Hopelessly Devoted To You

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The ride back home was sickeningly silent. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence as it had been before, but it was deafening. Quinn was driving my car; this time I didn't try to fight her over that, I knew I was in no state to drive after all. Every time I tried to say something, nothing came out of my mouth, so I finally gave up trying, as Quinn kept eyeing the road carefully, driving a bit too slow for my liking. I wanted to get back home, crawl into my bed and sleep till next year, at least. Just the thought of the questioning that was awaiting me at home was making me feel sick.

Way too soon, we came into a halt as Quinn parked my car outside our building. She must have some sort of crazy luck or something, since I always had to park a few blocks away at least. We walked inside silently, I couldn't even look at her, and we took the elevator. I felt like running away, the tension was beginning to be too much to handle, but still I managed to keep myself together until Q slid the door to the apartment open, and I was faced with three pale and worried faces.

Without a second thought, I threw myself over Kurt and started crying again. To say that it surprised everyone was an understatement. Honestly, it surprised even myself, but I guess it was my own way of conveying how much I actually loved him. Still, the action itself, added to my tears, and to the way Quinn slid herself quietly into the kitchen, did nothing to calm anyone. I could almost feel Rachel's eyes burning holes into my head, and I could absolutely feel Brittany fidgeting beside us, but the only thing I could really focus on was the way Kurt wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Come on, baby doll, let's get you to the couch," he spoke softly against my ear. Once I subtly nodded against the crook of his neck, he started walking further into the house, and I let him drag me until I felt the soft cushions of our sofa pressing against my calves.

With a thud, I let myself plop down on the couch and took several deep breaths to calm my crying, as everyone was gathering around me. Everyone except Quinn. Once my tears subsided, I looked at everyone. Quinn was nowhere to be found, Brittany wasn't even looking at me, instead she was picking at the hem of her shirt, her eyes focused on something fascinating on the floor. Kurt offered me a soft smile and grabbed my hand when my eyes focused on him, and finally, when I looked at Rachel, I could practically see the smoke coming out of her ears.

"Oh, Santana, for goodness' sake, will you tell us what happened once and for all?" the short brunette asked, not able to refrain herself any longer.

"Do you really need to always talk in paragraphs?" I countered. I was stalling, for sure, not that there were any bad news or anything, but I still felt quite uneasy, and the fact that Quinn had suddenly disappeared was winning over my nerves. I had seen her wander to the kitchen, but now she wasn't there anymore.

"It was a simple question, Santana. If you have bad news, you better rip the band-aid off as fast as possible. You have no idea how worried we have been. Brittany was trying to call you every three minutes, I thought Kurt would jump out the window any moment and me, myself-"

"Okay, okay, Berry, I get it" I didn't let her finish. Dammit, I loved her more than I was going to ever be able to admit, but she did talk way too much. "There are no bad news" I simply stated. At that, Brittany perked up, moving her head so fast I thought she might make herself dizzy, until her eyes locked on mine.

"Are you for real?" she said, her sweet innocence radiating from her baby blue irises.

"Yes" I finally managed to say. "I'm sorry, Lady Hummel, it has just been a very rough day. But I'm fine, all the tests came back positive. I mean, negative. Whatever, the point is I'm not pregnant, nor have any sign of STD, nor did the drugs any major damage. I guess the guy was indeed responsible, or it was my lucky day" I explained shrugging slightly.

Before I could say anything else, Brittany launched herself onto me, hugging me like her life depended on it, Rachel was letting out a huge relieved sigh, and Kurt tightened his hold on my hand. Again, I had to admit, I couldn't have better friends than this group of misfits that were my whole life.

"I'm going to call Noah. He was worried sick too," Rachel said before she walked towards the kitchen and started fumbling with her phone.

"Where the hell is Quinn?" I asked, more to myself than anyone, but both Brittany and Kurt heard me.

"Well, she is not here, but we would have noticed if she left. You should try your room," Kurt muttered, and Brittany nodded in agreement, disentangling herself from my body frame.

"Guys, thank you for everything," I said loud enough for Rachel to hear. "But there is a conversation I need to have. We'll hang out later, okay? Maybe we can order pizza?" I offered, and again Brittany smiled as a little kid, nodding with excitement.

The walk to my room was the longest I ever had to do, even if it was about fifteen steps. I was dreading the moment I had to face Quinn, knowing she was probably still furious and would, without any doubt, unleash her wrath on me. Maybe I did deserve it this time around, but that didn't mean I was ready for it. With a deep sigh, I opened my door and stepped carefully inside.

"Q?" I asked as the darkness surrounded me.

"What the hell is your problem, Santana?" a voice hissed somewhere inside the room, and I could hear light steps moving closer to me, but my eyes had yet to get used to the darkness, so I actually couldn't see anything.

"I came in peace" was all I managed to say. I really wanted to talk for once. We both needed it.

But I couldn't say or do anything else since two strong arms were pushing me roughly against my door, a supple body pressed firmly against mine and two luscious lips were attacking my mouth with anger, with hunger, with lust, and with so many unspoken feelings. It took me a couple of seconds to register what was going on and to catch up, but soon enough I was kissing Quinn back just as fervently as my hands flew to get a strong hold over her hips.

"I love you, and I hate that I do..." she hissed against my lips, biting harshly on my bottom lip and making me hiss in pain. I could feel the venom in her words, I could feel the loath in the way she was touching me. I could feel it all. The worst part: it was the hugest turn on. I was probably desperate for her touch, desperate to feel her again against me, but the arousal she elicited from me was like nothing I could compare it to.

Soon her teeth were digging into the skin of my neck, just above my pulse point, almost drawing blood, and I was slowly turning into a quivering, moaning, mess at her mercy. She pressed her body harder against mine, and I had to bury my face into the crook of her neck and bite her shoulder roughly in order to not scream out loud and let the other three occupants of the house know what exactly was going on.

"Quinn....Q...wait..." I said weakly, trying to gather myself and not give in to my own desires, even if it was being the most difficult task to achieve ever. I already said it, Quinn always knew how to get me going, and she was using it in her favor. It was almost working. Almost.

"Quinn. Stop." I said louder this time, pushing her shoulders roughly to get her away from me. The action took her off guard, so she stumbled a couple steps backwards as she gasped.

"Isn't this what you want, S?" she muttered, sounding actually offended. "We always had great sex. Don't you want me to fuck you? For old times sake?" she added, still venomously, and I couldn't do anything else than whimper helplessly. When Miss Queen of the Prudes turned into Miss Potty Mouth, I simply couldn't help myself.

"I did. I do" I replied, taking a deep breath to not lose focus on the matter in hand. "But we need to talk. You know it. Fucking like cats in heat isn't going to solve anything." I tried to reason. My brain was so clouded with arousal that my words almost didn't make any sense. But I was determined to take the reins of my life once again, and this was the way to start.

Quinn, on the other hand, sighed almost out of boredom as she walked backwards a few steps until she sat down on my bed. "Then talk..." she whispered, all her bravado slipping away from her voice as the darkness engulfed us both. What a wicked metaphor...

"What happened to us?" was all I could ask as my body slid downwards against the door until I was sitting on the floor looking at nowhere in particular, and the deafening silence took residence between us once again.