mixtape (reddie)

Chapter 48

Richie braces himself against the cold, his legs shaking as air sneaks up around his ankles. He's started tight rolling them on his own, but he doesn't get it right like Bill does. There's still room around his ankles for snow to eat at whenever he steps into a particularly large snowbank.

The only thing keeping him warm is the tape he's got buried deep in his coat pocket, a Queen album that isn't set to release until next month. Bill says he got it from some guy in a back alley behind a bar, apparently that guy got it when he was staying in London and slept with the lead singer. Richie thought this was the greatest news ever. He's holding an unreleased album from a guy who had sex with Freddie Mercury. His life is officially starting to look up.

The important thing on the tape is the last track. The song he's chosen to give to Eddie, for he sobbed uncontrollably when he first discovered it the night before. His door was locked, the lights were off, and he was hiding beneath his blankets when the chorus first struck. Never in Richie's life has he found something that depicts everything he feels; all his pain and heartbreak, but all his confusing sexuality thoughts as well. Bill was telling Richie all about Queen last night, the stories that Richie's missed out on, news and songs he didn't get to hear, and the one thing seemed to stand out the most to Richie was a single word.

Bisexual.

Most people say he's gay, same thing goes for Bowie. A boy wears makeup, or kisses another man, and the world views him as a homosexual. No other options, it's either heterosexual or just plain gay. Richie never agreed with that, he knew he felt attraction to women the same way he did men, so hearing Bill inform him about how Freddie has made statements about how he just loves to be in love, regardless of gender, Richie felt... like he belonged. He supposes that Queen has always made him feel that way, though. Even when he was just a kid, he's had this ridiculous crush on the band's discography.

No song has hit him the way this one did, and he's not sure if he's ready to open up and share such vulnerable and emotional words with Eddie Kaspbrak.

"Hey there, stranger," he hears over his own thoughts.

Richie lifts his head in alarm, his eyes landing on Eddie's familiar figure walking towards him. Richie's eyes fall downwards, remembering how much he loved this sight. Eddie's footprints walking towards his own, conjoined paths starting their own journey side by side. He likes the snow best when their footsteps overlap, or Eddie's disappear as Richie would often lift the small boy up and carry him around on his back.

They don't do any of this today, they just stop a foot apart. Not conjoining, not crossing paths. A respectable distance.

"It's freezing out, you could have waited inside," Eddie says, gesturing for Richie to follow him towards the door.

"It's okay," Richie shrugs, his voice so very soft spoken. "I wanted to make sure you knew I was here. I didn't want you to think I stood you up."

"I knew you wouldn't," Eddie shakes his head, tugging the door open and welcoming the blast of hot air that crashes out of the aquarium. He begins to slide his mittens off, stuffing them into an already bulging coat pocket.

Richie smiles, but Eddie doesn't see it. Instead, Eddie leads him past all the exhibits of the fish he so dearly loves, leading Richie into the auditorium. Eddie doesn't look back to see if Richie is following, he doesn't have to. Eddie shuffles into the back row, sitting down in the seat he claimed years ago. He fell asleep on Richie's shoulder that day, listening to a mixtape full of love songs his boyfriend had crafted for him.

Things have changed. The two aren't dating, and they're no longer giving each other love songs. Richie isn't sure what to expect from Eddie's song, but he watches the boy pull his own Walkman out of his pocket and fumble with the tape inside of it.