mixtape (reddie)

Chapter 54

Richie is woken up from his rest by his bedroom door creaking open, the sound of heavy footsteps sending his drugged mind into a panic.

He rolls over, gets greeted by Zack, and begins to calm down.

"It's just me, champ," Zack whispers out, holding his hands up to show Richie he's no harm at all. "Just comin' in to check your fever."

"Dad..." Richie mumbles out, his eyes drooping closed as he feels the bed dip besides him.

"Yeah," he can hear the smile in Zack's voice. "Just me. Can I have you sit up a little?"

Richie groans in protest, his body stuffy with mucus and his brain practically burning in flames. He props himself up on his elbows, leaning back against his headboard. Behind the headboard is a little message written in crayon that Richie pretends isn't there. It says Georgie Denbrough forever!

Zack holds the thermometer under Richie's tongue, his hand cupping the back of his son's head to support the drowsy teenager. "I'm still baffled at how you caught such a bad cold when Bill hasn't been affected at all. Usually you guys catch these nasty things from school."

Richie sighs out, remembering two nights ago when he was out past curfew doing things he wasn't supposed to be doing with the neighbor boy that lives three streets over. His cheeks flush, but Zack just blames it on the fever.

"101," Zack states. "If it doesn't calm down by tonight, we may need to take you in to get a checkup."

"Scared," Richie rests his forehead against his father figure's shoulder.

"The doctors will help you, big guy," Zack comforts him.

"I think I..." Richie trails off slowly, his cold medicine making it hard to comprehend any sort of coherent thought process. "Need help. Like therapy? Because I don't... I don't think good things."

"Yeah?" Zack lowers his voice so gently for the delicate boy resting against him. "What's goin' on, sport?"

"Everything..." Richie takes a deep breath in. "I want my friends back to the way they were, but I know that they are only going to be hurt if I don't fix all this fucked up damage that's wrong with me. It's hard to let someone love you when you've spent years thinking you don't deserve it or you can't be loved... and I want to be my true self with them, dad, I do. They make me feel normal, and not like an orphan that got abandoned. And hurt. And is still afraid of getting hurt all the time. And I don't want you or mom to hurt me either. I like it here, I just want to be... okay again. I think the head shrink doctors can fix my crazy basket case."

"Rich, there's nothing to fix because you aren't broken," Zack rubs Richie's back, noting the way his spine protrudes. He'll have Sharon start buying the fattier meats at the deli. "There's nothing wrong with needing therapy. I think you're brave for recognizing that. You know, your mother and I were in therapy for a very, very long time. She still goes sometimes, too."

"Really?" Richie lifts his face up to look at Zack.

"Yeah. What do you think her book club meetings are?" He laughs. "After Georgie left we were... not the greatest of parents. We treated Bill like... well, we fell victim to that mindset that hurt people hurt the ones around them. You see a lot of that in this town. We wanted to change, so we started going to therapy together. Now, we're just trying to be the best parents for you kids that we can be. Especially you, Rich. You've been so scared to call us mom or dad, but you shouldn't have to feel that fear in our home. We want this to be a safe place for you, and if therapy is what you need, then I'll make an appointment as soon as you fight this cold. Sound good?"

Richie nods and opens his mouth to respond again, but the nearly lethal amount of medicine that Sharon spoonfed him this morning only causes the boy to fall asleep whilst sitting up, his head rolling back against Zack's hand.