Tua Luce (English version)

waking the vulcanoes up

On the following days Maya had fled ways from any interaction with the doctor.  She was experiencing an internal torture in which her reason directly confronted the emotion.  With the haughtiness of someone who was sure.  And to be sure, she made walls fall, and what she saw behind them, messed with her.

She was taking a cold shower after another day of office, her body was a little sore after answering the last call.  She puts on her pajamas and sneaks into the doctor's room.  Carina was sleeping peacefully.  Without thinking too much about what she was doing, Maya curls up on the bed beside her.  Even if the movements had been minimal, they were enough to wake up the Italian woman.

- M-Maya?  - She takes a hand to the bedside lamp quickly, turning it on.  Confirming that it was the roommate – What are you doing here?

- Type three.

- What?

- I'm type three and a little bit type eight too.

Carina blinks a few times, glances at the clock on the nightstand, frowning.

- Maya... It's two in the morning.

- I needed to tell you - she whispers.

The doctor brings a hand up to her icy skin, adorning Maya's face with a caress.  Trimming a lone tear.

- I... I'm proud that you came to this conclusion. But I don't think straight when I'm sleepy, so can we continue this conversation in the morning?

Maya nods.  Her eyes widening as Carina pulls her shirt, making her snuggle into her body.

- buona notte bella mia - she Whispers already surrendering to sleep and the cozy feeling of having Maya's body pressed against hers.

- Good night... - Maya smiled even without understanding a word.  Letting herself be intoxicated by the perfume that came from the brown hair woman, being rocked by the tenderness of that embrace.

(...)

-I... need... to rest - she throws herself on the grass in the park where Maya used to run.  That morning the blonde had managed to drag her for a morning walk and Carina was already regretting it.

-But we haven't even done half the way – she sits down next to her on the floor.  Carina stared at the blue sky.  One of her hands rested on her stomach and the other on her side.  A few strands of sweaty hair stuck to her face that was red with exertion.  Maya got lost there for long moments, before continuing - Come on... You couldn't stand even half a day at the station - Mocks.

- The types of fire I put down don't usually require much resistance.

Maya gasps at the boldness of the woman who starts to laugh.

- Oh yes?  Due to your conditioning, I don't think it's going down at all.

- Oh, that one hurt.

It's Maya's turn to laugh.  The captain lies down beside the doctor who quickly clasps their hands as they enjoy the stillness of the moment.

- What is yours?  Your need?

- In which need a bipolar and unstable father. Your parents' divorce, your mother's moving with your brother to the other side of the world could result?  – She jokes with the bittersweet taste of truths in her mouth – My child, among other things, wanted security, which ended up resulting in this human being obsessed with seeking this through absolute certainties.  And of irrefutable knowledge.  Which can make me be too objective and logical and a little bit of reason at times.  Well, the last part is what Andrea and some of my ex-girlfriends used to tell me.

- And how do you fix it?

- We are not machines Maya - She Laughs - It can't be fixed.  We just learn to deal with it as best as we could.

-I need... I prefer – she Rephrases the beginning of the sentence – To face it as a machine that I can fix.  Because... I feel broken.  I'm broken… - Her voice breaks.

- Hey, hey, hey... - Carina gets up, supporting herself with her forearm, getting her face closer and a few degrees higher than Maya's - No. Okay?  We're not going in that direction.

- No?  I'm... Did you read all that?  It's me.  It's totally me.  I've always been driven by the need to be the best at everything to get approval.  And everything else was neglected.  I maintain an image that guarantees respect.  An impenetrable character, so perfectly staged that sometimes I can't even understand or access what's behind it...

The doctor takes her free hand to the blond strands, then stretching the caress to her soft face.

- I see you have truly opened up for our study – She smiles, taking a long breath in sequence – I'm not here to fix a broken person.  I don't see you like that.  I see a person who is ready to wake up the volcanoes.  Explore new seas and islands.  Find horizons inside that will make her understand and find herself.  And genuinely accept her essence.  Because it's valuable – Traces her thick eyebrows with her fingertips – it's strong – Contours her fine-lined cheekbone to her jaw – It's admirable – Paralyzes movements with a flat hand on Maya's face.  Faces the teary blue eyes that reciprocate with intensity – In addition to its owner being beautiful and irritatingly hot and attractive – Carina concludes smiling, leaving a kiss on the red nose, before walking away.  Making Maya smile through the almost cry, which was contained after the doctor's last lines.

They stay silent again.

- Thanks. For everything.  And I like… – Maya starts.

- Do you like?  – Dive into the blues that sparkled against the light.

- I like the human you've become. The brilliant mind and spirit you carry, even with this pose of tall beautiful Italian model who knows everything – she pretends to roll her eyes.

Carina smiles broadly.

-You know... It may be reciprocal – she starts leaving Maya confused as she watched her get up – This crush you have on me – Completes laughing, looking at Maya over her shoulder. Getting back to walk with a smile and a light heart.  The truth is, she had more than a crush.  She had a real abyss for that captain.  And a joke has never had this much truth before.

Maya gets up smiling and shaking her head, starting to follow Carina.  And as she faced the brown strands fluttering in the wind, she felt a ball of ice run through her stomach.  Maybe… Carina's assertion about herself was true, but she wasn't ready to admit it, neither to herself or to the stunning Italian in front of her.