Hopelessly Devoted To You

Talk. Part 3.

Quinn was looking at me as if she had seen a ghost. Her eyes were wide open, her mouth slowly opening too, forming a perfect 'O', but she wasn't saying a single thing. It had been like ten seconds of heavy silence and it was too much for me.

I was about to move away from her and accept my fate, when she suddenly lunged forwards, somehow climbing onto my lap and latching her lips on mine in a ferocious kiss. Even with the seriousness of the conversation we were having, I wasn't made of stone, so I couldn't help the soft moan that escaped my throat, and the way my hands clawed her hips possessively.

"Of course." she muttered when she finally pulled back for oxygen, resting her forehead on mine, her arms wrapped around my neck as if I was her most precious treasure. "I would have taken you back the second you walked out that door, Tana." She added quietly.

Slowly she started to pull away again, and even if she was saying she was going to take me back, I could see there was still something troubling her. I let out a sigh, ready to take it all. I wanted a clean slate, a fresh start, and that couldn't be done if she kept any secrets.

"What is it, Q?" I asked, raising my hand to rest on her cheek. Instantly she leant into my touch, letting her eyes flutter close for a second.

"I don't know how to trust you." She whispered as she opened her eyes again, looking at me so sadly that it was breaking my heart all over again. "And I'm not talking about when we were together. I'm talking about the years we haven't been..." she hesitated, but I nodded, urging her to continue. "Rachel and Kurt have been kind enough to let me know about your...activities....and I honestly don't know what to do with all that. It's not even the sex...I..." She took a moment to take a breath, I believed so she could gather all her thoughts into coherent words. We were trying to talk like adults after all, I could see how she was struggling not to be hurtful and throw things at my face. I actually felt grateful for once. "You are doing drugs now, Santana? Should I be worried about it? Are you an addict? Maybe not addicted to drugs, but an alcoholic? I am worried about your health and your well-being, and I'm not sure I could handle all that. It might be too much for me." She confessed with a sigh.

"Hey..." I whispered, pulling her closer to me. "No, you don't have to worry about that. Actually, if I were you, I would really worry about the sex." I tried to joke, but instantly felt bad because of her confession of being pathologically jealous, so I tried to fix it. "I mean, because I have an extraordinary sex drive and we will be fucking like rabbits all the time?" It came out more like a question, but I relaxed when I saw Quinn's lips curling upwards and letting out a soft chuckle.

"I wouldn't be opposed to that." She said still giggling. "Our sex was amazing after all." She added and I nodded, biting my lower lip.

"No, but really." I continued. "You don't need to worry about any addiction, I swear, I'm fine. I'm not saying I haven't done anything stupid or had one too many every now and again, but I'm not an addict." I promised, looking at her dead in the eye, hoping that my eyes convey all the honesty I'm putting into my words.

"Okay." She says, nodding softly and I smile.

"I have an idea." I tell her, grabbing her hand between mine as she looks at me curiously, waiting for me to go on with said idea. "How about we take it slow? Maybe we can start dating, see how it goes from there instead of jumping directly into a relationship? Test the waters and see how we feel, if we trust each other, get to know each other all over again?" I asked, but my brain decided that it had had too much seriousness for the day, and decided to spit out another stupid joke. "C'mon, it will be fun. I'll get too woo you again." I said with a devious wink. She simply rolled her eyes unimpressed, but I knew she was trying hard not to smile.

"Always so charming...." She said, softly pushing my shoulder, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay." She finally said. "I like that idea, actually. How mature of you." She added kindheartedly with a wink to let me know she could joke too.

"What can I say? I've grown." I answered smirking, with a nonchalant shrug of my shoulders. "But actually, there is one more thing I need to say."

"Okay." She offers, frowning worriedly.

"You said you still think I am in love with Brittany..." I start, taking a deep breath, hoping my words wouldn't come out the wrong way. "And that is only partially true. What I mean is, yes, Britt was my first true love, she is actually the person who taught me what love really is, and a part of my heart will always belong to her. But that doesn't mean I am not able to love anyone else. Actually, the way I love you, Quinn, isn't comparable to the way I loved her." I said, and I clearly saw how she lost all the color of her face. Maybe the words did come out wrong after all...

"I mean it in a good way." I said hurriedly. "Maybe it took me too long to realize I had all I wanted right by my side. Maybe I really needed to be with Brittany first, to learn how to love you without hurting you, even if that turned out the way it did..." I frowned as I spoke, but pushed through. I needed to get that out of my chest. "I'm not really that good with words, but what I'm trying to say here is that I am indeed in love with you. So much, so deeply, so purely, so...maturely, that in this case, I am sure I am not going to be able to love anyone else this way. So even if Brittany will always own a tiny part of my heart, the rest belongs to you. And I don't want anyone who isn't you Quinn, not Britt, not Elaine, not any of my one-night stands. No one. I only want you. You are the love of my life, Q. And I really, really don't want you to ever doubt it. I know words usually don't mean anything, but I'm going to prove this to you." I finished with a determined nod, looking at the blonde intently.

Then again she was lunging forwards against me, her mouth doing wonders over my own, as her tongue prodded my lips impatiently asking for and entrance that was instantly granted. While her tongue battled mine in a deep and passionate kiss, her hands started raking down my back, clawing the material of my shirt as the descended, until she could slip them under it and scratch my back instead.

A deep moan left my lips into her mouth, and she swallowed it with a shiver. She bit my bottom lip hard, but the pain turned into pleasure as she sucked said lip into her mouth. My hands had found their way to her ass and I was pulling her closer to me. God, how I had missed every curve and dip from her body. I had tried to forget them with all the flings I had, but it was impossible. No body was comparable to Quinn's. Some may say she didn't have the perfect body, her thighs were too thick, or her breasts too small maybe, but for me...damn, just looking at her made me wet.

"What about going slow?" I whispered when suddenly my brain caught up with what was happening. I wanted this more than anything, but I could foresee it being a stupid decision. It had been the first time around after all.

"Fuck that." She answered huskily, and her raspy voice sounded delicious. I had to bite my own lip to keep a moan inside. She then leant into me, brushing her lips against my ear, before adding. "We can start dating tomorrow. Today I want you to fuck me into oblivion. I really need to be reminded what it feels to be yours. So take me, Santana..."

God, she really is a sex goddess.