The Mimic

85

Y/n tensed up at the sound of Bucky's voice. It was a bitter mixture of relief and guilt. She was happy that Bucky was well enough to be awake, but y/n was also that put him into a state like this. His voice was hoarse and raspy from all the coughing and wheezing last night, yet she could still hear the gentleness in his tone. Y/n couldn't even look him in the eyes, taking shaky breaths as she stared down at the ground. She was trying her hardest to fight back tears, the image of him bleeding out replaying in her mind over and over again. She didn't understand why Bucky was still holding her hand, she was expecting him to push her away like everyone else was. "I'm sorry." Y/n whispered brokenly, blinking hard in attempt to get rid of the tears. She begun to try and pull her hand away from Bucky's as she spoke, almost as if she was trying to soften the blow of Bucky letting her go.

But, Bucky didn't let y/n let go of his hand. It wasn't a tight hold, she could still slip her hand away easily, but it was enough to show y/n that he didn't want to let go. He frowned at the sight of her. God, she looked destroyed. All he wanted was to pull her close and never let go, but he couldn't. "For what? You and I both know that wasn't you. It wasn't your fault, y/n." He murmured, trying to get y/n to look him in the eyes. Bucky continued to rub his thumb over her knuckles, his eyes trained on the broken look on y/n's face. He hated seeing her like this. So tired, so broken, so stressed. It was a side that not many people saw, people usually only saw the bubbly side of y/n, but Bucky understood that look on her face far too well. 

Y/n shook her head over and over as frustration and guilt begun to bubble over. She felt so stupid for falling for Zemo's tricks. It was like taking candy from a baby, it was easy. All Zemo had to do was give her that doll and she was like putty in his hands. "It was my fault, it was! My hands were the ones on that knife. Mine." Y/n argued, beginning to raise her voice slightly. She was angry with herself for causing all of this, for almost killing the one person that meant the most to her. "I watched as that knife sunk into your chest. I punched you over, and over, and over-" Y/n cut herself off as she realised the tears were falling down her cheeks. She was drowning in guilt, there didn't seem to be a possible way that Bucky could forgive her in her mind. Y/n turned her head away from Bucky as she begun to cry, she wasn't supposed to be crying, she was the villain here.

Bucky's face softened into sadness and sympathy as he watched y/n break down. "Hey, hey..." He whispered, squeezing y/n's hand in attempt to get her attention again. "Come here, Doll. Come closer." Bucky cooed, gently tugging on her arm. Her own mind was destroying her, something that the rest of the team could never understand. Being brainwashed has always been a brutal thing. It's as if you're sat in the backseat of your own mind. No control. The only thing you can do is watch as you mindlessly ruin people's lives. Bucky had promised y/n that they'd never go back to that. Yet here they were. 

Once y/n shuffled the chair closer to Bucky, he reached out to cup her face with one of his hands. "Look at me, y/n." He whispered, a small smile appearing on his face as y/n finally made eye contact with him. Her eyes were watery and tired, it was obvious she didn't sleep well. "Does it look like I'm upset with you? Because I'm not. Not one bit." He hummed, gently wiping her tears away with his thumb. "You can't blame yourself for what happened. We've both been there far too many times. But guess what? I'm okay. Bruce told me that everyone's okay." Bucky murmured, moving his hand away from y/n's face so he could take both of her hands in his. "There's no blood on these hands. Maybe a few bruises and cuts, oh, and some toothpaste, but I can't see any blood." He smiled, wiping the toothpaste off of the back of y/n's hand. 

Y/n rolled her eyes with a slight smile as Bucky mentioned the toothpaste. She hadn't even realised. She was relieved beyond belief that Bucky wasn't upset with her. After seeing Wanda's face last night, she really believed that she'd ruined relationships with everyone. It was nice to just be around Bucky, to see that dopey smile on his face, and to feel the warm of his hands in hers. She sniffled slightly as she let Bucky explore her hands and all the different cuts and bruises that covered them. Her hands were destroyed from last night, but the most prominent one was a purple bruise that spanned across both hands, in a perfect straight line. It was where Steve's shield had hit her. If it wasn't for the numbness and the fact that y/n had been in shock, y/n would've been in a lot of pain. But now y/n just seemed to ignore it, other people were in more pain than her. Y/n watched as Bucky traced the bruised line, wincing as he accidentally pressed a little too hard. "Cap's shield." She murmured.

"You need to ice that." Bucky hummed, apologising for pressing too hard. He didn't like seeing y/n hurt, she didn't deserve it. "I still feel bad for cutting your cheek. It looks sore." He frowned, moving to cup y/n's cheek again. Natasha had stitched the wound up pretty well, leaving a pretty clean line across the side of her face. He traced the line slowly before tracing the bruise across her cheekbone and the cut on her lip, basically just taking the time to explore her face. Seeing her so beaten up made him feel slightly annoyed, nobody should've hit her that hard (even though it was probably the only way to stop y/n from hurting them even further). "Do you want me to get Bruce in? He can probably take a look and see if you need anything." He offered genuinely. 

Y/n couldn't help but laugh slightly as she moved her face away from Bucky's reach, gently pushing his hands down. He was so protective over her, it was funny. Even on missions he did this. Y/n could handle herself, she was an adult. But it was nice to be fussed over by him, it felt normal, and it was just nice to feel loved. "No, no. I'm fine, Buck." She smiled, pressing gentle kisses to his knuckles. "Why're you fussing over me? I'm not the one in the hospital bed. I should be the one fussing over you." Y/n hummed with raised eyebrows. Bucky shook his head with a slight laugh, leaning back as he covered his eyes with his metal arm. "Oh god, please don't." He chuckled. Bucky could have a hole through his head and he'd still swat y/n away from fussing him. "Well don't fuss over me then! I'm not a baby." Y/n laughed, poking his side when Bucky lifted his arm up.

Nat was right. They were fine. They were perfectly fine.