" When I saw you for the first time, I knew I won't forget about you easily. And I was right, in those years there was no day or night I haven't thought of you. You are the one who lights my life up, and I would be lost without you."
" Your father Sultan Ahmed passed away. May he rest in peace." I said as I gathered all my children in my chambers. I was too weak to stand on my legs and Kalika and Aybige held my hands.
Everyone gathered in Harem due to Ahmed's funeral. Everyone had tears on their face.
I tried to stay as stronger as I could, not because of me, but because of my children. I knew hard times were in front of us. I knew I will have to fight with all my power to save my children.
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They took Ahmed's coffin for the last time through the Harem. My heart was broken when I saw my husband is there and I won't be able to see him any more time. I will never be able to go and meet him again and to talk with him until late hours.
I will never be able to call him 'my love' anymore. I will never be able to hug him warm and smell his beautiful scent. I will never be able to kiss his lips anymore and I will never feel safe anywhere else while he is not next to me.
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I had no strength for life. If I could, I would take my life only with one cup of poison. But I had to be here. For my children. I had to be strong to help them and give my everything for their future to be successful.
Halime Sultan walked closer to me as she took me in a hug. Even though Ahmed meant nothing to her, he saved her son from sure death. He allowed Mustafa to live.
" One day you will reunite together, Mahnaz. Be strong for your children and don't let sadness make you do anything bad to yourself." Halime said while she hug me and I couldn't stop tears from my eyes.
" I swear you with my life I will protect Mehmed, Murad, Kasim, Bayezid, Ibrahim. You will be always with your daughters who will give you strength. You will be always able to meet with your sons as you allowed me to meet Mustafa. Even a hair won't fall from their head. I swear to you." Halime said to comfort me.
My children gathered around me. All of us were dressed in black. My triplets were crying and I could do nothing to help them. My elder children tried to be strong, but they were hurted a lot.
" Mother, I will take care of my brothers. You have nothing to worry. I want you to take care of yourself. Be strong for us. One day you will enter this Palace as Valide Sultan and no one will be able to do anything bad to you or us." Mehmed said and hugged me.
I know after this I would have to separate from my children. I knew I would have to go to the Old Palace.
" Listen to your uncle Mustafa and his orders. He will be Sultan from now on. Listen to Halime and Dilruba Sultan. Don't make any incidents and protect your siblings." I said to Mehmed while tears continued to go down my eyes.
" Mustafa!" I could hear Dilruba yelling Mustafa's names and I turned around immediatley.
Halime ran and I followed her and we went to Mustafa's chambers. We saw him laying down on the floor with knife inside his stomach. Someone killed Mustafa.
" Mustafa." Halime yelled and went down on her knees to see lifeless body of her only son.
I couldn't believe what happened at this moment, but I was sure who did it. I knew Mahfiruz and Osman had their fingers in it.
" We did what was important. Now you should bow me, because I am Valide Sultana." I heard a voice and turned around to see Mahfiruz standing there proudly.
" How can you kill my brother? He should have ascended the throne today." Dilruba yelled on Mahfiruz. Her eyes were covered in tears and she was so agressive.
" To help my son ascend the throne. Now you will go with me into the Tower of Justice to watch new Sultan coming on his throne." Mahfiruz said and this was what I and Ahmed feared the most.
I feared for the lives of my sons. I knew Osman would be ready to do something bad to them. I know he would kill them if he would get a chance.
We went to the Tower of Justice. Mahfiruz went there first, followed by Halime, Dilruba and me. All three of us today lost part of our soul.
" HIS IMPERIAL MAJEYTY SULTAN OSMAN KHAN HAZERTLERI!"
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All the soldiers bowed down to Osman and promised him on their loyality. My nightmares came true. My children weren't safe with Osman and Mahfiruz.
"Mahnaz and Halime. You will leave to the Old Palace. Dilruba, you will stay here until we find you suitable husband." Mahfiruz said.
" I will go with my mother." Dilruba yelled on Mahfiruz, but Mahfiruz didn't care about it.
" Mahnaz, you will go with your daughters. But your sons will stay here locked in the Palace." Mahfiruz said to me and raised her head proudly.
" If anything bad happens to my sons. Even if a hair falls down from their head, I will burn this Palace together with you. All those soldiers that promised on loyality to your sons will return to take his life. Take care what you are doing." I said to Mahfiruz as I was ready to leave.
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" Don't threat me now when you aren't in place to do it. I am Valide Sultan, I can kill you with my one order." Mahfiruz said and laughed to me.
" Your tenure won't last long. Remember my words." I said to her and started to walk away, but she stopped me.
" Give me the ring you have. Hurrem Sultan's ring." Mahfiruz ordered me. I turned to look at her and just laughed at her face.
" This is the ring that ascends from generation to generation, it is not my fault you haven't ascended it." I said and left Topkapi Palace together with my five daughters.
