HE WAS NEVER MINE (Her Version)

He Was Never Mine - 9

After a few days, Morning
Maheswari Mansion

Sanskar woke up with a headache as he couldn't sleep properly from last few days. That day after talking with Swara he understood one thing that he won't be able to convince Swara to come back without sorting his feelings for her. That day after Swara hanged up the call he went to Laksh's room to ask him about everything regarding last few years, about what happened after Kavita's death, what he did with Swara, how Swara managed him everything. The more he listened the more complicated his thought became. Later Laksh took him towards the guest room where Sanskar and Swara's every memory is kept, be it their photos or the gifts they gave each other or anything else. Whole night Sanskar spend their looking at everything one by one touching and feeling Swara's present neer him. He also got  a hard disk from Laksh, where his and Swara's beautiful moments are captured in the form of short videos, some with family members, some with their friends and some just about the two of them. He didn't even realised when it became morning. After that he took some days to analysis everything going around him and finally he came to a conclusion that he would go Assam to see Swara. Well Swara doesn't want him in her life before he realises his true feelings for her, but that doesn't mean that she can't be in his life. He will not come in front of Swara but he will look after her from the shadow without her knowledge. He now knows everything about Swara and his relationship with her, but doesn't remember them. It's like knowing someone else's story from a outsider's perspective. But now he wants to live those memories and for that he has to create new memories for which it is important that he stays near her to know her better and understand her more so that finally he understand his feelings for her which he sure has but doesn't know how to name them.

He still remember the day when he came back home after gaining his memories back. He remember how for everything he asked it would be present in front of him by Swara, whether it is the time when he asked for food from his badi maa who said ok and then asked Swara what food should be given to him or when he he asked for his medicine from Laksh who in return ask Swara to give him his medicine or his clothes that he asked from his mom who again asked Swara where she kept them. He noticed his family members were behaving as if only Swara knows what is good for him and what is not, as if he was totally dependent on her. With his past memories back and present memories forgotten, all these small small details were making him uncomfortable. He started getting irritated and at last he took out his anger on her who was just trying to help him like always but at that time he was not able to understand them.

It was not easy for him to accept that the girl who he thought as a kid suddenly as his wife. The girl who helped him to marry Kavita, his first love is now herself married to him. Before his accident Swara was a kid to him, a six years younger girl who lost her parents while trying to unite him with her sister. Last he remember she was his responsibility and now suddenly everyone told him that she was his love.

He was confused, he was frustrated, his mind was in chaos. He didn't know what to do, how to handle the situation. So he did what most of the human beings do at the time of difficulties, that is to blame someone else for your own miseries. He blamed Swara but after few hours he realised it wasn't Swara who should be blamed. It was him who was responsible for that accident. He shouldn't have drive while doing romance with Kavita. He should have been more careful. If only he paid more attention towards the road while driving, if only he was more responsible then that accident wouldn't have taken place and Kavita would have been alive and Swara's life wouldn't have destroyed. It was his fault but he blamed Swara for him. Sanskar was repenting. He wanted to ask forgiveness from Swara but the damage was done. Swara had already left Maheswari mansion before he reached home.

Sanskar was engrossed in his thoughts when Sujata came inside his room braking his monologue.

Sujata : Sanskar have you done your packing.

Sanskar : yes mom I did it last night only

Sujata : oh

Sanskar : what happened mom? You want to say something?

Sujata : actually I have made Swara's favorite chilly pickles. You are going to Assam then keep them also in your luggage.

Sanskar : ok mom but know right although I'm going to Assam but I won't be going in front of Swara for time being. She needs time and I too need it mom.

Sujata : yes I know. It's just that...

Seeing Sujata sad Sanskar came forward and gently hugged his mother.

Sanskar : don't worry mom just few more days and I promise your daughter will be in front of you then pamper her as much as you want.

Sujata : Ok, now let's go for breakfast after that you have a flight to catch.

Sanskar : you go mom, I'm coming.

After Sujata left Sanskar took a photo of Swara where she is smiling wholeheartedly by looking towards the camera. While looking at her photo he promised to be more responsible for her.

Sanskar's monologue : I'm coming Swara but don't worry this time I won't let you take any tension. You have done your part and now it's my turn to fulfill the responsibility. I promise you Swara from now on your life will only have happiness and you will get the love and respect that you deserve. Don't worry Swara I will sort out every thing soon and then I will be yours wholeheartedly and again you will be mine ONLY MINE.