𝟠𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕗 𝔹𝕋𝕊

Hate

Your hand trembled as you leaned your forehead on your palm. Trying to steady your breathing as you threw your phone away, beside you onto the bed

You looked at yourself in your mirror. Understanding why armys were saying what they were saying

Someone who is unattractive. Someone who has dark circles and who is so skinny her bones are visible. Someone who is talentless. Someone who is in the vocal line when she doesn't deserve to
Someone who is in the rap line when she can't even rap.

Someone who is weak and couldn't even stand up against her parents. Someone who is so childish she gets afraid of darkness even after being an adult

Someone who is so low that she seeks attention all the time from the other members. Someone who could be a potential slut. Someone who is there in the group for no reason. Someone who doesn't have any talent other than seducing boys.

And that someone, according to most people, was you.

It was bearable until they had mentioned you as weak. Until they had started making fun of your childhood.

It had deeply hurt you. You knew you never stood up to your parents because of the fear they had set in your mind. But weak? You were anything but weak.

Imagine living in the regret of a lost childhood. All the things a normal child got which you didn't.

Then getting hate just for being the only girl in a group which was supposed to be a boy group.

Witnessing a incident which had left another trauma and fear. Then getting harrased and slipping into coma.

But in the end still standing up. Is that still known as weak? Wouldn't still smiling after all this be something only a strong person could do?

But who could you tell this to? Who was there to listen to your problems? Who had the time?

Even i wanted to enjoy childhood like everyone. Even i wanted to see what a normal family dinner was like. Even i wanted to know what a high-school dance was like. Even i some times wanted to be a brat to my parents just so they could give me attention

I used to envy the other kids so much. They would tell me how I had the perfect life.

having the full attention of your parents since you were a only child. Being the class topper with elegance and manners in each step. Being mature and independent at such a young age. What else would a child and their parents want? What they didn't know was that you had no life of your own whatsoever

Everything you did was for your parent's happiness. None of it was of your free will.

Who knew the impact that had on you? Who knew that even if they were trying to get you to be disciplined by being strict and hard, they were just creating a character with no self esteem of their own?
Who knew it? No one.

Smiling softly to yourself, you looked down at your hands in your lap.

I was never a help to anyone. All I  am is a person who just sits there and adds burden. I couldn't even be the perfect daughter

You looked up at the ceiling. Not wanting your tears to spill from your brims

Negative thoughts and bad memories flowed in like a huge wave over your head

"There is no place in the world for weak kids who can't even hide their emotions" something your father quoted on a daily

You took a deep breathe, trying to calm and get a hold on yourself