(This is for fun- the new chapter will be done in 3 days)
Philza: 'Tommy.'
Tommy: 'Philza.'
Philza: 'when I asked you to get something from the beach I meant like a shell or something, not that. You dumb child' -face palms-
Tommy: -holding a pigeon- 'you never said 'go get me a shell Tommy' did you?'
______
Wilbur's last words: 'do it'
Tommy's last words: 'stop it'
Philza's last words: 'Bop it'
Techno's last words: 'twist it'
______
Tommy meeting Ranboo: 'I believe in hate at first sight'
_____
Tommy: 'y'know, we're like brothers!'
Wilbur:
Tommy: 'Wha- are you crying??'
Wilbur, crying: 'No, I'm having an allergic reaction.'
Tommy: 'to what???'
Wilbur: 'to you'
______
Tommy: 'Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Ranboo is walking in this room. '
Tubbo: *wheeze*
______
*Tommy is casually searching around the room*
Ranboo: 'Hey Tommy, what're you looking for?'
Tommy: 'My will to live.'
*tubbo walks into the room*
Tommy: 'Oh, there it is.'
______
Techno: 'You'd be stupid to lay a hand on me.'
Wilbur : 'Oh, you'd be surprised how much stupid shit I do.'
______
Badboyhalo: 'Damn, the power went out.'
Skeppy : "Don't worry, I got this."
Skeppy : *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Badboyhalo: 'What-? '
Skeppy : 'I swallowed a glow stick!'
Badboyhalo, on the verge of tears: 'WHY WOULD YOU-'
_____
Skeppy: 'Who the fuck-'
Bad boy halo : 'Language!'
Skeppy: 'Whom the fuck- '
Badboyhalo: 'No.'
_____
Sapnap: 'Guess what number I'm thinking of. '
Dream: '420? '
Sapnap: 'No, that's really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.'
George: '69.'
Sapnap: 'Yeah it was 69.'
____
Badboyhalo, watching Sapnap and George fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Dream, not bothered by the chaos: It's fine. They're too evenly matched to hurt each other.
Badboyhalo: Then... who's the strongest out of you three?
Sapnap: Dream.
George: Dream.
Dream: Me.
_____
Sapnap: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Badboyhalo: I sleep with my pillow underneath a pillow.
George : Both of you are pathetic.
Sapnap: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
George: Dream.
_____
Tommy : That's not funny.
Tubbo : I thought it was funny.
Tommy : You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.
_______
Ranboo: Did it hurt when you fell-
Tubbo: From heaven? Wow, I didn't think you were such a flirt-
Ranboo: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.
Tubbo : ...
Ranboo: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
_____
Dream: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it's so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.
_____
Wilbur: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!
_____
Karl: Are you trying to seduce me?
Quackity: Why, are you seducible?
_____
Quackity: Some people are like slinkies.
Karl: What?
Quackity: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Karl:
Karl: Please don't push Sapnap down the stairs.
Quackity, pushing Sapnap down the stairs: Too late.
_____
Dream: Alright, listen up you little shits.
Dream: Not you George . You're an angel and we're thrilled you're here.
_____
Dream: *sees someone doing something stupid*
Dream: What an idiot.
Dream: *realizes it's George *
Dream: Wait, that's MY idiot!
____
Tommy: Look guys, I need help.
Tubbo: Love help?
Wilbur: Financial help?
Ranboo: Emotional help?
Techno: Help moving a body?
*Everybody looks at Techno*
Techno: What?
____
Techno: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Tommy: ... Your what?
Techno: My friends.
Wilbur: Is he saying "friends"?
Tubbo: I think he is being sarcastic.
Ranboo: No, no, no, this is delirium, he's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Techno! All of your friends are in this room.
Techno: you sure, last time I checked, I didn't have friends that are such idiots.
Ranboo: never mind then this isn't delirium. *sighs sadly*
____
Quackity: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....
Philza: ....
Wilbur: .....
Sapnap: ......
Karl: ..Who?
Quackity: That's the thing we don't-
*Everyone stares at Karl*
___
Wilbur: You're acting pretty carefree for someone who's life's at stake. Who's to say you aren't the killer?
Sapnap: It's a murder, not a tax audit. I'll be fine.
Philza: What about Karl? Nobody ever suspects Karl!
Karl: Well what about Quackity? They have a gun!
Quackity: Wilbur has a knife.
Wilbur: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Philza in the arm*
Philza: FÛCKING HELL WILBUR
Part 2?
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(HEAVILY BEING RE-WRITTEN!!!) Tommyinnit Oneshots ; Mostly Angst
Fanfiction[This book is old and i mean old. I haven't thought of updating it at all. But I've decided to publicise it again just for the memories :) ] I Kin Tommy. I mean, come on, who doesn't? (Okay no need to answer that.) These are being rewrote, that's wh...
