The King is Dead

Obstinacy

Shouto learned when he was six that every fight is futile. There is no winning against those who have more strength than you. There is no getting stronger for him, he is as he was born. There's no changing your weaknesses, only hiding them and upping your strengths.

Every fight is futile, and he can tell Eraserhead lost the fight against his apparent boyfriend, Hizashi. The man doesn't look pleased as Shouto is shown around a small apartment, his arms are crossed and his eyes are narrowed, not at Shouto but at his boyfriend. Hizashi doesn't seem to notice, either that or he's ignoring the rude behavior.

In the past month, he's done too much and he misses the days where he knew what he could do and say and the safe and unsafe of his world. There's a void he goes to when he has no clue, sometimes he'll miss hours or just minutes, there are times he thinks he misses a month or more. It's better though, an entire month on vacation from his father while his body endures and he watches from above. The body isn't his for just the month, and he feels okay with that.

Two weeks ago he was taken to the barbershop. They shaved the back of his head and trimmed his bangs and he hated being touched, they didn't ask him. He was used to that. It was familiar.

He wanted to ask why they cut his hair, why they want to expose his scar to the world more but he can't bring himself to. Wakabayashi seems excited around him and he can't ruin that mood. Asking questions makes people angry, he'll keep his mouth shut.

The next day, Wakabayashi drove him to a dental office. They pried his mouth open and told him he has beautiful teeth, Shouto doesn't think much of it. He doesn't care. They cleaned and stuffed these little cards in his mouth, a light flashed and he got to see x-rays of his teeth. It was weird, he slips and doesn't wake up until midnight.

The day after that, he went to a big building with tinted glass windows and elevators. Inside, he was told to recite the letters shown to him. He really didn't want to, but it was an order. He liked orders, it gave him clarity on what he can do.

The eye doctor told him he's pretty much blind in his left eye by legal standards, probably because of his scar. He needs to wear a contact. She said something about nerve damage but Shouto stopped listening after she mentioned the burned skin. It was painful and he wanted to peel it off but father would hurt him if he tried. Stand still, don't twitch, don't speak. It's the safest he can stay now.

Hizashi signs to him. He likes that. He doesn't want to hear people sometimes and he's not allowed to talk. He is. They want him to talk. Father doesn't want him to talk. He's trying to stay with Hizashi until they punish him, it's a comfort he wants to keep for the moment.

Hizashi is signing to him as he shows him around the house. There's an animal fur-covered couch with a black carpet underneath. The TV is huge, there are speakers surrounding it. The kitchen is smaller than the living room, grey marble counters and dark oak cabinets. There's a single bowl of fruit in the middle, next to the expensive coffee machine. It's nothing like how he's used to and the doors and walls aren't paper-thin. He won't be able to hear when they come to discipline him.

Shouto is watching Hizashi's hands when he sees something move out of the corner of his eye. It's small and grey, large green eyes looking up at him with dilated pupils. Without thinking, he grabs onto Hizashi's shirt and hides behind the man. It's cowardly and he's sure he'll be beaten for it but whatever that thing is, it could be worse than getting punched.

Hizashi puts a hand on his shoulder and it feels so, so heavy. It's burning and he wants it off but he won't say anything. His breathing is picking up because not only did he show weakness, but he's still holding on and he can't seem to let go. His hand is locked onto the shirt and everything is turning hot around him but Hizashi is just reassuring him endlessly.