Secret Alliance - Johanna Mason x fem reader

Chapter 6 - Broken

When I woke up again, I felt like crap. At least until the memories flooded my mind and I sat up abruptly making my rib hurt. Johanna watched me tiredly. Slowly I calmed down. Johanna and I did not talk until our breakfast arrived. I did not even attempt to touch it. "If you don't eat, you will get sedatives through an infusion", Johanna told me. "They wanted to give you an infusion, when you passed out, because your physical and mental health are running downhill. But I persuaded them to wait and give you one last chance to change something yourself", she explained. "Thanks", I whispered exhausted. Reluctantly I began eating until my plate was empty. I could have sworn that I had seen Johanna smile at that, but it had vanished so quickly that I could not be sure.

Soon later the psychologist visited us. He was sitting on a chair in front of our beds eyeing especially me. Feeling uncomfortable I pulled up the blanket higher and averted his gaze. "So, the nurses told me about yesterday. Would you like to tell me anything about that?" I stayed silent making Johanna sigh in annoyance. I was grateful that she was not just telling him everything. "You both know that you're safe here, right?" "Don't give us that shit again", Johanna growled. "It's important for you to recognize that you're in district 13 now and that we're trying to help you", he clarified calmly. "Oh! That's why we aren't even allowed to leave our room like we're trapped inside a damn cell again?! And that you attempt to fill us with sedatives, whenever we don't act like you want us to?! Or that we only get a certain amount of food, no matter whether we are still hungry?! And I'm not even talking about the fact that the nurses were holding (f/n) down forcibly", Johanna exclaimed sarcastically. "Don't tell us that we're safe! You've no idea what you're talking about!" The psychologist was taken aback by Johanna's outburst. Maybe because everything she had said was actually true. An uncomfortable silence had settled between the three of us. "Where are your wise words?", Johanna encouraged him sarcastically. "I don't have a reply for that, except that you are right. With the difference that we are not trying to harm but to help you. And the rules are important here in 13. Without them everything down here would erupt in chaos", he stated calmly. "Alright. Your physical state is stable enough to leave the room. It's your mental state we are all concerned about. Johanna, you're already addicted to the morphling. We'll start decreasing the amount each day. And (f/n), you had a breakdown yesterday and neither sleep nor eat. Maybe you should reconsider getting sedatives to give your body and mind a chance to rest." "So if I eat and tell you about my experiences at the Capitol, then I'm allowed to leave the room?", I reassured. "Exactly." It infuriated me that there were conditions to let me out of here. I was 19 years old and they told me I was not a captive anymore. Hard to believe if you could not really decide anything for yourself except obeying or not. "Poison", I stated. Johanna looked surprised that I was talking about it now. "I guess it was a neurotoxin. They injected it. That's why I don't want to get anything through injections or infusions", I explained emotionlessly. "I see. I will talk to the nurses to prevent them from trying to force you to get any kind of injection." I simply nodded trying to suppress the flashbacks. But they got me during my sleep. Johanna and I were both chained to opposite walls. She was furiously trying to break free, even though the pain and exhaustion were clearly written over her face. I felt a stinging feeling on my arm, which soon faded into the background as an immense pain overpowered my entire being. It felt like my body was on fire, like someone had filled me with acid. I lost control over my body. My own screams echoed in my ears as I was thrashing around crying desperately. But the pain just did not stop. Through my blurry vision I could see Johanna struggling even harder than before. She was saying something, but I could not make out her words. Slowly her voice became louder. "(f/n)!" My eyes opened to meet Johanna's. Though my vision was actually blurry because I was crying. I felt bad for waking her up. Usually I did not scream but only whimper during my nightmares. My rib hurt from my wild movements. Without saying another word Johanna pulled her morphling infusion over, pushed me a bit to the side and laid down next to me. For a moment I tensed up when she pulled me closer to her, into her arms. But as I calmed down I snuggled even closer to her enjoying her warmth and comforting smell. "Jo", I cried quietly. Gently she stroke my head until I fell back asleep. I had tried to resist but Johanna's company had been too soothing. For the first time in weeks I did not dream at all.