HE WAS NEVER MINE (Her Version)

HE WAS NEVER MINE 7

Purkayastha House
Karimganj
At 8:30 PM

Swara's monologue :  Why does Sanskaar want to meet me since he haven't got back his memories yet. Is it only because he know about my pregnancy now. Does he hate me for become pregnant when he was not mentally stable. Will blame me for taking advantage of the situation. Will he ever understand my circumstances. Will he ever realise my love for him or will he ever love me back again like before.

What if he doesn't want to be a part of our child's life and that is why he want to meet me so that he can tell me this. But as far as I know him, my Sanskaar never gives upon his responsibility. But then again he is not my Sanskaar anymore. What should I do? How should I handle this situation.

       Swara was thinking about all this when her monologue broke due to the ring of her phone. Seeing Sanskaar's number flashing on her mobile after so many months Swara became overwhelmed. There was a time when he was not able to live without talking to her for more than an hour and now, after almost six months, more precisely five months and eighteen days that she will listen to his voice. She is going through a roller coaster ride of several emotions, which she won't be able to express in words. With shaking hands and fast beating heart she received the call.

(Phone Conversation)
Swara - Hello
Sanskaar - hi Swara!

"After so many days I heard your voice Sanskaar"                          - thought Swara, to Sanskaar -
Why do you want to meet me Sanskaar? Why now, after so many months?

"What should I tell you Swara when I myself is confused about everything that has been happening from last few months, or should I say last few years"
                          -thought Sanskaar, to Swara -
Comeback Swara. You don't have to be alone, specially at a time like this.

Swara - why should I come back Sanskaar?

"Please say that you remember something, anything regarding our past Sanskaar, that you have realised that you love me, that I'm more than just a temporary replacement of di"
                          -prayed Swara in her heart.

Sanskaar - You are pregnant Swara and it's my responsibility to take care of you and our baby

"I have lost many things now I don't want to lose my child and it's mother too. Please comeback Swara"                         - Sanskaar thought to himself.

Swara - Do you love me Sanskar?

Sanskar - this question is not important now.

Swara - when this question will be important enough for you to find answer, after that only we will meet Sanskar, not before that.

Sanskaar - Swara please, please come back

Swara - but why should I come back Sanskaar? Give me one valid reason.

Sanskaar - you are pregnant with my child. Is that not enough of a valid reason to you Swara?

Swara - so you want your child's mother back and not your wife.

Sanskaar - we will figure this out Swara but for now please come back. Tell me your address. I will come to pick you up.

Swara - I can't Sanskaar. I can't.

(By now Swara was in tears. The overwhelming emotions are drowning her down)

Sanskaar - Swara please, I promise we will figure out everything, please agree.

Swara - not this time Sanskaar. Not this time. I'm tired Sanskaar, from figuring out everyone's problem, from fixing every errors of my life. For once I want to stop. I don't have any energy left in me anymore. This time if anything goes wrong then I'll lose my mind and it will effect my child as well. This time I will think about my child and about me first. I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you but I don't have any more courage to face any new twist in my life.

Sanskaar - Swara listen to me... (Interrupted by Swara)

Swara- no you listen to me Sanskaar, all my life I have been trying to make everyone happy around me by being the obedient daughter to my parents, the dutiful granddaughter to my grandparents, the caring sister to Di and Ragini, the loyal friend to my friends, the dedicated daughter in law to your family and last but not the least a loving wife to you. But every time in every relationship whatever may go wrong it was always me at the receiving end.

But not this time. You may think that I'm selfish. But it's ok. For once I want to be selfish if that can keep me sane. My child needs it's mother.

You won't understand Sanskaar, but I know how it feels to live without your mother's guidance and I don't want my child to go through the same.

If you want us back then figure out your true emotion towards me. If you feel that you love me than call me back I will send you my address. And you if feel you don't have any feelings for me then send me the divorce papers through Laksh, I will sign them.

Good bye Sanskaar. Good night.

Sanskaar-  Swara listen... hello... hello... he.. Damn it. Now what should I do?

Precape -
Swara's past memories