meant to be (on going!!)

part two

maybe this was gonna be our city, San Diego.

Being on the run for so long from city to city was fucking exhausting, i couldn't even enjoy exploring around.

every-time i thought it was okey to settle down, my families people would find me and try to kidnap me back to New York but of course i kill them easily.

i guess my dad's tutoring did teach me how to shoot and hit just fine.

**

"mommy come on!" Elijah pleaded for the hundredth time today making me sigh.

"baby you had enough ice cream it's time for bed" i give him a pout and grab him, walking us to the single mattress laying in the empty place to get some rest, rest sounds a pretty easy thing to do right? but i have no idea how to do so. i never had the chance to rest, i always had to be alerted to when one of my dads men came to rape or hurt me and now, now i can't rest because i have to keep my son safe, safe from all these monsters that are after us, especially his mommy.

i watch him close his eyes slowly drifting into his sleep while i play with his curly beautiful hair.

now you probably think how do i even have a son mhm? well two years ago to be exact i was being raped by Joshua again, he used to be my friend well to be exact he was our maids son and since he didn't have a dad he used to stay with us while his mom worked around the castle.

we basically grew up together he was my everything, when ever my dad or mom tortured me or any of the men really i would run to my room crying, knowing he was waiting there for me.

he would hug me and tell me that i was the strongest seven year old he knew and that i was a bad bitch, yeah a bad bitch.

he knew about the abuse and he wanted to help me, now of course what could a eight year old do right? Exactly nothing so he told his mom.

When his mom found out she went to confront my dad even tho i told her it was not a good idea, it never was when it came to my dad.

after she confronted him, he called Joshua and Me into his office. His mother and my dad stood there and waited for us to settle down in the two seats and then he made us watch him kill her, right in front of her son and me. He then proceeded to take Joshua into the mafia but he was never the same Joshua again, in fact he blames me and to be honest i blame myself too.

he never hurt me or anything actually he ignored me most of the time
but that all suddenly changed at the age of eleven, i was just coming back from my dad's tutoring of five days, i had no energy couldn't even walk on my own, i was dragged by two of my dad's man and was thrown hard onto my bedroom floor.

when i saw him waiting for me, i was beyond happy, my friend forgave me, i thought but oh boy was i wrong.

he told me to lock the door and i did. "what's up jon jon?" i giggle, even when i was in pain, he made me happy.

He was my happy place.

jon jon, that was my nickname for him i used to love it so much now it haunts me.

"come here ant" he opened his arms for me.

ant his nickname for me.

i happily walked into his arms i was exhausted from my dads beating all i wanted was to sleep but i guess Joshua had others in plan.

" Jon jon what are you doing?" i gasps as i watch my best friend pull off my dress, "what ant i wanna try something with you so i could forgive you yeah?" he gave me a smile before tearing my underwear off.

so he could forgive me.

i was naked under his gaze and i couldn't do anything, i was already tired from fighting my dad's beating.

"jon jon please stop i wanna sleep" i sniffle, i watch him hover me naked "shut up ant we gonna have some fun but that's only gonna be between us to know okey?" he creases my cheek and that's when i felt him, i felt him enter me with force i wanted to shout and cry for him to stop but i couldn't i was frozen under him and his hand covered my mouth so i didn't let a sound out, "god you feel so good" he rasps and kept on thrusting into me with so much force i felt blood drip down my thighs and legs.

i was only eleven.

but it was only the beginning because for the next 7 years..i was Jon jon's personal play doll.

no one helped me out.

no one listen to my cry for help.

everyone just pretended they didn't hear me, including mommy and daddy.

i shook my head slightly trying to get rid of those thoughts, i'm safe now.

i hug Elijah closer to my chest.

i can keep on running away but i will never escape my thoughts they will always keep up with me, always.