notices the look on my face and immediately he rushes to my table to reassure me, "Ivory.. I'm just here to talk. Bruce was beginning to worry about you and so was I." He explains and already his kind words bring me comfort.

"Why? I am fine..." I lie as best as I can and for a moment I'm positive he believes me..

"You don't have to lie to me.. I'm here to help." He untucks a chair from the table and pulls it out to sit down directly in front of me. His warm brown eyes are soft and his smile is small.

I smile back, my hands coming to cradle the warm mug set out in front of us. I don't know what to say to him.. I don't even think he is aware of what Hardin does with Ken and I don't plan on being a snitch.

"I got evicted." I admit shamefully and I can't bare to look Liam in the eyes. I don't want him to feel sorry for me- I'm sick of people treating me like a sob-story.

"How long ago did that happen?" He asks as he gently throws himself back on his seat, relaxing into the shape of the chair.

"Two days ago.. I was on my way to see Bruce today and well.. I ended up here." I shrug my shoulders gently and allow my eyes to drift back to Liam. He is wearing a creamy white shirt which is patterned with extremely small blue dots.. it looks expensive. His jeans are a deep blue, his shoes are a gleaming white and clutched in one of his hands is a grey button down formal coat.

"Where are you staying then?" His lips press together tightly and I can see that his eyes have became sadder..

But does he actually care?

"I've been staying with a friend.. I haven't slept much the past couple of days so I wouldn't exactly say I've been staying.. but my things are there." I try to lighten the mood with a forced giggle but Liam doesn't seem to budge.

"Why are you here, Liam?" I finally ask. He said he has been looking for me all over London.. but why? Why does he seem to care more than Hardin does?

"Like I said earlier.. I've been worrying about you ever since you stopped by. Bruce has been restless too.. he misses you. He won't admit that of course." Liam laughs for the first time since he arrived and I join in, "But he does. Why haven't you been back?" Liam asks another one of his invasive questions and I'm not sure why but I can't be mad about it..

Liam is actually taking an interest in my life, he is genuinely concerned for my wellbeing and all I want to do is hug him and say thank you.

"I can't tell you." I watch as Liam's face scrunches with both confusion and curiosity. Something stirs in the deep depths in the brown of his eyes and I shift where I sit, "What do you mean by that, Ivory?" He is trying to urge me to open up to him but I have to be careful- who knows what Hardin will do to me if I accidentally slip up about his.. business.

"Look.. Liam, if I could tell you I would. But I can't. You are a really great guy and I can't let you get tangled up in this web of lies. So please, believe me when I say I really cannot tell you." My blue eyes settle into his and he sighs in what I assume is defeat.

"You know.. I'm a big boy. I can handle myself." He starts and I allow my eyes to fall shut. He really isn't going to let this go, "What are you so afraid of, Ivory?" My heart jumps to my throat as my eyes ping open and I turn away from him. It's not that I am afraid of anything at the bar.. I'm afraid that I may be forced to stand face to face with the truth.

Maybe.. maybe if I just pretend for a little while longer- if I reject my feelings and shove the memories deep down to the darkest parts of my mind then I will be able to be me again. Ivory Carr without the aftermath of Hardin Scott.

"I need to go. If you speak to Bruce before I do please tell him I'll be stopping by and to please keep an open mind when I explain my absence. Thank you for the coffee.." I swiftly wrap my arms around Liam's shoulders for a brief embrace before I head toward the café exit.

"Wait." Liam's hand reaches out to gently grab my wrist as he stands from his seat and I gasp, snatching my wrist away from him as discreetly as I can without seeming suspicious, "I'm not letting you walk away alone again.. wherever you're going I'm coming too." His smile stretches from ear to ear and my chest fills with a indescribable warmth. I can tell that Liam and I are going to be good friends.. he is my type of person. Caring, charasmatic, kind and honest.. he is the type of person I need to keep close to me.

"Alright.. but you should know- I'm a big girl and I can handle myself." I giggle lightly at my own little joke and Liam chimes in.

Opening up the glass café door Liam and I slip out into the chilly London air and head towards the bar..