Trust Takes Moments to Break, But Time to Create

19-Marinette

I head into my bedroom to find it. 

A little something the kwamis and Master Fu helped me make for last case scenarios. 

The Interrupter. 

It intercepts information that is proceeding through the system of a piece of technology. The pig kwami, Daizzi, came up with the name and all the kwamis agreed with it as it explained its purpose. It was so adorable watching their discussion that I couldn't say no to them. I smile at the little silver piece of technology. Brings back happy memories of Master Fu when he still had his memories of his time as Guardian of the Miraculous. Memories I cling to desperately. They are the only pieces of him I still have after all. 

The only pieces of this incredible mentor I depended on so much before that luxury of having someone like that ripped away from me. It was for the right decision, it prevented Hawkmoth from having the upper hand, but still. Was it the right decision to leave me as Guardian? I still knew almost nothing in comparison to Master Fu's knowledge that he had yet to teach me. 

"What is that?" I smirk at him, showing him the piece of technology. He instantly nods, a little shocked. "What?" 

"How do you have an interceptor?" I shrug. "I have my ways. So, when do we strike? We need a plan to get this going." Felix nods in agreement. I start thinking, pacing the room back and forth. Groaning, I stare at the Interrupter, then at a laptop, and then, like using a Lucky Charm, it came to me.

"We just need a time and distraction. Like an excuse on why we are working at the hour we plan on due to not being able to work on this side project during school hours." I smirk. "Maybe we need a bit of a Claude ideals?" His eyebrows furrow, and I can tell he's confused before he gives me a stern look. 

"No! No not those three wombats. No way." 

A few moments later...

"Wassup man! Whatcha needing?" I can tell from Felix's face, that he is already regretting this. To be frank, so am I slightly seeing Claude's adjoining dormitory with Allan. It's like a tossed up, dirty joke shop with a bed and a side table in it while connected to a bathroom. Everything from jack-in-the-boxes all the way to fake tigers with their fangs barred. 

This isn't going to go through well. 

I can already tell. 

Felix looks disgusted, and rightly so. This place is a mess.

There is even chewed up dried gum on the wall!

Did I mention it was framed with a golden plaque below it?

Probably not. 

"We need a product from this garbage pit that would be a well used distraction that would give us time." Claude smirks and the worrisome expression in the bottom of my stomach is NOT helping. 

"You gonna use it to have some time together???" The suggestive eyebrow wiggle makes me blush furiously as I glare at him. Which, as I have been told by others in the past, is trying to make an adorable little kitten look as ferocious as a tiger. Why this little... how dare he? How dare he think of something like that! It wasn't any of his business anyway! "N-NO!!! I-I... W-WE... WE N-NEED I-IT T-TO F-FIGURE O-OUT S-SOMETHING!!!" I breath heavily looking down at the dirty carpet. As if it could make me invisible like the dust bunnies. Claude shakily hands me an object that looks like a smoke bomb. I take it, then quickly rush out, embarrassed out of my mind. 

Why did I do that?

Why did I do that?

Why did I do that?

WHY DID I DO THAT?!

UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

I collapse down on my bed, exhausted, holding my scalp and my head still playing back the situation that just happened in my head. However, each time, all the words were twisted until I felt myself seeing a completely different and  much more humiliating experience. Claude suggesting sexual fantasies I may have with Felix. Felix calling my stutter an ugly embarrassment. Calling me an ugly embarrassment. Allan coming in and joining in the picking on me. Me trying to defend myself but not being able to. How ironic. How pathetic. How idiotic am I, Ladybug, who can't defend myself in my civilian form. 

Something I could not get out of my mind no matter how hard I try. 

Over and over. 

Not stopping to give me a break once. 

All of this mess. 

All because my trust was broken. 

All because nearly everyone I loved turned against me, believing lies before coming to understand my side first. 

Now I don't know what to do about this. 

My heart was ripped apart and I can't even understand how to stitch the pieces back together.

Which, again, is another ironic situation since sewing has always been a part of my life. A passion. 

But this is something I have no clue how to even begin learning how to sew. 

Thanks Lila.

You really won.