a summer fling

inconsiderate

he dropped a bomb. she was waiting for him for days. the last time they met was on a saturday and since then she was busy with calls from her clubs and her friends. she has also been dying with suspense from the show that they were watching together. it was a thing for them to watch shows together and make sure that they finished it together even if one of them had already watched the show. she seemed excited to talk with him, it's been long since they had called each other. but when they were halfway, he said how there was something that he wanted to talk about.

feeling uneasy, she asked him what's going on in his mind. he always liked the fact that she is the type of person who talks about things rather than keeping it in. Adelia knows that resolving things now is better than letting the issue explode later on. The thing about these two is they have completely different goals in life. He wants to stay in his home country, get married and have kids after getting his degree. but adelia is completely different. She wants to get out of their home country, study overseas and marriage was a last option for her. he felt that they were not going to work out in the long run.

Adelia assured him that she might come back after completing her studies overseas. she has to, because of her parents. but he cannot bear the fact that they were going to be apart. he said that after his tough time in the army, he will need her the most. he doesn't want to think about his girlfriend going to parties, socialising with others. he was scared and she had to assure him. but adelia isn't dumb. She knew where this was going. so he asked her to think of this topic and all she said was to just play the show that they were watching.

she couldn't even focus on what the show was about anymore. then all the thoughts came upon her, maybe that was why the texts were slowing down from him, why the both of them didn't switch on their cameras like always, why the mood was down the entire time. both of them watched an episode that night. at the end of the episode, she could feel that she wasn't thinking straight anymore. he said 'i love you' to her and like always she said back. but he couldn't hear, maybe she was too soft or she wanted to hide the fact that she was starting to choke up. so she said it again louder, hoping that he could hear her clearly and hoping that he didn't notice how her voice was different.

they ended the call, and the tears started to flow down. She didn't want to lose him, she never wanted to lose him at all. sending a text saying how she wanted to be selfish, assuring him that her mind may change - that she will eventually get married or she will come back after studying overseas, how she doesn't want to let him go. and all he said was that they will talk when they meet cause he felt that he was going to be easier.

easier, his ass. it was like taking candy from a child. The talk lasted ten to fifteen minutes. Adelia thinks that Ethan had never expected that it was going to be easy. All she did was just agree to what he said when two nights ago, she was begging for him to stay. it didn't make her sad, she was pissed instead.

She had planned an outfit to look pretty for their supposed date. she planned it three days ago, at 1 am with her best friend being her fashion advisor. Adelia thought that it was going to be a museum date where they will take pictures, and go for a picnic at a nearby park while eating burritos and a salad bowl, and paint animal paintings that she was planning to buy, one of them laying down on the other's lap while listening to songs. enjoying their own quality time. well that was what she thought.

They met later as he had to stay at home for some matters and Adelia didn't mind that. In fact, she wanted to postpone it to a Sunday instead since he had gone out for 2 consecutive days. She lied saying how there were some issues that she needed to resolve but she changed her mind. she felt that it was better to get done with than getting hurt. not feeling confident of her decision, she spun the wheel on a website. funny how, that website was the one that made her decisions for her. as if the website could read her mind, the wheel stopped at 'meet tomorrow and get it done with'.

she woke up earlier than usual the night before she had fallen asleep at 5 am. she was too busy binge watching her series. She showered at a later time and for her late breakfast or lunch, she made scrambled eggs and added cheese. she toasted herb bread slices, added lettuce, some chili sauce and mayonnaise and placed her scrambled eggs with the perfectly melted cheese. wanting to stay sober, she made a strong coffee.

Ethan was taking a long time, longer than what Adelia expected. so she put on her makeup slowly. She did her normal skincare first and started with powder on her face. It's been a long time since she used her foundation since she only used it for special occasions and she knows that today was definitely not a special occasion. She went for pink, smoky makeup. the usual makeup that she always wears whenever she goes out casually.

Adelia was feeling jittery all over her body, hands shaking as she drawed her winged eyeliner. it was brand new and the ink felt cold on her skin. she started with her left eye which failed, like expected. since adelia was right-handed, might as well start with her right eye, and there it was.

a perfect winged eyeliner in weeks. feeling confident, she tried to draw exactly the same way she did for her right eye. her hands were shaking and Adelia definitely knew that it wasn't due to her drawing a winged eyeliner. it was something else that is making her feel this way, but she cannot piece it together. or she didn't want it to be pieced together.

her second time failed so she removed it with her makeup remover and applied her powder again. She failed again and again. letting out a big sigh, she tried for the last time. but the same thing happened again so she decided to not just use eyeliner at all, thus she removed the perfect winged eyeliner on her right eye.

She ironed her clothes and when she was almost ready, her mother pointed out her outfit didn't match. Not wanting to argue with her mother, she ironed her new outfit and changed again. She packed her bag which felt strangely light. she packed a picnic mat since they were going to a picnic right? and she packed her laptop since she felt that she could do her work at the library while waiting for Ethan to finish. Adelia wanted to leave early since her mother was bugging her saying that people go to picnic in the morning but yet it was already evening.

she had everything ready, she took a video to show off her fit and when she was walking to the train station. she got a text saying that he was on his way. and at that moment, she wanted to throw her laptop at him. She was too lazy to go back and did not want to hear her mother asking her why she came back. so adelia carried the heavy bag. wanting to get rid of her shaking hands, she decided to buy a bottle of coke. She thought she had enough cash, but she was 10 cents short and she was too lazy to withdraw money.

so she went to the convenience store and bought it using her card. before she went inside the train, she opened the bottle hoping that it would get rid of her shakiness. Adelia had never felt this way in a long time. The last time she felt this kind of feeling was when she was taking her national mathematics paper. She had to buy a bottle of coke before meeting her teacher for a last minute consultation. She needed her maths teacher to help her calm down, but it was impossible. It's the weekend.