Secret Alliance - Johanna Mason x fem reader

Chapter 7 - Back To The Roots

It took a while until Johanna was back to her senses. Annie had visited us most of the time to prevent being alone and worrying about her husband even more. But she had stopped visiting when Johanna had overcome her fearful, broken state and switched to angry mode. She was snappy all the time, because she was angry with herself that she had failed the exam and was not able to fight. I gave my best dealing with her mood, but it was tough. Johanna snapped at me the whole time, no matter what I was doing. It was always wrong and annoyed her even more. From time to time I considered leaving her alone. So, she could calm down, but I knew that cursing was her way to cry out for help. So, I just granted me a break to go and visit the anxious Annie sometimes. When Finnick's death was announced in TV, Annie broke completely down and I needed to take care of both Annie and Johanna, which was difficult to combine, because Annie could not deal with Johanna's outbursts and Johanna was annoyed by Annie's constant crying. "You are pregnant and Finnick doesn't know?", I exclaimed surprised. "I didn't want to hold him back. Snow needs to pay and Finnick wanted to be a part of it", Annie explained crying. Johanna was currently training to distract herself and deal with her anger. "I'm so sorry, Annie. But you are not all alone. I will help you", I promised. "But what about Johanna?", she worried. "She is not as tough and aggressive as you think. It's just her way to cope." "Does that really justify how reckless she is, especially towards you?", Annie questioned. Johanna was insecure and did not know how to deal with her feelings. After all I was the only one she really loved. At least that was what I wanted to think. I had always had low self-esteem and worried if Johanna was still loving me or if she was staying with me out of guilt. Because I had suffered at the Capitol due to our relationship. "(f/n)?" "Hm? Oh, yeah! The situation is just extreme and the Capitol kinda broke us all. We all need to learn how to deal with that." "Maybe you are right", she agreed, sadly stroking her stomach.

The next days were a complete fuss. Coin and Snow had been killed. It took several weeks until everything was settled and a new era began under the provisional leadership of Paylor of district 8. Johanna and I were currently inside a hovercraft on the way back to district 7. My heart sank when I noticed the destruction that had settled over our home. Johanna was behaving strangely since we had left district 13. Was she nervous? When we arrived, we climbed down the latter. It was odd to move so freely. "Back to the roots, huh?!", Johanna mumbled. I set off toward my old home. It felt like ages had passed since I had been forced to leave my home. After a few steps I noticed that Johanna was not following me. She just stood there, frozen in place. "Jo? Don't you wanna come?" I was truly scared by her behavior. Was she planning to leave me now? Slowly she closed the distance between us until we were standing in front of each other again. "(f/n) ... I'm sorry." I looked at her, confused and anxious. "Because of me you had to endure so much. And I noticed that you behaved differently around me since our time at the Capitol. You tense whenever I touch you. And you didn't kiss me even once. Are we really coming back here together? Do you still want to stay with me?" It was rare for her to speak so honestly and calmly at the same time. Tears shot into my eyes: "I'm sorry, Jo. I still love you. It's just ..." I paused trying to find the right words and the courage to say them out loud. To my surprise Johanna was waiting patiently. "There is something I haven't told you. Something that happened at the Capitol." I took a deep breath: "I was afraid to tell you because I thought you might not love me anymore. Because I felt disgusting and worthless." Johanna looked hurt. Before I knew it, she had pulled into a tight embrace. "I was raped by the peacekeeper, who brought us food. That's why I stopped eating." The tears were streaming down my cheeks now as I was sobbing and clinging onto Johanna. She held me even tighter. "You idiot. I'm so sorry. I love you", she whispered. I loosened the embrace and tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept flowing. Before I could hesitate, I kissed Johanna. It was salty due to my tears, but that did not matter. "So you still want to marry me?", I asked nervously. "Of course, silly. How could I let you go now that I finally have the chance to keep you", she laughed agitated. I took her hand in mine and lead her toward my house. I could not muster the courage to open the door. Johanna squeezed my hand backing me up. Slowly I opened the door. "Hello?", I called out. At first there was no answer for a long time, but then (s/n) appeared. "(f/n)?" She ran toward me and jumped in my arms with so much energy that we would have fallen backwards if Johanna had not caught me. "(s/n)? Where are mum and dad?" She shook her head no. They had not made it. Tears gathered in my eyes again and Johanna pulled me closer. "What is going to happen now?", my little sister worried. "We are victors", Johanna suddenly exclaimed. "Not just survivors, but victors. We will figure something out", she grinned at us.

Over the next months a new normality settled in. The districts were working hand in hand with the Capitol now and everything was distributed fairly. Panem was not a place of one city and its slaves anymore. We were one nation, one country, in which everyone supported each other and was allowed to move freely. Johanna and I were still living in district 7. We had moved to her old victor house together with (s/n). Almost every weekend we visited Annie and her son. There were still a lot of wounds that had to heal. Scars that would not vanish. But something had happened that we would have never expected to be possible. We did not have to hide anymore. We were finally free.

THE END

-------------------

It's over! I dunno what to say and how to feel. It's the first fanfiction I actually finished. I love Johanna so much and am happy that you guys seem to love her too. Thanks for sticking with me and reading, voting for, commenting on my story. I really appreciate it. Sending lots of love to all of you <3

Actually I'm already writing a new Johanna x fem reader, but this time with a victor from district 11. Would you like to read it? Please, let me know in the comments and also tell me what you think about Secret Alliance and the last chapter.