day 8

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it rained all day today. it taunted me, a twisted pathetic fallacy.

maybe you were who the sun shined for. she must have heard all the whispers too and decided without you we were unworthy of her ethereal power

"she ran away with an older man to spain" was the first, quickly the story changed "she had a breakdown and ran away to live in the woods", "she went to live with her aunt after her mum saw her smoking" even, "she's in a coma after a drunken driver ran her down"

the rumours ended when the school made the announcement at morning assembly

"the police have found robin's...
remains"

the weight of those words felt like i had dived off a cliff and as i leapt over the edge the waves broke and revealed rocks just under the waters surface.

in that moment the busy world around me fell silent

i blocked out the gasps and cries, they weren't crying for you they were crying for the spectacle

i wouldn't cry

i wouldn't allow myself to accept that you weren't coming home

you were my home. you were my person

this news was unfathomable. you simply couldn't be gone

you couldn't be dead

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