Butterflies (boyxboy)

Chapter 19: Self control

"Where's the shy boy gone?"

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Tamesh stays still, transfixed on the minute actions Blake is making, with his eyes slowly beginning to flutter closed, then he feels the pressure on his lips as Blake gently joins them with his own. This only causes Tamesh's eyes to open wider as he feels the unfamiliarity on his unmoving lips. 

Blake pulls away, sensing the lack of commitment on Tamesh's part. He opens his eyes and looks at the artist's unreadable expression with confusion. He suddenly comes over all embarrassed. "Have I got this completely wrong?" He utters a little nervously. 

This forces Tamesh to speak. ''No, it's just...." Tamesh couldn't finish the sentence. 

"Just what? I'm attracted to guys too, you know." Blake pulls away slightly and this is enough for Tamesh to act. He didn't want him to go. He needed to get a grip. He closes his eyes and leans forward, the gap now closed as now it's Blake's turn to be taken by surprise. Lips meet, soft and innocent. 

Tamesh grabs onto the material of Blake's shirt with Blake's hands once again returning to cup Tamesh's face, but as soon as the kiss gets heated, Tamesh suddenly pulls away. "Sorry... I'm sorry!" He begins, suddenly pulling away from all physical contact. 

Blake cannot deny he's a little disappointed and still confused, but tries not to let it show. "It's ok." He says smiling. 

"I don't know you." Tamesh suddenly says. He attempts to get up from the bed but Blake grabs his wrist, causing Tamesh to look at him gazing up at him. He looks puzzled by the remark.

"Stop a minute Tam. What do you mean you don't know me? Where have you been for the last ten minutes? Were you even listening?" Blake now stands up to match Tamesh's gaze.

Tamesh looks down on himself a little sheepishly. "I mean...what I mean is....you don't know me." Tamesh looks up at Blake, a sad expression painted across his otherwise flawless face. 

Blake takes a step forward once again. A finger rests on the underside of Tamesh's chin, making the artist maintain the gaze. "I want to get to know you Tam." He leans in once again to capture Tamesh's lips, but the artist begins to panic. 

"I need to go!" He backs away, turning swiftly and opening the bedroom door. The noise of the apartment hitting him as he makes his way to the apartment's exit.

Blake is left standing in the doorway, framing his statuesque body as he watches Tamesh disappear before him.  Blake puts a hand on his bedroom door and slams it shut. The noise is lost in the atmosphere. 

Tamesh heads outside the apartment to the reasonably lit corridor. He pulls out his phone...

Alfie, where are you? I want to go home.

He waits a while, the message remaining unread. Tamesh takes a sigh and decides to make his own way home.

As he turns the key to his shop door, he cannot shake the party from his mind. Blake felt it right to share his past with him and what did he do? Fumble like a prepubescent teen! What was the matter with him?

He closes the door behind him, resting his body weight on the other side. He takes a sigh. Tamesh had told Blake that the guy didn't know him, but the truth was, Tamesh didn't even know himself. "Stupid stupid!" He speaks through clenched teeth. Why was this so difficult for him? To admit he might have feelings for someone?

He pushes his body weight away from the door and heads into the studio out back, switching on the lights and pulling off his shirt. He turns his speaker on and grabs an unused canvas resting on the counter top. He lays it on the floor before proceeding to squeeze various colour paints over it. He then grabs two brushes, one for each hand and begins to make large expressive movements over the canvas, dragging his brush through the paint each time. 

The image surfacing looks chaotic. Colours blending of their own accord. Tamesh's arms were strong. Making huge squishes here and there, accompanied by shouts of frustration, being spurred on by the music. He steps onto the canvas, not caring if his supposed smart boots get covered in paint in the process or if they left a print here and there. 

Tamesh only stops when he feels beads of sweat form on his temple, his breath getting ragged. He looks down at his frustrated creation, before tossing the brushes to the floor, making a clattering sound as they hit the floorboards. He wipes the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand before looking ahead.

He then gazes upon it. The unfinished canvas of the model. Tamesh walks over to the barely painted image. The likeness evidently there! "Blake. What are you doing to me?" He utters almost defeated as he raises a hand to the painting. A finger tracing over the painted brush strokes of the athletic and well toned body. 

Tamesh squats down, getting to eye level with the painting, taking in the face. The face he kissed.  If only he felt this confident with the real thing. 

"You need to learn to lock your door." 

Tamesh stands up suddenly and turns to see none other than Blake standing just shy of the doorway. 

Fueled with emotion and a sudden confidence from somewhere, Tamesh takes big strides towards the model, he pushes Blake back by his shoulders until he is backed up completely against the wall. 

Now confined in Tamesh's human cage, Blake smirks at the artist, letting his eyes drift to his bare chest before returning his gaze to Tamesh's face. "Where's the shy boy gone?" Blake teases, wanting a reaction from Tamesh. How far would this guy actually go?