Questioning//BILLIE EILISH

1

"I'm just saying, I think you should ask him out," I urge Mia as we are laying on our fronts in her bed, homework sheets laid out in front of us.

"Oh you're one to talk, Dez" she retorts, "We promised we'd get ourselves boyfriends this year and you've made no effort."

"That's not true, I just haven't found the right guy yet," I reason.

Mia rolls her eyes at me and turns back to her homework.

I love Mia to death, but I wish she'd stop pressuring me into dating. I don't want to choose the wrong guy and end up in a horrible relationship or heartbroken.

Honestly, I just don't see myself happy married. He'd probably want kids and I don't like the idea of birthing a baby, let alone raising one.

He'd probably want to do romantic things, like go out on dates, and I don't like the idea of sitting across from a guy at a table, trying to keep a conversation flowing.

Overall, relationships: not for me.

Maybe I'll just marry myself, I think I saw a news article on that. It was like a feminist stunt, and she stood alone at the alter and everything.

I eventually leave my thoughts and turn back to my work, trying to finish before I have to go home and deal with my loud-ass family.

I live with my mom, dad, brother, and sister. Not as big as some families, but with our personalities, it's a lot.

I finish up my last problem and quickly check the time, realizing I have 15 minutes to walk home.

"Shit, gotta go," I say, watching Mia look up from her page.

"See ya," she responds.

I just grab my stuff and leave. Goodbyes aren't a very big deal for us, as we see each other most every day.

I take my normal route home, passing by a few friends' houses on the way. Sometimes I go in and say 'hi', but I don't have time today.

As a high schooler, it's important for me to keep up with my social circle. I'd say my only real friend is Mia, but all my other friends are nice.

I guess I'm what you would call a popular kid, but I really just like to make friends and talk to people. Being 'popular' just goes along with that.

I walk past Billie's house, hearing loud laughter inside, and I smile, pleasantly surprised. Billie isn't one of my friends, but she goes to my school. She's really quiet and barely ever talks to anyone, and no one really talks to her.

She just draws in that notebook all the time.

I soon find myself approaching my house and I walk in, instantly met with shouting between my brother and sister. I b-line to my room before I get pulled into their quarrel. We should be having dinner soon, so I'm just gonna hide out in here for a while.

I sit on my bed, sighing in exhaustion, and think back to earlier today: "Hey, Sweetheart, when will you finally open up for business? I hear you're really beautiful underneath all that," Brad says, gesturing to my clothes.

In that moment, I felt a sort of flutter in my stomach.

That's butterflies, right?

Maybe I like Brad!

I immediately bounce around in my place, knowing Mia will be pleased to hear the news. I don't see myself marrying him, or even wanting to get anywhere near him, but he gave me butterflies.

I must like him, that's the only explanation-

"Dinner!" my dad shouts from downstairs, and I immediately forget about Brad, my only focus on food.

I walk downstairs to have dinner with my family, sharing about my day in between snide remarks made by my siblings. I don't know what they are fighting about this time, but I don't care enough to listen.

After dinner, I make my way back upstairs to wind down for bed. I get myself all ready and lay down before watching a show on my phone.

As the characters on the screen untangle their drama-filled lives, I can't help but let my mind wander to earlier tonight, when I walked past Billie's house.

It sounded so joyful and loving in there, and the laughter was so genuine. It warmed my heart to know that the quiet girl in school had fun too.

I've never seen Billie laugh before, and I've only ever seen her smile when she's drawing in her journal.

She has such a beautiful smile.

I find my eyelids growing heavy, and shut off my phone, placing it on the charger and rolling back over onto my pillow, letting myself fall into a restful slumber.

.

When I wake up in the morning, I get ready quickly. Mia and I are going to walk to school together, and she is practically a walking clock, on time or early to everything.

I hear a knock on the door, 5 minutes early, and, knowing exactly who it is, I head downstairs to answer it.

"Hey," Mia says in a cheery voice when I open the door.

"Morning," I say, my voice still raspy from sleep.

She just laughs at me and rushes me out the door towards school. On our way, I decide to bring up Brad.

"Hey Mia?" I begin.

She turns her head to me as we walk, "Yeah?"

An excited smile grows on my face as I prepare to tell her the news, "I think I like Brad."

"Omg really?" She inquired, excitement laced in her voice.

I nod my head in conformation, "Yes, really."

"EEEEE," she squeals, causing me to cover my ears, "Finally!"

"So now you have to ask out Wyatt," I relay.

She gives me an annoyed face, "Fine, but only if you ask out Brad."

"Deal."

"Deal."

We walk up to the school, and hardly any students are here yet. I look around as we walk onto the empty campus and notice Billie sitting at a picnic table drawing in her journal, a content smile on her face.

We sit down at a nearby table and I move to sit on the side facing Billie. I don't know why, but I just like to watch her.

That adorable girl.

A/n:

New book!

Thanks for being here and reading it means a lot to me, and I hope you enjoy!