mixtape (reddie)

Chapter 60.

As soon as the dawn breaks over the horizon, Richie is woken with the morning calls of every farm animal in the surrounding barns. The warmth of early July basks over his skin, heavy arms thrown over his waist.

He squints his eyes against the bleary hangover clouding his vision, trying to discern his surroundings and who he's with.

Stan is sitting up, picking the dirt out from under his nails. He notices Richie moving around, his attention diverting towards the male he's sitting next to. Stanley smiles softly, brushing some hair back out of Richie's eyes.

"Today's the day, man."

With those words, Richie sits up abruptly. His heart slams against his rib cage, desperately attempting to escape and run away from the inevitable break it's going to endure today.

"Oh, God," Richie breathes out.

Upon inspection, the barn consists of his friends. No, his family. A group of misfit teenagers who took him in when he had nothing and gave him everything. Bill is sleeping near Beverly, her ankle overlapping his legs in a way that shows hope and a quiet promise to grow and change. Mike is using Ben's thigh as a pillow, and Eddie was curled around Richie. He remembers sleepovers in Ben's basement, quietly touching and whispering in the dark. He remembers truth or dare at Bill's, high stress and rampant emotions. Now, they're leaving high school today. The end of an era. Everything is changing, and Richie can't stand it.

"Why can't we stay kids forever?" Richie whispers, mostly to himself.

"Because," Stan says quietly. He rubs his knuckles against the back of Richie's arm, then strokes the boy's back up and down. Less spine, he's been gaining weight. "We've gotta grow into people that are nothing like our parents."

Richie looks back at his curly haired friend, his eyes watering with nostalgia and the sickening bittersweet ghost of Stan's mouth on his own when he was just a confused teenager. "I want to stay still."

Stan quietly tells him, "But he won't. If you stop moving with him, you guys will lose each other to the sea."

Richie looks down at Eddie, so peacefully asleep. It almost shocks Richie to see him like this, he was expecting the babyfaced germophobe from freshman year. Instead, he fully realizes just how much older Eddie looks. Sharp cheekbones, thicker eyebrows, a straighter nose. He's growing, and Richie cannot stop that. He has no choice but to grow with him.

The graduation ceremony itself is blurry. He sits in a line of students he's never talked to before, but some recognize him from the party last night and give him friendly waves and smiles. He feels like it's a little too late in their high school life to finally be making friends, but he smiles back anyways.

The clothes under his gown itch uncomfortably. None of the losers had time to get ready once they realized they all slept in late, so they scrambled into cars and drove straight to the high school going 55 in a 35 zone. That whole car ride was bad for Richie, he kept disconnecting the whole time. The radio was on, and Eddie was pressed against him and giggling with Ben about something he didn't quite hear. Richie was floating off, drifting from himself and this world around him. He doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to. If he graduates, then Eddie leaves. Two months is a long time away from someone, what if they forget how to feel about one another? They went years apart and Eddie grew to hate Richie in that time, how fast will it take this time?

Now, he sits where he was told to, waiting for his name to be called next. He feels like this is nothing but a death sentence waiting for him, the trepidation sneaking up on him.

When Bowers is called, nobody claps. Not a single soul. Not even his own father, who is sitting in the bleachers with the rest of the student family members. Richie lifts his head for a brief moment, a second of clarity, and he calls from the very back rows "Bowers rules!"