"Hi." Stevie was the first one to speak up. She wanted to touch him, hug him, kiss him, but she had to restrain herself from doing any of those things.
"Hi." Lindsey replied, holding onto the door handle. He had to fight against pulling her into his arms, telling her how badly he'd missed her, how much he loved her.
Two whole weeks had passed, Stevie hadn't heard from Lindsey once, until he finally called. She hadn't reached out either, because he didn't want her to. She understood, but it didn't make it any easier. She had no idea what was going through his mind. Had he already made a decision regarding their relationship, their marriage? Was she supposed to start packing her things, try to figure out how to go on with her life without him? She prayed there was a way for them to work through this together.
"If you're not sure, I can go." Stevie said, taking in his facial expression, he seemed conflicted.
"No." Lindsey repeated, shaking his head. "No." He stepped aside and she entered his room. "How was the flight?"
Stevie shrugged, unsure of where to look or what to do. "It was alright. How are you? You seem tired."
"Haven't exactly been sleeping well." Lindsey walked over to the couch and Stevie followed after him, leaving some space between them. "How are Adam and Ella doing? I haven't called either of them recently."
"Busy with their own lives." Stevie replied, a small smile on her lips at the mention of their children. "They're barely at home, enjoying summer."
"Right." He nodded, clasping his hands in front of him.
They grew quiet. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Even though they were close, the distance between them felt so great.
"Lindsey, I-"
"I have a question. It's really the only important one." Lindsey interrupted, he turned his head towards Stevie, who kept her lips sealed, waiting. "Don told me that I should get a paternity test."
"What?" Stevie was completely shocked to hear him say that.
"He said, you two were still... a thing around the time you got pregnant with Adam." Lindsey clenched his jaw, breathing heavily, feeling the same anger rise as when he was on the phone with Don.
"That's a lie. A complete lie, Lindsey." She insisted. "I ended our affair way before that. It lasted until we went home from that tour."
"How can I be sure that you're telling me the truth?" Lindsey asked. "You've being lying to me for years and I didn't suspect a thing."
"I swear to you." She lay a hand on her heart. "Adam is your son, Lindsey. How can you question that? He looks exactly like you!"
"I just..." He sighed, hanging his head low. "I don't know what to believe." Shrugging his shoulders, he faced her again. "My whole life has been turned upside-down, Stevie. I can admit that I've made mistakes, that I haven't always treated you right, but I don't think I've ever been horrible enough to push you into another man's arms. I've been questioning everything for the past two weeks. What else have you done behind my back? What else have you kept a secret from me?"
She wanted to say, nothing, but if there was any chance of them working things out, she knew, she had to be completely honest. "Please, let me speak, okay? You're not going to like, what I have to say, but I want you to know."
Swallowing uneasily, Lindsey leaned back against the couch and folded his arms over his chest. "Is your story going to involve a string of other men?"
"No. There hasn't been anyone else." Stevie shook her head. "The first time Don and I..." She trailed off, unable to say it. "You and I had an argument. You told me, I was ruining your night, that you were perfectly fine on your own. We yelled, I told you to fuck off or something, then I left. Don followed me out. At first, he seemed nice, like he just wanted to let me talk about whatever problem I had at the time. I should have gone to our room, I should have." She emphasized. "I wasn't exactly sober and Don invited me to have another drink. I don't know what possessed me to say, yes, but I did. It didn't take long before he..." She gulped, glancing at him, but Lindsey kept his head straight. "Before he started-"
"I get the idea." Lindsey cut her off.
"It wasn't supposed to happen again, ever, but you and I were at odds during that time. You didn't seem to want to be around me and I was mad at you for that. You stayed away, but Don didn't." Stevie shrugged, spinning her wedding ring around her finger. "So, I gave in. I got lost in the world he'd shown me quickly. Don and Joe were, uh... well, they enjoyed more than just hard liquor."
Lindsey frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"Your choice of drug was pot, theirs was cocaine."
"You didn't..." Lindsey said, shaking his head. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, he rubbed his tired eyes.
"I didn't think it was going to do any harm if I just tried it once."
"Oh God..." Lindsey stood up and began pacing around the room. "I'll fucking kill them both."
"I chose to do it, Lindsey. And I liked it. I liked it a little too much." Her eyes brimmed with tears. "The affair would have never gone on for so long if I weren't high most of the time."
"Who are you?" Lindsey yelled out, making her flinch.
Unsure if it was a good idea, Stevie rose to her feet and approached him. She cupped his face and he didn't immediately pull away. "I'm not that person anymore. I stopped a long time ago. I'm not proud of it, Lindsey. If anything, I realized how much I loved you. I didn't want to be involved in that world. I saw it and for a while it seemed great, until it didn't. Until I understood how destructive it was. Until I knew that I could lose you."
"How can you say that?" Lindsey stepped back. "How can you just stand here and tell me, you loved me, when you were fucking someone else? When you were doing coke, just because I was busy with the tour?"
"I know how it sounds, but it's true. Lindsey, I loved you then and I love you know, I love you with all of my heart." She reached out to touch him again, but he instantly pushed her away. "I-I'll leave if you want me to. We can-"
"Yeah, I do." Lindsey nodded. "I want you to get the hell out of my sight before I do or say something I'll regret later."
