Messed Up || Chanlix

Chapter 35

Felix came home extremely late that night, ignoring the countless texts from Chan and his parents. The younger boy came home around 2 AM, slowly opening the door to avoid making too much noise.

He stumbled inside the nearly pitch black house, the hallway light being the only thing helping him navigate through the dark rooms. He crawled upstairs as quietly as possible, making a few banging noises from his drunken stumbling. He quickly ran to his room, only to be met with the sight of Chan sleeping on his bed.

"What are you doing?" Felix spoke harshly towards the sleeping lump on his bed. Chan didn't respond, only groaning at the sound of his brother's voice. Felix scoffed, lazily jumping onto the other side of his bed and shaking Chan awake.

"Wake your ass up, dammit." The small boy spoke, slurring on a few of his words.

Chan's eyes fluttered open, a smile almost immediately decorating his features. "Felix! Are you okay? You haven't answered any of my calls or texts." He questioned, resting a hand onto his brother's shoulder. Felix looked completely out of it, hair messy, clothes disheveled, and his red and glassy eyes struggled to stay opened.

Felix reeked of weed and alcohol. The older boy's smiled quickly faded, turning into a frown. "What did you do, Lix?" Chan asked, voice stern and laced with disappointment.

"It doesn't fucking matter what I did." The small boy hiccuped, lazily laying down on the bed and smiling foolishly to himself.

"Why did you go out and get wasted?" Was all Chan asked. The small boy was clearly drunk and high. He was acting like an idiot. Felix always acted this way whenever under the influence, giggly yet so annoyed by everything.

Chan hated whenever his brother would get use drugs. It was honestly the biggest turn off in his eyes. He knew Felix was at a bad place mentally. He only abused drugs whenever things got really bad. He did stupid things and never took anything serious when under the influence. He was basically just a worse version of himself.

"You wouldn't help me forget so I found somebody who would." Felix giggled.

Chan felt his heart skip a beat in distaste. "And who was that?" He asked, visibly growing annoyed with his brother.

"Mmm, it's a secret." Felix laughed even louder, watching his older brother's face contort into disgust. "I promised I wouldn't tell anybody." Felix stopped laughing for a moment, taking in Chan's facial features. "You look mad. Did I make you mad, Channie?" Felix pouted, giggling even more when Chan scoffed.

"I like when you're mad at me. It's really hot." Felix giggled, lazily getting up and crawling on top of Chan, stumbling on the way. "Can you- can you help me forget now?" The small boy seductively asked, slowly running a finger up his older brother's chest. Chan didn't say a word, he kept his eyes glued onto the boy on top of him. His anger slowly reaching its boiling point.

"I like when you look angry... When you get jealous. Mmm, Channie..." Felix moaned, head rolling back and eyes fluttering shut. He laughed even more before snapping his head back down to lock eyes with Chan. His smile fading quickly upon seeing his brother who was obviously not into it.

"Get off of me." Chan spoke harshly. Felix remained on Chan's lap, staring intently at his brother. "And what if I don't want to?" Felix shot back. "Lix, I'm serious." Felix just giggled and began fumbling with the buttons of Chan's shirt.

Just when things were seemingly getting better between the two boys, in the matter of days it all crumbled. Felix was acting out and taking things way too far per usual.

"Felix, please stop. We need to talk things out. Can we do that? Please?" Chan questioned, putting a hand on top of the tiny ones unbuttoning his shirt. Felix locked eyes with him, considering his brother's offer, before quickly shaking his head.

"Don't wanna talk. Wanna fuck you. Please- hiccup fuck me." The small boy said, eyes growing red and puffy. "Felix. Even if for some reason I was okay with having sex during a time like this, I still wouldn't because you're not sober. I refuse to take advantage of you."

Felix rolled his eyes, slapping away Chan's hand and continuing with undoing the white buttons on his brother's shirt. "Felix, I said no!" Chan shouted. "Just fuck me, dammit! Why won't you fuck me?!" Felix cried, tears brewing in his eyes.

"Because sex isn't the answer to all life's problems! You really think that after everything that's been going on these past couple days, fucking you is a top priority for me?!" Chan said, pushing Felix off of him and walking towards the door. "I understand that this is hard for you, but have you even once thought about how I feel? You have not once asked me how I felt! Never once asked if I was okay!" Chan spat, tears brewing from his eyes as well.

Felix nervously bit his lip, looking down at the bed as tears fell from his eyes. He knew Chan was right. He had been extremely selfish during all of this.

"It's always about you, Felix! All you care about is yourself! Did you think about me when you went out to go get wasted, knowing I don't like when you do stuff like that? God knows what else you were doing! Who you were with?! I love you and you continuously think of yourself. I've spent these last few days trying to be strong for you!"

"It's not like we are fucking dating! What are you my husband?!" Felix shouted, clenching tightly at his bedsheets.

"You still never even gave me an answer on that either, but guessing by how you continuously act, I'm assuming it's a no." Chan spoke, reaching for the door handle before a small hand pulled his arm back.

"D-don't go. I'm sorry..." Felix pleaded, pulling Chan into a tight hug. The older boy hugged him back, both crying into each other's arms. "I know I keep messing up. I know I seemingly only care about myself, b-but that's not the case." Felix said in between choked sobs and hiccups.

"I lo-love you- hiccup C-Channie." Chan pulled away, locking eyes with his little brother. He spared him a small smile, only for it to disappear just as fast as it came. "W-why is there a hickey on your neck? I didn't give that to you." Chan questioned, noticing the deep red mark on his brother's pale skin.

"I-I promise it's not what you think!" Felix quickly spoke, clinging back onto Chan's arm. "I should've fucking known, Lix. You never change. Don't ever, and I mean ever touch me again." Chan spat, harshly tugging his wrist away and making his way out of Felix's room.

He stormed out, stopping for a second upon seeing both his parents standing in the hallway with worried looks on their faces. He ran straight to his room, ignoring Felix's loud pleas and cries for him.